Hook ups. Should I stay or should I go?

  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 09, 2007 1:59 PM GMT
    Hey guys, I was just curious about something here. I can remember back to my single days when I would hookup with guys when I was alone and horny. The things is sometimes I would question my reasoning, which was sometimes questionable at best. Such as going out at 2am to get laid and not leaving any type of clue as to my whereabouts if something should happen to me. Or having a guy over to my apartment I knew nothing about. Granted most of my hooks went well and were fun for the most part. But there were times when my gut said get the hell out of here or this guy doesn't need to be in your apartment. I have found that "gut" feeling to be essential to survival, gay or straight. I think sometimes as gay men we become so lonely and horny sometimes that it becomes a dangerous mix. Add alcohol and other goodies to the mix and well you know the rest. I'm not a drinker or a drug user but the urge to "hook up" can be so over powering sometimes that it clouds your better judgement. My best advice guys, always follow your gut when hooking up. What are your thoughts guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2007 3:24 PM GMT
    Cityguy:

    You're not single. You're thinking about impulsive behavior, random hookups, safety, sex/substance addiction, immediate gratification...

    What are you asking?! Please focus your topic/question. Thanks bro!


  • Mar 09, 2007 3:28 PM GMT
    The question seems a bit vague, not sure about which point you are not comfortable with but what you have said is the way most gay guys are at some point in their lives....All you gotta do is be savvy and careful xxx
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    Mar 09, 2007 5:02 PM GMT
    This brings to mind what Douglas Coupland called the "Doctrine of Mutually Assured Disposability."

    Whether it's a "hookup" or a date that turns out not to lead anywhere that you want to go, it seems unsafe to bring someone too close too soon. It is somewhat disturbing that we are dating a pool of people who we consider to be potentially dangerous. Still, I have had both random gay guys and college-educated women who ended up getting a bit "stalker-ish." The risk of unwanted entanglements is just part of life, I guess.

    There seems to be a whole spectrum of responses to the risk. At the extreme end are the guys who communicate only on disposable cell phones and only meet anonymously at pay-by-the-hour sex clubs. I guess that's "emotionally safe" sex. (But certainly not safe, disease-wise.) The opposite end would be bringing random strangers into your home. I'm somewhere in the middle, I guess.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 10, 2007 3:04 AM GMT
    Sorry guy if I confused you all. I was asking the question how you all felt about hooking up. I don't hookup now, I'm a relationship. I was recounting past behaviors were I was concerned.
  • minihunk

    Posts: 21

    Mar 10, 2007 4:11 AM GMT
    If your text can be perceived as a question about is it better to received at home the "hook-up" or better to go at the "hook-up" home ... lol... my opinion is to go at the hook-up place...because if something turn un-pleasant i just have myself to check and go out of this place.... seem more easy to do than putting a crazy "hook-up" out of my place and far from my possession...
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    Mar 10, 2007 4:56 AM GMT
    Any time you follow or bring a stranger home, you are taking a risk. If you go to his place, you might find a surprise or two lying in wait in an unfamiliar place. If he comes to your place, he knows where you live plus some other information about you. Unfortunately, love hotels and bathhouses are relatively rare; otherwise they would be great locations for hookups.

    You just have to be alert, i.e. bad idea to be drunk or high. If it doesn't feel right, abort the hookup.

  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Mar 10, 2007 2:07 PM GMT
    I should have given more thought to the title of the thread. "Should I stay or should I go" was part of the general question to everyone about hookups. I am not asking should I myself go or stay. I just wanted hear some feedback and opinons on peoples thoughts about hooking up in general. I'm not asking for any advice guys. Again I'm sorry if the wording of my title confused you all.

    Doug

  • Mar 22, 2007 3:52 AM GMT
    I've never ever hooked up with a stranger and I have always had a roommate,but, there are reasons for never hooking up with strangers~I'm too scared because I have no idea what could or would happen.
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    Mar 09, 2013 7:54 AM GMT
    I've only hooked up in hotel rooms, and a few times in college dorms. I;d never bring a stranger home, would NOT want them knowing where I live.
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    Mar 09, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
    Well i think there are quite a few gay men including myself who did things back in their younger days that they regret now.

    ..NOW...I would dread the idea of going to some strangers house for sex..drunk or not...
    ...Maybe i should get Skype huh??

    ..A paper bag over my head and i'd be a STUDD !!

    Yeah Baby.. icon_biggrin.gif