Catty Gay Guys

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    So I went to a gay bar for the 1st time with one of my friends. So we ended up meeting up with a group of hot guys. One of the guys decided to call my friend a "baby bear" because he is a lil chubby and hairy. I thought that was extremely rude and inconsiderate for someone to say to a stranger. I ended up coming to his defense but this guy kept wanting to argue with me about how it wasn't rude in gay culture to say that...Just want to get others opinions if this is true?!?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 26, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    sounds like an endearing nickname .. like Sugar Bear, Hunny Bunns, Sweet Cheeks ... lighten up! ... sounds more like you are crushing on your friend and got jealous
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    Oct 26, 2012 3:59 PM GMT
    if the baby bear wasnt offended, then neither should you be...
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    Oct 26, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    I understand where you're coming from, but why fight your friend's battle? Shouldn't he be doing that for himself (unless, of course, he's somehow incapable of defending himself--in which case, yes, perhaps help was in order) ? Also, note that plenty of gay guys like "bears," so perhaps the guy was offering him a compliment.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Oct 26, 2012 6:30 PM GMT
    I think it was meant as a compliment. If the "baby bear" wasn't offended, you shouldn't be either!
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:19 PM GMT
    That sounds like a cute nickname to me, not a rude comment. Was he offended?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 27, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    I'm not really sure what you're getting at...

    Are you trying to say you're catty for getting mad about the nickname? Or are you saying you think nicknames are catty?icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    true. The correct term is cub. I think its more that you are hypersensitive vs. someone being catty. You should relax a bit.
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    Um. Get ready for a lot worse than that if you frequent gay bars.

    Plus. Baby Bear sounds cute. If he had said "fat ass bear" then that's a different story.
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
    To clarify everything....He didnt like the name it was pretty much calling him fat and he is shy and passive so thats why I defended him because he was to scared to do so himself!
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:42 PM GMT
    Yogi567 saidUm. Get ready for a lot worse than that if you frequent gay bars.

    Plus. Baby Bear sounds cute. If he had said "fat ass bear" then that's a different story.


    I agree. I think that he definitely meant it in an endearing way. It would have been rude if he even said, "Mr. Chubs." I also wouldn't dwell on your misinterpretation though, it was your first experience in a gay bar and you probably had your guards up.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 27, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    USCGAMECOCK12 saidTo clarify everything....He didnt like the name it was pretty much calling him fat and he is shy and passive so thats why I defended him because he was to scared to do so himself!

    Maybe you both need to lighten up then. You should become lovers or better yet hit the gym together. The term was not offensive, yet both you and he took offense, so obviously he has some insecurities about his weight. The best way to get rid of that is to loose the weight. No sympathy here.
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    USCGAMECOCK12 saidTo clarify everything....He didnt like the name it was pretty much calling him fat and he is shy and passive so thats why I defended him because he was to scared to do so himself!


    I think it being your first time in a gay bar you are not familiar with various terms of endearment and social interaction. and were already very stand off ish. Your friend being socially awkward didnt help.
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    Oct 27, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    I have no idea how people are confusing rudeness with endearment...u should never comment about someones weight esp being in a superficial lifestyle as homosexuality. I guess to each his own though...
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    Oct 27, 2012 9:40 PM GMT
    You don't get it. Gays call bears, bears not to insult them but that's what they are.
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    Oct 27, 2012 9:44 PM GMT
    I don't think that's offensive at all if they were trying to build some intimacy.
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    Oct 27, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    It all comes down to the intent of the comment. Did he say it to be bitchy? Or did he genuinely want to give a compliment, but you and your friend took it as an insult? If the guy was hot and didn't mean it as an insult, you just totally cockblocked your friend. Since he's a shy guy, you should have stepped up to the plate and acted as his wingman. Next time, don't be so quick to throw your claws in the air. Engage in conversation and see if the guy is cool or if he's a douche. If he's the latter, then you know for sure he didn't say what he said as a compliment.
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    Oct 27, 2012 10:10 PM GMT
    USCGAMECOCK12 saidI have no idea how people are confusing rudeness with endearment...u should never comment about someones weight esp being in a superficial lifestyle as homosexuality. I guess to each his own though...

    Why did you start a discussion if you didnt want to hear from other people.

    Maybe you should just stay home, turn off the computer, and play solitaire.
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    Oct 27, 2012 10:12 PM GMT
    Meow meow meow, meow meow meow!

    MEOW! icon_biggrin.gif

    clap-cheetah-emoticon.gif?1302786122
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    Oct 27, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    thundercats_gif_by_specimel-d3a53tf.gif

    I'm a proud Thundercat. >:O
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    Oct 27, 2012 10:28 PM GMT
    USCGAMECOCK12 saidI have no idea how people are confusing rudeness with endearment...u should never comment about someones weight esp being in a superficial lifestyle as homosexuality. I guess to each his own though...


    superficial??? lifestyle??? lmao.......knock the chip off and start again.....
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    Oct 27, 2012 10:37 PM GMT
    If yer into Bears than being a Baby Bear isn't an insult.

    At all.

    THIS is how you chose to spend your first night at a Gay Bar???

    Yer doing it wrong Dude.

    icon_wink.gificon_cool.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 27, 2012 10:56 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidsounds like an endearing nickname


    this.

    if someone gets called a fucking piece of shit, consider that an insult. baby bear, not so much.
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    Oct 27, 2012 11:05 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    AMoonHawk saidsounds like an endearing nickname


    this.

    if someone gets called a fucking piece of shit, consider that an insult. baby bear, not so much.


    So wait...then the Guy who took Me to lunch today WASN'T into Me the way I thought He was?????

    No WONDER the waitress called the cops....

    icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 27, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    It depends on how he said it, but it sounds like just a cute nickname to me. icon_confused.gif

    If your friend wasn't upset by it, then why would you be?