Help, lonely as hell and need to change that.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    Ive been out to my family for some time now and am a lot more comfortable with myself and being gay. Friends still dont know, but I will tell them if they ask.

    Now ive never had a girlfriend or boyfriend and family and friends can only be there for you so long. Im starting to feel lonely and want someone to invest myself in. I know im young and have a long road ahead of me and chances to meet people. But I want to now, but I have no idea where to meet other guys.

    I just need advice on finding guys and advice to hold me over until I do. Please help
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    Nov 04, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    I was in your same shoes a year ago. And a year later...I'm still single. The trick is that you can't be out looking for it specifically. You just gotta let it come to you. I want to tell you to invest in some activities where you know you're going to meet other gay men but you have to go into it with the right attitude and not just for the sake of meeting someone to date.

    Or if you just want a hookup, Grindr helps. For conversation with other gay men, RealJock is easily the best though. icon_cool.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Nov 04, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    "Or if you just want a hookup, Grindr helps. For conversation with other gay men, RealJock is easily the best though."

    I gotta agree with this. I like this site because I just want to chat and socialize with other gay men without the stress of sexual/romantic tension. This isn't Grindr or Skruff or any of the hookup sites. Just a place for gay men to exchange thoughts, ideas and humor. Heck, I wish gay bars were as fun as this place.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 05, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    if you can't be comfortable being alone you being with someone else won't fix that
  • A_1991

    Posts: 366

    Nov 05, 2012 2:27 AM GMT
    most gay people are lonely and want to a bf lol. Its normal, but you just cant expect it to happen unless you ask someone out. If your not taking initiative then you probably wont fix the problem. What is wrong with being single though?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    You're a goodlooking guy and still young. You may have to move to a big city to meet more gay men. That being said, I totally understand how you feel.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 05, 2012 2:30 AM GMT
    You have problems meeting men? Hmm. I find it helpful to start with, "Hello," and go from there.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Nov 05, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    He's not going to fall out of the sky and land at your feet. Find a couple of places to hang out around people. Civic group, coffeehouse, low key bar, or wherever people have intersts like yours. Don't cook up a lot of expectations, just go with a friendly attitude and keep an eye out for what may happen. If it doesn't work, find another crowd.
  • socalisurfer

    Posts: 68

    Nov 05, 2012 4:06 AM GMT
    IceBuckets saidI was in your same shoes a year ago. And a year later...I'm still single. The trick is that you can't be out looking for it specifically. You just gotta let it come to you. I want to tell you to invest in some activities where you know you're going to meet other gay men but you have to go into it with the right attitude and not just for the sake of meeting someone to date.

    Or if you just want a hookup, Grindr helps. For conversation with other gay men, RealJock is easily the best though. icon_cool.gif


    Pretty much what he said is spot on. You're 19 dude and going through a lot of changes. Are you in school? If you are look into studying abroad for a semester or a year. I spent over a year in Europe while I was in college and had the time of my life. You'll meet new people, see amazing places. If you're not in school, I'd seriously think about going.

    If you want to take some time off go for it. Maybe have a plan or a short term goal like going to Europe for next summer. Work save up some cash and next summer take a few weeks off and travel. If you can't find a friend to go with go by yourself. You'll meet so many people. Do you know how many people would want to be able to take off for a month or two and just wander around Europe or somewhere else. Some of my friends can only take at most a week off work and they still have to be checking their emails or phones daily. That aint a vacation. You're young and cute, sometimes you need to get a little ballsy, take a few risks and get out of your comfort zone.

    Pick up a hobby or get into a sports league. Here we have a gay dodgeball league, so much fun and you meet amazing people.

    I get lonely sometimes and I'm like f&^k how am I gonna meet someone. When I get that away I try to get up and do something, anything...just to get out of that mindset. I also read this quote from Mark Twain :

    “Life is short, Break the Rules.
    Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY.
    Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably
    And never regret ANYTHING
    That makes you smile.”

    Hope this helps ya.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    if your looking for someone it invest yourself in...invest yourself in you.