...because I see way too many topics about this being a gay problem....

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    Oct 29, 2012 1:15 AM GMT


    ...I'm going to share with you some straight world issues.

    We have 'kids' both gay and straight. They are not biologically ours nor adopted kids. They're young adults that need fairy god-fathers, lol.

    Carol, 25, is sweet as the day is long, and all kinds of pretty (dynamite pretty).
    A little over a year ago one of her friends of a few years ended his high school begun romance with his GF . He began courting Carol. Slowly at first then persistently. Renot and Carol began dating, and over the course of a few months it got very serious and pretty wonderful.

    Then, at one point, it stalled. She couldn't meet his family, most of his friends, visit him at work, or go to his place. His ex GF, he explained, knew them all and he 'didn't want her to feel bad'. The visits to Carol became fewer, sometimes once in 2 weeks.
    One day he told her he was going skydiving with a buddy. She wasn't allowed to come along because if anything bad happened he didn't want her to witness a horrible accident.
    Most recently, he decided to go on a trip away to another country for 10 days. She wasn't invited. Instead, he told he that he loved her and was in love with her but needed his space. He said he'd never been single and thought he should for awhile.
    Not to sleep with or date anyone else, he said. Carol asked him what she was to feel and do. He said he didn't know. She asked him how he'd feel if she'd said all that he said to her. He said he'd be upset.

    She asked if they were ending things. He said he didn't know. He left for 10 days. No contact til just before he returned. Emails that asked no questions, but said he missed her constantly and thought about her constantly and hoped she was well.

    Then he returned... no calls. So after a few days, watching her in her grief, I told her to email him with two words, "...call me."

    He did. He told her again that he loved her deeply and was also deeply in love with her but wanted to be single so he could see what it was like, and to sort himself out. He said he had no idea how long that would be but wanted her to wait for him.

    She told him she wanted him to at least tell her that in person, and could he come over. No, he said, he had a party to go to.

    Today was an agony for her. She called him again and he agreed to see her (to say to her face what he'd said on the phone) by taking her to a restaurant. He told her not to look nice because that could make him change his mind about being single.
    Egads.

    -Doug
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Oct 29, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    This seemed extremely....sad.. icon_cry.gif

    its like he just keeps her hanging on by that thread of "I love you..." and won't let her go and yet he doesnt want to be with her? I was soo confused by this guys actions.
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    Oct 29, 2012 4:41 AM GMT
    Krisle1 saidThis seemed extremely....sad.. icon_cry.gif

    its like he just keeps her hanging on by that thread of "I love you..." and won't let her go and yet he doesnt want to be with her? I was soo confused by this guys actions.


    Hey. *hug*

    It's just a true incident that's unfolding as we post. We hope it gives perspective to guys that think it's because of the gay.

    -Doug
  • RaggedyMan

    Posts: 7185

    Oct 29, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    Is he afraid of love? Did he talk to someone who convinced him otherwise? Makes no sense. Keep us updated please.
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:02 AM GMT
    sanjose408 saidIs he afraid of love? Did he talk to someone who convinced him otherwise? Makes no sense. Keep us updated please.


    OK will do, once I hear from her.

    warmly,
    -Doug
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:12 AM GMT
    He wants his cake and eat it, too. He needs to grow a pair of balls and stop abusing Carol.
    Carol needs to figure out what she wants. Why is she asking him "what she was to feel and do"??
    Sorry, red flags just flying all over the place. Doesn't sound healthy at all.
    Hope you can help them see that, Doug. All the best.
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    meninlove saidHe said he had no idea how long that would be but wanted her to wait for him. She told him she wanted him to at least tell her that in person, and could he come over. No, he said, he had a party to go to.

    Hmmm these things are not love! I feel for her. What a rough place to be, but sometimes necessary perhaps for self growth icon_sad.gif

    *hugs*
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:23 AM GMT


    I have a feeling he may, too late, understand this:

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    Oct 29, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    To Long DID read.

    Sound like the old back up game.

    Hopefully it's not that he's gay...still hate what I did to those woman; using the same lame excuses he is.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Oct 29, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    Well, I hope someone told her to ditch that jerkoff.
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidTo Long DID read.

    Sound like the old back up game.

    Hopefully it's not that he's gay...still hate what I did to those woman; using the same lame excuses he is.


    He's undeniably straight as they come. It just goes to show you that the straight world, as it is, is just as rife with heartaches of surprisingly similar situations as gay. (well, to me not surprising at all, lol)
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:47 AM GMT

    TerraFirma said, "Why is she asking him "what she was to feel and do"?? "

    Because they had a relationship that involved a lot of empathy at one point, where they considered how each other felt before saying something that may hurt the other or leave them in confusion.
    This is a great aspect to a relationship, and partly why this has me grieving.
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:51 AM GMT
    I wonder if this has anything to do with Caroll having gay parents( you guys), and that the boyfriend feels that could upset his family.
    Just a suspicion...
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:56 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidI wonder if this has anything to do with Caroll having gay parents( you guys), and that the boyfriend feels that could upset his family.
    Just a suspicion...


    lol, we're very far out of the picture, being only friends that became sort of parents that he's unaware of. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:58 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    GigoloAssassin saidI wonder if this has anything to do with Caroll having gay parents( you guys), and that the boyfriend feels that could upset his family.
    Just a suspicion...


    lol, we're very far out of the picture, being only friends that became sort of parents that he's unaware of. icon_wink.gif


    Hmmmm....
    I'd check his family anyway, make sure they're not voting for Romney. icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 29, 2012 5:59 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    meninlove said
    GigoloAssassin saidI wonder if this has anything to do with Caroll having gay parents( you guys), and that the boyfriend feels that could upset his family.
    Just a suspicion...


    lol, we're very far out of the picture, being only friends that became sort of parents that he's unaware of. icon_wink.gif


    Hmmmm....
    I'd check his family anyway, make sure they're not voting for Romney. icon_razz.gif


    ROFL!
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    Oct 29, 2012 6:01 AM GMT

    She just got home, so I'll have a little more info on what happened later or tomorrow.

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    Oct 29, 2012 6:08 AM GMT
    Of course these things aret inherit to the gay community. There's people like this guy everywhere, straight or gay it dont matter. Being straight wont make ur love life any easier.

    On another note, I hope Carol can get out of this...it is not a very healthy way to love anyone...time to move on
  • unhooligan

    Posts: 92

    Oct 29, 2012 6:11 AM GMT
    That guy is selfish. He himself said he would have been upset if Carol told him the same things. That didn't stop him from taking a trip though. Also who cares about their ex enough to avoid making them jealous. Tell Carol to cut ties with the jerkoff. On to the next one.
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    Oct 29, 2012 6:13 AM GMT
    charlitos saidOf course these things aret inherit to the gay community. There's people like this guy everywhere, straight or gay it dont matter. Being straight wont make ur love life any easier.

    On another note, I hope Carol can get out of this...it is not a very healthy way to love anyone...time to move on


    Mmmhmmmm....


    On a side note;
    OMG CHARLITOS, HI! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 29, 2012 7:43 AM GMT


    Oh my.... wait reading 26.gif
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    Oct 29, 2012 7:57 AM GMT
    One day he told her he was going skydiving with a buddy. She wasn't allowed to come along because if anything bad happened he didn't want her to witness a horrible accident

    I honestly hate this part..

    Most recently, he decided to go on a trip away to another country for 10 days. She wasn't invited. Instead, he told he that he loved her and was in love with her but needed his space. He said he'd never been single and thought he should for awhile.

    Such a mantle moron..

    He did. He told her again that he loved her deeply and was also deeply in love with her but wanted to be single so he could see what it was like, and to sort himself out. He said he had no idea how long that would be but wanted her to wait for him.

    Aiks icon_eek.gif hmm dont know how to scale this..

    Today was an agony for her. She called him again and he agreed to see her (to say to her face what he'd said on the phone) by taking her to a restaurant. He told her not to look nice because that could make him change his mind about being single.

    icon_eek.gif WTF...now i seriously dont know how to decipher this case, if i were her guardian angel , I would box him on the face or just trip him or make a dog pee on his shoes/pants!..seriously!? icon_mad.gificon_question.gif

    My answer to her( hmmm this is tough only chemistry within them shall weigh out things)

    I sense she is just wasting her time but then Not icon_confused.gif

    Well I'll go with : He is such a dope! and not a decent gentleman, I feel sad for her. icon_cry.gif
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    Oct 29, 2012 8:02 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    charlitos saidOf course these things aret inherit to the gay community. There's people like this guy everywhere, straight or gay it dont matter. Being straight wont make ur love life any easier.

    On another note, I hope Carol can get out of this...it is not a very healthy way to love anyone...time to move on


    Mmmhmmmm....


    On a side note;
    OMG CHARLITOS, HI! icon_biggrin.gif


    oh well they are a sexy couple! icon_cool.gif* with apples on the line shhh
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    Oct 29, 2012 8:35 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    They're young adults that need fairy god-fathers, lol.


    Good God. Carol does not need fairy god-fathers, Meninlove. She needs two large men with clubs and bad attitudes. Even fairies have to whoop a little ass now and then. I think he should consider it nothing short of a miracle that he has retained his kneecaps.

    But seriously. What. A. Dick.

    A musical selection for her:





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    Oct 29, 2012 9:05 AM GMT
    Actions always speak louder than words. Since the BF is substituting words for action then there really is no relationship. Its as of your daughter is reading a romance novel and believing that it is reality.