The ol' ball and chain

  • MarkX

    Posts: 101

    Mar 09, 2007 4:45 PM GMT
    Okay, six years ago, I was happy and proud to introduce him as my boyfriend. But now that we've been living together for 4.5 years, and we've moved cross country together twice, not to mention we're pushing 40, the term 'boyfriend' seems a tad casual.

    We've been saying 'partner', but seems far too businesslike. And when I talk about past business partners, I suddenly get to urge to clarify lest people think I'm speaking of ex-boyfriends.

    Of course, there's 'significant other', which is a P.C. mouthful (and not in the good way).

    And though I feel he completes me, 'other half' seems an odd way to introduce him.

    I'd love to call him a 'husband', but that refers to a specific institution that currently insists on disincluding us. (Though admittedly, if we were in the City rather than the Sticks, I'd use the term regardless.)

    Clearly, we need to coin a new term to acnowledge the sanctity of our 'life partnerships' (which strikes me as being a bit clinical).

    So, has anyone out there come up with a new turn-of-phrase to describe his long-term committed butt-buddy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2007 5:18 PM GMT
    Yeah, I never know what it means anymore, when someone introduces their "partner." I've heard a few people use "life-partner" and "business-partner," to make the distinction. It sounds a bit stilted, but it sure clarifies things upon initial introduction.

    This isn't just a problem for gays, either. There are lot's of "straight" people out here in the hills who spend part or all of their lives together but don't get married. Especially if there are no kids. (I always felt a bit awkward referring to my "sister-in-common-law." I think those two finally got married just because of the confusion.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2007 6:44 PM GMT
    I agree-
    We've been together 4 years and "boyfriend" seems, well, silly and "life-partner" sounds borderline-pompous-clinical. For all intents and purposes, he is my husband; we've bought property together and are about to move to another state! We definitely need a new term.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 10, 2007 4:34 AM GMT
    I'd stick with 'boyfriend' even if the term can mean varying levels of commitment. It doesn't matter; I don't think we need another term. People who know me would know how serious I am about a particular relationship. People who don't... well, they don't need to know the details anyway.
  • MisterT

    Posts: 1272

    Mar 10, 2007 5:01 AM GMT
    With my ex that I was living with for 3.5 years we used "partner" usually, and sometimes "boyfriend". Then depending on situation, "room-mate" was the term of choice. Looking back, I think "Old Ball and Chain" was most correct both ways for both of us, at least it was mutual, lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2007 2:09 PM GMT
    partner sounds to vague to me. doesn't help describe the relationship too well.

    how bout "my man" or "sugar booger"? lol joking

    lover doesn't sound appropriate either....

    stick with boyfriend

    tough one this is
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2007 3:06 PM GMT
    "Significant Bother" works.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2007 3:10 PM GMT
    ...or perhaps, depending on mood: 'Occasionally Significant Other' or 'Somewhat Significant Other'?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 19, 2007 3:18 PM GMT
    LOL....Exactly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2007 6:18 AM GMT
    I use the word companion.It fits the best from me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2007 7:17 PM GMT
    It's hokey I know, but I seem to be using the term "my guy" for lack of something better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2007 10:00 PM GMT
    Guys...we're making a mountain out of a mole hill here.
    We are all assuming that we HAVE TO use a label again, when it comes to making introductions...why?

    When my 'BF' and I are out and about and bump into people we know and introduce the other, we simply introduce each other as Mike or Ryan. Why the pressure to let everyone else know that we are partners/husbands/partners etc...? They can clearly see that we are together, and let's face it, the most important thing is that YOU and HIM know what you are to each other. Why the need to search for names for others to perceive you better? Is it really anyone's business?

    So the next time, just introduce your 'loved' one by his name. After all, that is EVERYTHING he is and should be.

  • hotversguy

    Posts: 155

    Apr 06, 2007 6:12 AM GMT
    you could call him by his name. i think most people can figure it our from there. the question is can you?
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Apr 06, 2007 2:24 PM GMT
    I prefer 'spouse'. It's clear that he's more than your boyfriend, doesn't sound businesslike, and doesn't mean married.