Why can't people let others know of what they're doing?

  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Oct 30, 2012 12:28 AM GMT
    Something I'm fed up with is when people tell me they'll text me if they hear of something or saying they'll hit me up later or they'll let me know if something's going on, but then they never do call or text me later! Okay, I understand that people are busy and from time to time, things do pop up that were unexpected. Maybe they're no longer interested in hanging out later. That's fine and all, but is it too much trouble to let someone know what their plans are? There's also the case where someone tells me that he's going to something I invited him to, but then the day of the event, he is nowhere to be found at the event, and didn't follow up with a call, text, message, or anything that he wasn't going to make it. I understand that sometimes people forget or don't have their phone with them or something happens that they aren't able to give you the heads up, but as a repeated pattern, it gets tiring.

    What I don't understand is why is it such a problem to let your friend know of what you're doing or whether you can't make it to something or no longer want to hang out? If I know I can't make it to something, I tell my friend upfront that "I'm sorry, I can't make it I have too much homework." or "I already have plans then." or "I'm not feeling hanging out tonight sorry." If my friend invites me to something, I tell him whether I'm going to go or not. If I say I'm going but then can't make it, I tell him. If I say I'm going to hit someone up, I do text them later telling them what's going on. I don't think it should really be that difficult to let your friend know what's going on. Yet, most people don't even let me know what's going on. I have maybe give or take only one or two friends who will really let me know when they can't make something I planned or actually hit me up when they hear of something.

    Why can't people let their friends know of what they're doing? It's just one text or call away from letting the other know what the plan is. Again, I can understand that there are times where people forget or are too busy or have no way to reach you because their phone is broken or something, and that's fine, but if it becomes a repeated pattern, it's obvious that those don't account for most of the scenarios in which someone never got back to you. So why do people make it out to be so difficult?

    I mean, the way I see it now is if you can't let others know of what your plan is, you are one of those I shouldn't be bothering to hit up as I have a good feeling that you're not going to get back to me. This is esp true if I repeatedly try hitting you up and you never let me know what you plan on doing, whether you're hanging out with me or not, or if you need to cancel because of something that popped up. If you don't let me know, I get tired of trying to make plans with you and may stop altogether because you're really at least to me making no effort to get something going to spend with one another, then why should I be making the effort to spend time with you?
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:40 AM GMT
    yeah, that's about it.....now all you got left is a long, slow crawl to death.
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:43 AM GMT
    my solution when i get one of those...

    move on.

    what it means when i give one.. time for you to move on sweet heart.

    if they dont get the hint the first time they get the much more blunt version of bugger off.
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Oct 30, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidmy solution when i get one of those...

    move on.

    what it means when i give one.. time for you to move on sweet heart.

    if they dont get the hint the first time they get the much more blunt version of bugger off.


    That is how I've been taking it from here. If it's too much trouble to arrange something with someone to get to spend time with them, I just try to avoid them and stop wasting effort on trying to get something going. The other must do his part in order for it to work out. Or maybe I should start calling out people when they fail to let me know what's going on or say they're going to make it to something I planned then they don't without letting me know.
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    It's none of your business what your friends are doing. If you're not doing something of interest to you, it's your own fault. Stop trying to infringe on others, and get your own damn hobbies. icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 30, 2012 12:56 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidIt's none of your business what your friends are doing. If you're not doing something of interest to you, it's your own fault. Stop trying to infringe on others, and get your own damn hobbies. icon_razz.gif
    Perfect advice! I just might take myself! icon_razz.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
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    Oct 30, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    I get this from your type a lot and have learned to tell people, straight out, I don't text or like calling, more of a face to face guy; however I still get responses: "I thought you died...haven't got a text in almost a day".
    not to mention the mental breakdown i get when I tell them I don't carry my cellphone, as most of them have it stuck to their hand at all times.
    I do get there are lot of flaky people, A LOT. and yeah, I give them two times to flake on me, before I move on, but also make sure to give them shit about it later when something else comes up.
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Oct 30, 2012 1:08 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidIt's none of your business what your friends are doing. If you're not doing something of interest to you, it's your own fault. Stop trying to infringe on others, and get your own damn hobbies. icon_razz.gif


    What if I want to invite someone to do something with me that I do enjoy, and they say they'll let me know if they're interested or coming, but they never do let me know? Because hey, I like to include people in what I'm doing, but at the same time, I'd like to know if someone was planning on going. What if there's a limited amount of spots available for something. I want to invite someone to do something with me, but if he/she doesn't let me know if he plans on attending or not, how can I let someone else know about the event or trip? It's also nerve-wracking when committing to someone's plans only to have them canceled without notice ruins my night. But hey, I suppose it was my fault actually being loyal and following through with the person I made plans with or who made plans with me. I mean, if you've made plans with someone, you should follow through if you say you're going to be there. I know I could've made plans with my other friend, but we already made plans so why make plans with this other friend if I'm already (supposedly) booked?
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Oct 30, 2012 1:13 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidI get this from your type a lot and have learned to tell people, straight out, I don't text or like calling, more of a face to face guy; however I still get responses: "I thought you died...haven't got a text in almost a day".
    not to mention the mental breakdown i get when I tell them I don't carry my cellphone, as most of them have it stuck to their hand at all times.
    I do get there are lot of flaky people, A LOT. and yeah, I give them two times to flake on me, before I move on, but also make sure to give them shit about it later when something else comes up.


    But even if that were the case, I'd still let someone know if I can't make it to something or are no longer interested or whatever the story is. Even if you can't let them know in advance or prior, I'd still tell them when I see them again. There are people who don't even do so much as that; they don't acknowledge what I had going on that they said they would go to. If I couldn't tell them the night of the event, I'd still tell them when I see them again in person why I couldn't make it. That's fine, but I don't understand why people can't do so much as that either. Perhaps I expect too much of people.icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 30, 2012 1:16 AM GMT
    easterndude69 said
    paulflexes saidIt's none of your business what your friends are doing. If you're not doing something of interest to you, it's your own fault. Stop trying to infringe on others, and get your own damn hobbies. icon_razz.gif


    What if I want to invite someone to do something with me that I do enjoy, and they say they'll let me know if they're interested or coming, but they never do let me know?
    That means they have things that interest them above what interests you. Wait till they have time to do what you want to do. It doesn't mean they're not your friend...it just means they have other things to do.
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    Oct 30, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    Caslon21000 saidyeah, that's about it.....now all you got left is a long, slow crawl to death.


    This! haha!