Would you date a Porn Star or anyone involved with the Porn/Escort industry

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2008 3:20 PM GMT
    I was recently watching a show at my friends house about Mike Lucas and I was amazed that he had a lover. So could you or would you date a porn star? Do you think it is possible to do porn and have a regular life outside of porn.
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    Sep 03, 2008 8:17 PM GMT
    Well those are two very different questions. I think that you CAN have a "normal" life outside of the porn industry. These people still have to pay bills, shop for groceries, have holiday dinners with their families, etc. Moreover, like pretty well everyone else, they want to be loved. They aren't suddenly ostracized and cast to the outskirts of society. They're still regular people...just people who get paid to have sex on camera. It's not like they're tossing puppies into a deep fryer or anything. Given that you have a finite camera presence (unless you reach some sort of "superstar" status), and assuming that you don't blow it on drugs or other stupid purchases, if you were to invest that money wisely you could use it once you "retired". Mind you, you probably couldn't RETIRE-retire, but you certainly could retire from porn and go back to school or start a small business, etc.

    As for dating a porn star, I don't think I can personally answer that unless I found myself in that situation -- how much do I like this person? What are their plans for the future? I'd like to think that I could say yes (as I have found that the older I get the more liberal I have become sexually...at least in my ways of thinking).
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    Sep 03, 2008 8:42 PM GMT
    if i am that lucky,ofcourse,yes
  • Timbales

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    Sep 03, 2008 8:45 PM GMT
    Honestly? I don't think I could. I'd have no problems being friends with a porn actor, but my hang-ups would keep me unhappy, comparing myself to the guys he has sex with for film.
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    Sep 03, 2008 8:53 PM GMT
    Yes. Given that he has qualities other than just exhibitionism and being sexy. heh.

    I probably wouldn't mind it being an 'open relationship' for the sake of shooting porn if I really trusted him. I still don't know if I'm really an open relationship or a monogamous type of guy anyway. Though I lean more towards monogamy.

    So yeah, the universal answer. Depends on WHO it is, not what he does for a living.
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    Sep 03, 2008 9:04 PM GMT
    A very, very close friend of mine spent some time doing porn. He has 12 movies with a major studio, several of which he was the featured star. He has a solo video, a calendar, and his picture is all over the internet. He generally played the muscled hairy leather daddy who gets flipped on occasion.

    He also happens to be highly intelligent, loves to sing, loves fantasy and SciFi, collects Scooby Doo stuff, is involved with Historical Reenactments, and works in the computer industry.

    He retired from the industry in order to please his lover.

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    Sep 03, 2008 9:15 PM GMT
    6 requirements have to be met before I'll consider dating someone exclusively.
    Being in or having been in porn is not one of them.

    I wouldn't say that I don't want to date a chef because he cooks for other people, or because I like to cook. That's his job. It's not what he come's home to.
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    Sep 03, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    krush saidI was recently watching a show at my friends house about Mike Lucas and I was amazed that he had a lover. So could you or would you date a porn star? Do you think it is possible to do porn and have a regular life outside of porn.


    yes ... if i'm single ... but right now, i have a boyfriend ... so maybe next time ... he he ...
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    Sep 03, 2008 9:30 PM GMT
    bgcat57 said6 requirements have to be met before I'll consider dating someone exclusively.
    Being in or having been in porn is not one of them.

    I wouldn't say that I don't want to date a chef because he cooks for other people, or because I like to cook. That's his job. It's not what he come's home to.


    "Don't touch me, you slut! Your brussels sprouts have been on every plate in this town! I'm going out---for dinner!"
  • joeindallas

    Posts: 484

    Sep 03, 2008 9:34 PM GMT
    Love to try to Domesticate ZEB ATLAS
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    Sep 03, 2008 9:34 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    "Don't touch me, you slut! Your brussels sprouts have been on every plate in this town! I'm going out---for dinner!"


    LOL - Exactly!
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    Sep 03, 2008 10:57 PM GMT
    While this response isn't exactly on topic, I think it's close enough to be relevant:

    Six months after I first signed up for training at my gym, I was assigned a new trainer. His name was Gregg. Although the gym is primarily straight (as straight as a gym in Fort Lauderdale can be), I soon found out that he was gay, that he and his partner had been in town a relatively short time and felt they were having trouble meeting and making friends. My partner and I were having a large, dinner party the following week and we had room for a couple more guests, so I invited Gregg and his boyfriend to join us. The following training session, Gregg advised me that they would love to come to the party. Super. That's that!

    Literally minutes after Gregg accepted and my session was over, as I was leaving the gym, two neighbors stopped me to chat and asked "how do you like your new trainer?" I replied "Gregg's a sweet, shy really nice guy. I really like him. And he's quite knowledgeable about training." They looked surprised and said: "Oh! Is that the name he goes by here?"

    It turned out that Gregg was better known to every gay person in the world, except me, as Matthew Rush.

    My quandry was whether to uninvite the famous porn star from my party. But, upon reflection, I decided he was still the same sweet, shy, really nice guy he was before...why should it matter in the long run what his occupation was. He and his partner came to the party, were charming and friendly and a really nice addition to the party.

    While having him to the party is not anywhere near the same as dating him, I think I had the same thought processes, and my answer was...his occupation made no difference.
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    Sep 03, 2008 11:10 PM GMT
    rigsby saidWhile this response isn't exactly on topic, I think it's close enough to be relevant:

    Six months after I first signed up for training at my gym, I was assigned a new trainer. His name was Gregg. Although the gym is primarily straight (as straight as a gym in Fort Lauderdale can be), I soon found out that he was gay, that he and his partner had been in town a relatively short time and felt they were having trouble meeting and making friends. My partner and I were having a large, dinner party the following week and we had room for a couple more guests, so I invited Gregg and his boyfriend to join us. The following training session, Gregg advised me that they would love to come to the party. Super. That's that!

    Literally minutes after Gregg accepted and my session was over, as I was leaving the gym, two neighbors stopped me to chat and asked "how do you like your new trainer?" I replied "Gregg's a sweet, shy really nice guy. I really like him. And he's quite knowledgeable about training." They looked surprised and said: "Oh! Is that the name he goes by here?"

    It turned out that Gregg was better known to every gay person in the world, except me, as Matthew Rush.

    My quandry was whether to uninvite the famous porn star from my party. But, upon reflection, I decided he was still the same sweet, shy, really nice guy he was before...why should it matter in the long run what his occupation was. He and his partner came to the party, were charming and friendly and a really nice addition to the party.

    While having him to the party is not anywhere near the same as dating him, I think I had the same thought processes, and my answer was...his occupation made no difference.


    Sounds like the worlds biggest elephant in one hell of a tiny room.

    I think I'd have a problem leading a normal life, sitting at a desk trying not to be jealous & thinking that my boyfriend is on set with another guy. The idea of sex as work would spoil it for fun

    I'd be too curious not to look at the porn but I know I'd forever suffer from performance anxiety worrying I could never live up to what he has on set

    Also I have parents who I spent 4 years out and out lying to, I couldn't have the I'm dating a porn star conversation, it's hard enough to get my farther to not refer to my boyfriend in disgust and they would eventually find out and if they found out in the wrong way, I'd never be welcome back home...
  • joeindallas

    Posts: 484

    Sep 03, 2008 11:16 PM GMT
    Isn't Matthew Rush's BF also in the Business?
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    Sep 03, 2008 11:27 PM GMT
    i see gay porn stars working out in my gym ... by themselves (i guess they're single) ... or sometimes they workout with their boyfriends ...

    but it seems that they are just any regular gay guys like us ... except of course that they have perfect bodies ...

    and it seems that no one tends to recognize them ... i can't even recognize them maybe because i don't care ... he he ...

    they come inside the gym, do their workout, then they go out ...

    so i guess porn stars are just human beings like us ... it just happens that their jobs are in the porn industry ...

    thats why i said that i will date a porn star ... if i'm single ... well, i guess i'm not insecure ... ha ha ...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2008 11:34 PM GMT
    Probably wouldn't but it depends on the type of porn. (For obvious reasons) icon_confused.gif

    Beyond that, I don't let guys pasts' haunt them anymore than they already do. Life's hard enough...
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    Sep 03, 2008 11:54 PM GMT
    I've dated actors, and you have to know that when they're kissing or having intimate scenes with whoever that it's not the same as when they're with you. Maybe with porn actors it seems like way more of a stretch, since they're having sex with other people, but if I found a guy I liked and he liked me back I would be more than willing to give it a try.
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    Sep 04, 2008 12:04 AM GMT
    I probably would assuming we clicked. So long as they weren't just a pretty body/face and had some substance to them, I think I could date a porn star.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Sep 04, 2008 12:05 AM GMT
    I wouldn't have a problem regarding self-image or jealously regarding a relationship with a porn star.

    What I would have a problem with is thinking about the risk of disease and cross contamination of things like bacteria/fungus/virus/parasites from my partner to me from places like their clients/'actors' mouth, anus, rectum, skin, feet, etc. There is more to worry about than common std's that everyone usually thinks about and there is no such thing as 100% safe sex. Athletes have to think about such things in skin-to-skin contact sports, equipment contanimation for example or in the locker room, how much more so in intimate bodily contact or sexual activity!

    For example, how many people know about E. histolytica? It's a parasite. Did you know that most people who have it don't have any symptoms yet they are contagious? It's like a problem waiting to happen. It can turn into an invasive infection where it attacks the lining of the intestine or worse, breaches it and spreads into other organs of the body (like the liver or brain), sometimes with fatal consequences.

    So do porn stars and escorts get regularly tested for this parasite and with the right tests? It can be confused with another intestinal parasite that does not cause invasive infections.

    My guess is they don't. People in open relationships probably don't either which isn't much different than dating a porn star or escort service person from a biological point of view.
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    Sep 04, 2008 12:12 AM GMT
    Anto saidI wouldn't have a problem regarding self-image or jealously regarding a relationship with a porn star.

    What I would have a problem with is thinking about the risk of disease and cross contamination of things like bacteria/fungus/virus/parasites from my partner to me from places like their clients/'actors' mouth, anus, rectum, skin, feet, etc. There is more to worry about than common std's that everyone usually thinks about and there is no such thing as 100% safe sex. Athletes have to think about such things in skin-to-skin contact sports, equipment contanimation for example or in the locker room, how much more so in intimate bodily contact or sexual activity!

    For example, how many people know about E. histolytica? It's a parasite. Did you know that most people who have it don't have any symptoms yet they are contagious? It's like a problem waiting to happen. It can turn into an invasive infection where it attacks the lining of the intestine or worse, breaches it and spreads into other organs of the body (like the liver or brain), sometimes with fatal consequences.

    So do porn stars and escorts get regularly tested for this parasite and with the right tests? It can be confused with another intestinal parasite that does not cause invasive infections.

    My guess is they don't. People in open relationships probably don't either which isn't much different than dating a porn star or escort service person from a biological point of view.


    You, my friend have seen far too 60 minute special reportsicon_confused.gif
  • Fiveldsp

    Posts: 99

    Sep 04, 2008 12:28 AM GMT
    joeindallas saidIsn't Matthew Rush's BF also in the Business?


    Gregg (Matthew Rush) was dating a Bowling Green State University (Ohio) cheerleader named Jim, who also did porn for Falcon under the name of Tyler Gunn.

    As far as the whole topic goes, i can throw some insight from the other side for you. When I was 19, I paid for my college by doing porn videos for Citiboyz Video under the name of Ethan Masters. I did 7 videos for them in 4 years. It wasn't my life, it didn't change me in a negative way, if nothing else, it opened my eyes to the world outside of the cornfields of Ohio. I have traveled the world for conventions and shoots and have met some absolutely amazing people, who have the same interests, personalities, likes, and desires as anyone with any other hobby or profession.

    As someone who used to do porn, I can't even count how many times I have been turned down as a dating prospective because of my history in porn. People used to label me as a slut, whore, tramp, etc because of the job I used to have. But in all reality, that is all it is... a job. When you are on the scene of a video shoot, it is not sex, it is a designed setup with actors performing a sequence of events for a job. Every few seconds there is a shift in lighting, angle, position, etc. Your entire focus is on where the camera is as to not block the shot, and all secondary focus goes into realism of the scene. Hell, we even stopped from time to time to have a cigarette break or grab a drink. The average action scene in porn is anywhere from 10 minutes to 25 minutes in length on the standard DVD. Many of those take over 4 hours to actually film. We go through the motions and act out the scene, we portray what people want to see. At the end of the shoot, I signed my paperwork, received my check, and went home to my boyfriend who was more than happy to see me, because he knew that he was the one in my heart, the one I loved. Being in porn is certainly not for everyone and dating someone with that on their file is not for everyone either. My current boyfriend had a big deal with it at first until he got to know me. He assumed that I was some sex-crazed pervert that was only interested in getting in his pants. On the contrary when he got to know me, he learned that I had several degrees, played several musical instruments, ran 3 different youth camps, had seen more countries than most people can even pronounce and on top of it all, he learned that I was a very relationship oriented, loving and affectionate guy who wanted nothing more from life than to be happy with the guy I love.

    So the original question of possessing the ability to date a porn star is completely a variable syntax from person to person. I could easily date a porn star because I know that they are coming home to me every night because they want to, not because they are getting a check to. Others can't separate the job from the love and they would be the ones who can't find comfort in accepting their past or even present.

    By the way, 90% of the models you find in the adult industry are very easy going, real, genuine guys. They are not genetically engineered to fuck for 4 hours without breaking a sweat, they are boys and guys who grew up in houses just like everyone else and loved and laughed and lived their lives just like what some would call the "normal" people. On the downside, with any statistic with a positive side, there are those that bring down the average, and hopefully none of you will have to deal with the drama, games or delusion that any of them would exhibit.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Sep 04, 2008 1:32 AM GMT
    AMT87 saidYou, my friend have seen far too 60 minute special reportsicon_confused.gif


    Why do you say that?
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    Sep 04, 2008 1:43 AM GMT
    joeindallas
    Posts: 411 Sep 03, 2008 7:16 PMQuote Isn't Matthew Rush's BF also in the Business?

    The person Matthew brought to our party was Clayton Lawrence. I don't know if that was his real name or his stage name. He was very attractive, very attentive to Matthew, and an extremely pleasant guest at our party.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2008 5:43 AM GMT
    Then again, there are sleazy porn studios that attract the worst guys. Like Cobra Videos. Barebackers and underage porn, definitely a no-no, especially with little known studios that do not ensure nor care about the health of their models.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryan_Kocis
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    Sep 04, 2008 6:31 AM GMT
    I've a few friends currently who are retired from the porn industry. they live their lives like the rest of us and have learned to invest the earnings they got from that former industry. I am currently dating a person who is in the industry who is a fairly big name. It took me a while to get over the jealousy factor ( 4 months ) but its turning out to be a real gem of a relationship. I do look forward to the future with a history and life with this man but how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time....so one day at a time with him.
    All we ask is that were honest with each other and remember to be kind.