What do you think are the gay communities biggest internal issues.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 29, 2012 9:21 PM GMT
    It seems like gays are always talking about things like marriage and DADT, but there isn't as much focus on the issues that we create or perpetuate within out own community.

    Depression
    Substance Abuse
    HIV
    Attraction Bias
    Poor body image

    These problems are either not given the attention they deserve or dismissed all together. It would seem logical that we have the most control over these issues so we would be more ambitious about fixing them we are the limiting factor in the pursuit of the solution. We don't have to depend on other people to fix them for us. Is it possible that much of the sadness that gays go through has to do with how we treat each other, not how straight people treat us?
  • Another_Jerem...

    Posts: 355

    Oct 29, 2012 9:51 PM GMT
    Superficiality

    Classicism

    Racism

    Misogyny
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    Oct 29, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
    I think HIV and STD prevention is a pretty big issue.

    I also agree with depression/suicide - especially for our youth who are bullied and harassed at school and put down at home.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 29, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    Not enough naked men icon_twisted.gif
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    Oct 29, 2012 10:43 PM GMT
    Haven't gotten any lately, so I'm in need of a big...internal...issue. icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 30, 2012 4:36 AM GMT
    New around here, guess I'm picking something a little heavy for a first post, but here it goes...

    Certainly, I think that depression and suicide are definitely some of the biggest things we need to address. But, these I also think are largely externally driven. Not to say that we can't do anything to help fix it...

    What I really have been noticing recently is the fracturing of the LGBT Community. For a long time, I thought that if we could just convince straight people that we were exactly the same as them (just liked different things), that we'd somehow "win" or something. But, recently, I've started to think that all of our attempts to blend in to "normal" culture actually end up hurting parts of the community. Sure, for those of us that are upper-middle class, white, traditionally gendered and "straight acting" this probably would work well. Unfortunately, if you don't fit the Modern Family/ New Normal model of what it is to be gay, it seems that you get 'double-marginalized.' It just seems to me that in a lot of ways, the LGBT community fights so hard assimilate into straight culture, that we often leave many out (trans, racial minorities, etc.). And, if the LGBT community isn't inclusive, where do these people fit in?

    I can't pretend I have all the answers, just something I've been thinking about a lot recently.

    Sorry for the heavy first post... I'm not usually so morose I swear...
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 30, 2012 5:43 AM GMT
    The biggest issue is there are not enough out gay me

    Be free of your self imposed bondages... I command it
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    Oct 30, 2012 5:48 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said What do you think are the gay communities biggest internal issues.
    People who hate us and want to re-write the laws to ban us.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2012 5:54 AM GMT
    There is no "us" community in the gays at least not in my city. Divided we fall, too many social, moral and economic divides in the gay community.
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    Oct 30, 2012 11:52 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    DEKIRUMAN said What do you think are the gay communities biggest internal issues.
    People who hate us and want to re-write the laws to ban us.


    That's not an internal issue. Gay people can talk forever about issues over which they do not have immediate control. I'm talking about the ones that we do have control over. Frankly, I'm not all that interested in hearing about marriage and DADT if we're not going to fix our interactions with each other.
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    Oct 30, 2012 11:55 AM GMT
    Not being able to socialize with others outside the gay community. Literally girls are almost frowned upon.

    What I mean by this is that everyone always wants to go to a gay bar, club, party, play gay sports, be around gay people. Nothing wrong but its nice to step outside and realize the world doesn't revolve around the gays.
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    Oct 30, 2012 11:57 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidThe biggest issue is there are not enough out gay me

    Be free of your self imposed bondages... I command it

    I support this message! Imagine how the world will be a better place if all the gays/bi's came out where there were! icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:00 PM GMT
    msuNtx saidNot being able to socialize with others outside the gay community. Literally girls are almost frowned upon.

    What I mean by this is that everyone always wants to go to a gay bar, club, party, play gay sports, be around gay people. Nothing wrong but its nice to step outside and realize the world doesn't revolve around the gays.

    Live how you want!
    Personally prefer both in moderation. if available at all?
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:13 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    paulflexes said
    DEKIRUMAN said What do you think are the gay communities biggest internal issues.
    People who hate us and want to re-write the laws to ban us.


    That's not an internal issue. Gay people can talk forever about issues over which they do not have immediate control. I'm talking about the ones that we do have control over. Frankly, I'm not all that interested in hearing about marriage and DADT if we're not going to fix our interactions with each other.
    Most internal issues are simply the effect of the external issues over which we have little or no control. Tackling the internal issues while ignoring the cause is like taking an aspirin for a broken leg instead of fixing the leg.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    Self judgment/ criticism

    Criticism of others

    Not being portrayed correctly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:54 PM GMT
    Over the last 6 months of so I think I have met 10+ people just chatting in coffee shops or working out and everyone of them in their 20's and all admitted to being HIV positive.
    So, I am starting to think there is a new wave of HIV sweeping the gay world.
  • MichaelG

    Posts: 48

    Oct 30, 2012 12:59 PM GMT
    Loyalty! Gay men seem to think with their dicks and not their brains. Maybe it is just men?
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    Oct 30, 2012 1:00 PM GMT
    MichaelG saidLoyalty! Gay men seem to think with their dicks and not their brains. Maybe it is just men?
    Maybe? LMAO!

    Next time you're driving through town, count the number of tittie bars and compare it with the number of male stripper bars. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 30, 2012 1:11 PM GMT
    Another_Jeremy saidSuperficiality

    Classicism

    Racism

    Misogyny


    The DENIAL that men have that they aren't any of these icon_neutral.gif
  • robevans912

    Posts: 87

    Oct 30, 2012 1:40 PM GMT
    The biggest problem can be summed up by one of Shakespeare's many insightful metaphors:

    Out, out, brief candle!
    Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
    that struts and frets his hour upon the stage
    and then is heard no more: it is a tale
    told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    signifying nothing.


    This quote is different depending on context, but the central points remain:

    Insignificance and irrelevance.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Oct 30, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    posting about their personal lives on rj
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Oct 30, 2012 1:54 PM GMT
    HIV/AIDS. Hands down.

    Yeah, I do think a lot of the problems gay men face are because of how we treat each other. Most other minority groups can fairly easily find acceptance within their demographics, and I don't think that's really the case for us. I don't think attraction bias is the problem, more so lack of unity overall.
  • ArtistLike

    Posts: 75

    Oct 30, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    In some ways, gay men are even more conservative than the population at large. We are expected to be overachievers in terms of everything from personal appearance to career; it's overcompensation for having been too different when we were younger.

    And we must conform: short hair, broad shoulders, small waist, muscular, well groomed, well dressed, flawless skin.

    And then there are the prejudices--a very quick survey of online profiles reveals what should be shocking, but which generally goes unaddressed:

    -"No one over 30!" [Ageism]

    -"No fems!" [Homophobia]

    -"No fats!" [Looksism--let's not kid ourselves; this is not about health]

    -"Not into blacks or asians!" [Racism, and it's not negated by "sorry! just a preference!"];

    -"Be successful!" [Classism]

    -"Take care of yourself/be healthy!" [Coded language that invariably does not mean 'have an annual physical examination, eat and exercise in moderation,' but rather 'work out compulsively, have atypically low body fat,' etc.]

    And I notice several people have said HIV/AIDS is a major problem, but that's the effect, not the cause. The cause is (usually) unprotected sex, and it seems to me (again, based on online profiles I've seen every day since the mid-1990s) that "barebacking" is trendy. Back in the 90s/early 2000s, "PNP" and "Tina" were the scariest things I'd read on Manhunt, etc., and thankfully those have diminished in popularity, but now it seems a lot of people are "bb friendly," which is very troubling indeed.

    There is a pathological need to conform within the gay community that seems to be is freakishly similar to high school: within the overall stereotype, there are sub-stereotypes, and cliques are formed by these groups. "Real jock" is just one of them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    Drug abuse
    HIV/STD prevention
    Double standards
    Pretentiousness
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Oct 30, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    The propensity of extreme-gullibility & submission to prevaricating news mediums and politicians.