Aug 21, 2007 5:31 PM GMT
Several threads recently have dealt with the nature of masculinity and Femininity, and perception in our society.
I have to admit that I have sometimes wondered if I sub consciously over compensate sometimes for being gay; I wonder if some of my choices weren’t made because I might be afraid of either my self perception or society’s.
I chose sort of hyper masculine, over achieving, paths when I was growing up and even as an adult:
I was an Eagle Scout and Explorer; I triple lettered in HS and College (Football [1-A], Wrestling, Track & Field), I enlisted in the Army (12 years, always honor graduate, became a Ranger and 1SG). I went to an engineering school and joined a Frat. I have always loved hunting, fishing, camping, and the outdoors. I dive and sport fish. Eventually I started my own company, and even though it’s a tech company we expanded into areas of industrial and corporate security and investigations, we do a lot of defense contracting. Some my clients are in very rough spots in the world. My recreational activities and pleasure are mostly sports and outdoor related. Finally I married a guy who used to be in the SAS himself.
Lets face it, those are not things typically associated in the publics perception of most gays.
I like doing things on the edge, I like the rush of adrenaline I get from some activities. I am usually very good at what I do. I’ve been told I can be intimidating.
In short, sometimes I have to wonder if just maybe some of the choices I have made, some of things I do, might not be because somehow I am trying to subconsciously compensate for my admitting that I am gay.
Has anyone else ever thought about things like this?