Random question: Is this normal?

  • cavecanem10

    Posts: 70

    Nov 04, 2012 1:45 AM GMT
    So I have a college friend who has had a pretty rough dating history over the past couple years. A couple days ago we were out along with my bf. My friend happened to be pretty drunk towards the end of the night and shortly after my bf brought over some drinks, my friend asked him for a kiss.

    At first I was outraged, but then after cooling off a bit, I chalked it up to my friend was super drunk and my bf didn't really know what to do and just did it anyway. I don't question his trust, but I was still blown away that it even happened. It was a little quick peck on the lips, but I still took high offense to it up front.

    What are your thoughts? Do you do that in your circle of gay friends?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 3:16 AM GMT
    I don't have a circle of gay friends (nor do I know what is appropriate) but I don't blame your friend for bringing it up since he was obviously drunk and curious.

    But, I think your bf should have asked you if it was okay first. It obviously meant nothing so I wouldn't worry about it. Just let him know for future reference, you would prefer if he didn't kiss anyone on the lips (unless you were okay with it)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    Being gay is all about inventing your own family/tribe/rules. Some people wouldn't blink if it was a blow job. You just need to talk about it and decide what your boundaries and connections should be. Then just tell your friends if it comes up. They'll be cool with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 6:12 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidBeing gay is all about inventing your own family/tribe/rules. Some people wouldn't blink if it was a blow job. You just need to talk about it and decide what your boundaries and connections should be. Then just tell your friends if it comes up. They'll be cool with it.


    RIGHT!!!!! ESPECIALLY: "Some people wouldn't blink if it was a blow job."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Pontifex

    Posts: 1882

    Nov 04, 2012 6:42 AM GMT
    I greet some of my friends with a hug and kiss every time I see them. An innocent little kiss is just another way of showing affection to your friends.
  • jwand09

    Posts: 91

    Nov 04, 2012 6:56 AM GMT
    hell naw....drunk/friend or not u dont touch my man unless its me....ur not my friend if ur trying to play with nots yours....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 11:20 AM GMT
    i have to agree. within my circle of friends its normal. hell. i often end up in my friends bed making out with him, spooning. and its totally accepted by his bf who joins us sometimes. i am not in a relationship and i tell guys, we discuss things and draw lines as we go bc certain things im ok with and others im not depending on the stage of the relationship. just talk it out. decide whats ok for you guys. IMO if he just gave him a peck without thinking and never gave it a second thought it didnt mean anything, he probably figured he was so drunk he wouldnt even remember asking for a kiss let alone getting one.

    EDIT: 75% of my friends are gay men, and about 24% are straight men lol. its even normal for my straight and gay friends to make out together. most of my "fag hags" are dudes who make out w guys when drunk haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 11:27 AM GMT
    You should tell him you didn't like it because he means so much to you. But I don't think you have to worry, if he was thinking of cheating on you he wouldn't do it infront of you...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 12:40 PM GMT
    Yeah, it was wrong of your friend. Doesn't matter how drunk you are - you know better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 1:11 PM GMT


    " It was a little quick peck on the lips, but I still took high offense to it up front."

    It was a mercy peck on the lips for a drunk mutual friend. This is really very tame. icon_wink.gif
    Did you talk to your bf about it later?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 1:20 PM GMT
    "You fall in love with him, and you kiss him on the mouth. Did I not teach you anything?"~~Kit, Pretty Woman
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 04, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    " It was a little quick peck on the lips, but I still took high offense to it up front."

    It was a mercy peck on the lips for a drunk mutual friend. This is really very tame. icon_wink.gif
    Did you talk to your bf about it later?



    I totally agree. It could very likely have been a "uhhhhh....this is awkward....you're really drunk....I'm just going to kiss you to get you to shut up...." kind of kiss. But, regardless, talk with him about it so you guys know what you are each comfortable with.
  • cavecanem10

    Posts: 70

    Nov 05, 2012 5:20 AM GMT
    Thanks for the varying responses. Yeah I'm kind of pissed at my friend because I'm not sure if it was a dig at me because he hasn't had a solid bf in a while, or what, but he was very intoxicated. Not sure that's worth getting into because I don't see him much anyway.

    Me and the bf talked immediately afterwards. I totally blew up, and I told him how that really frustrated me. I later apologized about blowing up too because I was out of line (took it a little too far). I knew he wouldn't do that (especially not in front of me), and I trust him a ton.

    Interesting to note the differing responses though in how gays interact.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Nov 11, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    cavecanem10 saidThanks for the varying responses. Yeah ...Interesting to note the differing responses though in how gays interact.


    Okay my morning rant: how gays interact?!?!? Like we're fucking meercats on a Nat Geo special? These are human responses from men, not any different from how straights intract (roll eyes)
    JesusH dude, drunks have been flirting with spouses since the first bar opened and I'm betting it wasnt a gay bar.
    How gays interact...fucking ghettoized bullshit.... (mumble mumble grouse scratch stomp...)
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Nov 11, 2012 2:06 PM GMT
    a quick, drunken peck on the lips and you're all torqued up over this?

    SERIOUS control & immaturity issues goin' on here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 11, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    I don't have a lot of gay friends but usually nothing like this happens
  • cavecanem10

    Posts: 70

    Nov 13, 2012 6:42 AM GMT
    MuscleComeBack said

    Okay my morning rant: how gays interact?!?!?


    Did not mean to offend, obviously... and yes, I like having control, but I'm trying to ease up.