Oct 31, 2012 7:23 PM GMT
GAMRican saidOP: Not really answering your question. And, not really addressing this to the guy above. This is more of a share with the community on a very important topic: Safe, Sane, Consensual SM play.
I espouse hot, horny, "Safe, Sane, Consensual SM play". If play fails to be Safe, Sane, or Consensual, the scene has crossed into the realm of being unsafe, insane, and/or non-consensual.
"Green", "Yellow", and "Red". These are three favored spoken "safewords". I will explicate upon non-verbal safewords after discussing "Red", "Yellow", and "Green".
"Green" is a useful "safeword" for when the dominant asks the submissive, "How are you doing?" "Green" is a way for the dominant to determine if the submissive is still coherent, enjoying the play, and therefore consenting.
"Yellow" is also a useful "safeword" for when the dominant asks the submissive, "How are you doing?" "Yellow" is an indication that the submissive is "on the edge" of their physical, mental, or emotional capacity to handle the tenor of play. "Yellow" may also be called out by the submissive if the dominant has not yet asked "How are you doing?", and the submissive is "on the edge" of their physical, mental, or emotional capacity to hand the tenor of the play. The submissive may do this in order to communicate to the dominant so as to avoid "Red".
When "Red" is stated by either the dominant or submissive...the scene immediately comes to a stop. Safe, Sane, and Consensual play has now come into question and the scene is halted. Intimate conversation regarding the physical, mental, and emotional condition of the person calling out "Red" should immediately begin to address the issue. The scene could restart, however, as a former Safe, Sane, Consensual SM player, generally, I will not restart a scene after "Red" has been called. Dominants may call "Red" for any number of reasons. However, dominants should be in complete control of the scene and should unwind the energy exchange in a manner which demonstrates mastery, professionalism, and artistry.
Submissives who call "Red" too frequently may be attempting to "control from the bottom". These submissives ruin their own reputations as credible players and may have challenges attracting the attention of the finest dominants.
Dominants who do not respect submissives' limits may also ruin their reputations as Safe, Sane, Consensual players and may have challenges attracting the finest submissives. These dominants may also find themselves in under legal scrutiny for assault, rape, or even manslaughter/murder.
In my own experience, I have never had to call "Red". I have been fortunate to have had sadistic dominants who were trustworthy and masters of their art and science. Also, none of my submissives have ever had to call "Red". I am a very empathetic dominant and trusting submissive. I know both ends of the energy exchange well. And, it IS a life changing energy exchange when orchestrated and performed well.
There are times when non-verbal safewords are necessary. These situations occur when the submissive is gagged, masked, encased, mummified, or otherwise unable to voice a traditional safeword. In these cases, the "safeword" might include the "clutching of a ball" or other item which when released indicates the equivalent to voicing "Red". In these cases, it is even more important for the dominant to be "in touch" with the physical, mental, and emotional state of the submissive. None of my submissives have ever had to "drop the ball" and end a scene.
In all cases, the dominant is absolutely accountable and responsible for the safety, sanity, and consensuality of the scene.
Safe, Sane, Consensual SM play is all about "trust". Safe, Sane, Consensual SM play brings the players into scenes which touch on taboo, potentially dangerous activities, and highly controversial and emotionally charged roles. When engaged within a framework of safety and good practice, Safe, Sane, Consensual SM play can build character, serve as catharsis, be a heck of a lot of fun and sexy/horny like nothing else.
There is no place for sloppy dominants.
Highly suggested reading for both novice and experienced player is:
"SM 101: A Realistic Introduction" by Jay Wiseman
Enjoy...if you dare.
Hothouse saidI'd like to schedule a personal training session with GAMRican. Please, I mean, GREEN....
Roguewave saidGo^^^ That's not a very good safe word.
GAMRican saidYou need to rearrange the first two words of your post.Hothouse saidI'd like to schedule a personal training session with GAMRican. Please, I mean, GREEN....
Come. My dungeon books up quickly.
paulflexes saidGAMRican saidYou need to rearrange the first two words of your post.Hothouse saidI'd like to schedule a personal training session with GAMRican. Please, I mean, GREEN....
Come.My cum-dungeon books up quickly.
GAMRican saidpaulflexes saidGAMRican saidYou need to rearrange the first two words of your post.
Come.My cum-dungeon books up quickly.