The irony of gays judging other gays....

  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 25, 2012 12:50 PM GMT
    (Playing devil's advocate): As if it's not bad enuf that straights judge us as freaks, we have to pass judgement on each other. It's stifling enuf how straight people judge our lifestyle as weird & deviant, why then wud we turn around & judge other gays as weird or less than other gays. Everyone has an opinion & a viewpoint. If we can't tolerate other gays in our community who has a certain viewpoint that we don't agree with, how do u expect straights to tolerate us as a whole? Does anyone see the irony & hypocrisy within our gay community?
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    Oct 25, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    I see the irony in judging others for judging others.

    It's a vicious cycle.

    Maybe we're never going to get people to stop judging? Maybe the real solution is we need to teach individuals to not care so much what people, who aren't important/don't matter in their lives, say?

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    Oct 25, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, the issue is far out of our control and is going to take a world wide life changing experience to shake everybody up. (i.e 9 - 11 came around and everyone became much nicer following it) It's is the same in just about every different community or social class, you always hear the argument of how black people have made it so far yet tear each other down.

    It's a shitty situation and times that we live in. Just have to make the absolute best out of it.
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    Oct 25, 2012 12:57 PM GMT
    It's human nature. Just because we're gay doesn't mean intolerance and bigotry will completely vanish.
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    Oct 25, 2012 12:58 PM GMT


    It would depend on what they're being judged on.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 25, 2012 12:59 PM GMT
    charlitos saidIt's human nature. Just because we're gay doesn't mean intolerance and bigotry will completely vanish.


    I agree, you hope guys have some appreciation for tolerance.... some don't seem to appreciate it...lol
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 25, 2012 1:10 PM GMT
    They can't see beyond their judgements & censorship. Everyone must run away from them they're so negative. They seriously need to lighten up & be a free spirit. Life's easier when they don't stifle themselves or others. They need to let others be who they are. Worry about themselves cause god knows they have a lot of issues to spew such negativity everytime they see something they don't agree with. Anyone who pities shud be pitied the most cause off the bat they think they're better than the one they're pitying. No one's better than anyone else. To constantly point out what they think is wrong with someone is vapid. We're all dysfunctional in some way or other. It's the common denominator that links us all together---straight or gay. Ur in denial if u think ur not or think ur better adjusted than the next guy & above them. Get over urself.
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    Oct 25, 2012 1:16 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    It would depend on what they're being judged on.



    RuPuals drag race and Projectb Runway are entirely based on being judged.
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    Oct 25, 2012 1:17 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    meninlove said

    It would depend on what they're being judged on.



    RuPuals drag race and Projectb Runway are entirely based on being judged.


    That's not what I'm referring to, but OK, lol!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Oct 25, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
    it's not really irony unless you talk about how gays are homophobic themselves
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    Oct 25, 2012 1:34 PM GMT
    Yeah as a double minority it wasn't really a shock to me because i've already been through it within the black community. It's a paradox but my opinion is basically it's easier to judge the other person than to judge ourselves because we may have a tendency to justify our actions and it can be a challenge to reason with our subjective.

    The solution that's worked for me so far is to just listen. Understand where the person is coming from and most importantly not take it personal. We may not like what we hear sometimes but that doesn't make it more or less valid,

    Friends who thought gays were drama queens and highly sensitive reevaluated their viewpoints upon meeting me. The guy at school I considered to be an annoying ass, returned my id, phone and ipod to security when i lost it and then approached me the next day asking if I got my stuff back.

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    Oct 25, 2012 1:37 PM GMT
    calibro saidit's not really irony unless you talk about how gays are homophobic themselves


    Especially here. Often times RJ looks more like a combination of Mean Girls and Heathers. And then we have a kubuya thread to smooth it over icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 25, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    There's so much self hate buried below the beautiful surfaces of a lot of gay men that it's not shocking that they are also incredibly judgemental.

    I used to get really offended when guys would make catty remarks etc but then I stopped to think about where it came from. Also a lot of the time they don't even mean what they say when they judge you, it's just their defence mechanisms acting up.
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    Oct 25, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidThere's so much self hate buried below the beautiful surfaces of a lot of gay men that it's not shocking that they are also incredibly judgemental.

    I used to get really offended when guys would make catty remarks etc but then I stopped to think about where it came from. Also a lot of the time they don't even mean what they say when they judge you, it's just their defence mechanisms acting up.


    We have a winner! EXACTLY!
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    Oct 25, 2012 2:43 PM GMT
    spgem saidAs if it's not bad enuf that straights judge us as freaks, we have to pass judgement on each other. It's stifling enuf how straight people judge our lifestyle as weird & deviant, why then wud we turn around & judge other gays as weird or less than other gays. Everyone has an opinion & a viewpoint. If we can't tolerate other gays in our community who has a certain viewpoint that we don't agree with, how do u expect straights to tolerate us as a whole? Does anyone see the irony within our gay community?


    Stop thinking rationally. You might incite a riot around here.
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    Oct 25, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    If you must have a solution...

    First, practice what you preach.

    Next, stop preaching.

    Finally, go back to the world, and tell us how it goes.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Oct 25, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    I think sexuality needs to be taken out of the equation. It's just people judging people. Has always happened, and will always happen, regardless of any group an individual associates with.
  • Nico3687

    Posts: 108

    Oct 25, 2012 3:03 PM GMT

    Bully - Victim cycle.

    My theory is that nearly every gay has grown up experiencing this cycle in excess (usually on the victim side) and carries a lot of trauma/pain.... As sick as it is, I think we judge as a way of finally getting to be The Bully.
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    Oct 25, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    What? Do gays not bully gays? Ever seen to African American men in a fight before? I guess because we're minorities we're immune to the SAME EXACT bullshit that affects everyone else.
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    Oct 25, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    In all those years judging, my shoes never changed, but my soul sure wore out! icon_neutral.gif
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    Oct 25, 2012 3:08 PM GMT
    Yogi567 saidWhat? Do gays not bully gays? Ever seen to African American men in a fight before? I guess because we're minorities we're immune to the SAME EXACT bullshit that affects everyone else.


    Just looking at your pic my back hurts.
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    Oct 25, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    Gay men are just as judgemental and hypocritical as straight men. Gay men are more egocentric like women, so they victimize themselves. I say stop worrying about what other people think. They don't matter. Keep doing your thing and only associate with people who are appropriate for you in regards to where you are on your life path.

    Someone, somewhere is going to judge you. It is human nature. There's no point in thinking about it.
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    Oct 25, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    LAGuy1979 saidGay men are just as judgemental and hypocritical as straight men. Gay men are more egocentric like women, so they victimize themselves. I say stop worrying about what other people think. They don't matter. Keep doing your thing and only associate with people who are appropriate for you in regards to where you are on your life path.

    Someone, somewhere is going to judge you. It is human nature. There's no point in thinking about it.
    QFT*& FTW*
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Oct 25, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    I see the irony in having a lifestyle instead of a life :p

    (I do see your main message though)
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    Oct 25, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidI see the irony in judging others for judging others.

    It's a vicious cycle.

    Maybe we're never going to get people to stop judging? Maybe the real solution is we need to teach individuals to not care so much what people, who aren't important/don't matter in their lives, say?



    You are wise for someone so young.... hit the nail on the proverbial head. icon_surprised.gif