Crush on the "straight" guy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    So, I have this friend that I have worked with for almost 3 years now. We have been friends ever since. During the 1st year of our friendship he was in a relationship with a girl until she finally broke it off. He moved to my town and we began hanging out a lot more. We are drinking buddies, so one night, we went out drinking and then went back to his place after the bars closed to have some more drinks and hang out. Well once everyone left, he said I can just stay with him. So we both go into his room and lay down like we are going to sleep and then he slips his hand down my pants. I do the same then we fool around for a bit then end up having sex. He wakes up the next morning and says stuff like that can't happen. He still wants to be my friend and doesn't want to complicate anything. He said that he went thru the time in college where he thought he was bi and stuff but said that he wasn't. (Keep in mind - he is 11 years older than me). So, after our talk, I went home and then we both went to work later that day and he was acting completely normal. Well a couple months later, we got in a fight and stopped being friends for about 6 months. We talked cuz we worked together, but didn't hang out/text/anything.

    So recently, within I would say the last 6 months, we started hanging out and talking/texting ALL the time again. He acts straight around everyone and when we all go out as a group, he tries getting with girls and stuff. Idk if he is doing this to make me jealous or what? But anyway - about a month ago, we had another get together at his house and I ended up sleeping in his bed with him again. We started cuddling and getting touchy and I ended up giving him a blow job. Then we fell back asleep and cuddled all night long. The next morning we woke up and he was being super nice to me. He takes me home. As soon as he drops me off, he starts texting me saying how much fun he had...blah blah blah. We just go on as if nothing ever happened.

    Well last night, we were supposed to go to a game together and he said he was too tired, so he didn't go. One of our friends text me and told me to come out later that night and he was there. I acted a little pissed cuz he ditched me earlier but was then there. He came up to me at the bar in a corner and said how sorry he was that he didn't come to the game and how he promises we will do something together soon. Trying to get back on my good side lol. Well all that night he was touching the girls and going outside with them, acting like im not even there.

    I guess my questions is what do I do? He claims he is "straight", but he is talking to me, calling me, texting me (middle of the night all the time), flirting with me. I REALLY do like him a lot and I think he feels the same way but is scared or something. I'm not out at all, but of course he knows lol. I just don't know what to do. He makes me so mad and jealous all the time, but then I fall right back for him the second he texts me being all nice.

    Any advice?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 04, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    Find yourself a new boyfriend ... preferably a gay one
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    Nov 04, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    Reminds me of a Celine Dion song, "I Want You To Need Me"... still not gay enough!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    I see three option:

    1.He sees it as a bromance. Thinks you are better than friends, but still wants to be in a relationship. Take it as that, move on with your life

    2. He may like you, but doesn't know what to do. Try getting a bf, or saying you got a bf, and see how he reacts/takes it.

    3. Even he doesn't know what he feels.

    If I were you, I would continue being friends with him but if you meet a great guy go for it. You could try confronting him but I honestly don't think you'll get an answer. And I wouldn't expect much from him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    Just get him drunk, and then see where it goes from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 4:00 AM GMT
    Your profile picture looks like those ugly kids on the front cover of my high school textbooks.

    TL;DR btw, and lol to those who respond sincerely. Bless your naive hearts.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 04, 2012 4:37 AM GMT
    xrichx saidJust get him drunk, and then see where it goes from there.

    Didn' t you read the story ... they did get drunk and did it twice, like 6 months apart and both times the straight guy got all guilt ridden because he can't deal with being queer. It the guy had any deeper feelings for the OP then he would actually be okay with the relationship but would probably want to have a relationship on the down low. But obviously, he doesn't really have any feelings, at least not relationship wise for the OP. So the OP would be wasting his time and life away waiting for him to come out. And even if he does turn out to be gay, the OP is not the one, so it is unlikely to last. Hey, it could be worse, at least he got to spend some time with him, but the OP needs someone how is going to show him what love is and that is going to reciprocate his love.
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    Nov 04, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    stwguy8044 saidSo, I have this friend....



    Lol, I am so ready for this story!! #popcornout

    edit:

    yeah go with this

    Find yourself a new boyfriend ... preferably a gay one
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    If you don't want to live on the 'DL' for the rest of your life, go try to climb a different mountain.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Nov 04, 2012 6:02 AM GMT
    u guys live in OK if it wasn't you he's bang a farm animal. Get yourself a b/f because it sounds like what you really want.icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 6:02 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    xrichx saidJust get him drunk, and then see where it goes from there.

    Didn' t you read the story ... they did get drunk and did it twice, like 6 months apart and both times the straight guy got all guilt ridden because he can't deal with being queer. It the guy had any deeper feelings for the OP then he would actually be okay with the relationship but would probably want to have a relationship on the down low. But obviously, he doesn't really have any feelings, at least not relationship wise for the OP. So the OP would be wasting his time and life away waiting for him to come out. And even if he does turn out to be gay, the OP is not the one, so it is unlikely to last. Hey, it could be worse, at least he got to spend some time with him, but the OP needs someone how is going to show him what love is and that is going to reciprocate his love.


    +1
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    Nov 04, 2012 6:03 AM GMT
    JR_RJ saidReminds me of a Celine Dion song, "I Want You To Need Me"... still not gay enough!


    24.gif
  • demasi

    Posts: 76

    Nov 04, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    Sorry but you are a booty call.

    When he can't get a girl, he knows that if he wants his dick sucked your good for it.

    Find a guy that actually wants to be with you
    rather than one that just uses you when it's convenient for him.
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    Nov 04, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    stwguy8044 said

    Any advice?


    do wait for those words meninlove has to say...icon_smile.gif
  • unhooligan

    Posts: 92

    Nov 04, 2012 6:12 AM GMT
    I read the first sentence and somehow knew the story. lol is that horrible?
    College is fucking deja vu
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 04, 2012 6:19 AM GMT
    Cool, you've got a straight guy friend who's okay with you. Sure, you've fooled around in the past. But realize that things are at an apex. Be happy with what you've got, and cherish it. It isnot going to ever be more than it is, so you need to move on.

    Dwelling on this is only going to hurt you and confuse him. Do both of you a favour and stop pursuing this further.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Nov 04, 2012 6:20 AM GMT
    demasiadobueno saidSorry but you are a booty call.

    When he can't get a girl, he knows that if he wants his dick sucked your good for it.

    Find a guy that actually wants to be with you
    rather than one that just uses you when it's convenient for him.


    +10icon_idea.gificon_idea.gificon_idea.gif
  • chris_hasting...

    Posts: 197

    Nov 04, 2012 6:23 AM GMT
    reminds me of a guy i knew... was all ffriendly and nice when just with me, but kind off standoffish and overly flirtatious when girls were around or we were out... then at a gay bar he made out with a hundred dudes.... pretty sure he's gay but has a bunch of psychological issues.. so i said fuck it.

    don't waste your time, you should get yourself a guy and tell him... see what happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 7:47 AM GMT
    Take is for what it is, friends with benefits. Do you think he suffers as a victim in your gay relationship? He enjoys it. I give you permission to enjoy him as he enjoys you without you setting yourself up as victim.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 8:05 AM GMT
    don’t be door mat act more like a man dont let him make you do the ruining around , looks like you are dog to a bone show some pride, and if he pisses you off don’t be a daft Gay guy who accepts less of straights just because he accepts you deserve better. Man up .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 12:51 PM GMT
    Write shorter, more concise threads so I have the patience to read them.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Nov 04, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    If a man is older than 22 and still questioning his sexuality to that degree, then there is no hope. Use him for some fun but nothing more.
  • Kagse

    Posts: 261

    Nov 04, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidTake is for what it is, friends with benefits. Do you think he suffers as a victim in your gay relationship? He enjoys it. I give you permission to enjoy him as he enjoys you without you setting yourself up as victim.


    Yep. Until he figures out his sexuality, it's jut gonna be a cycle.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    It sounds like he is at least bi (if not gay & in the closet). I suggest that you move on. There's nothing but heartache in this relationship for you. I think you already realize this, but are hoping that things will miraculously turn around.
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    Nov 04, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    OK, I wasted my time reading that little bit of fiction, shame on me