How can I read him?

  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Nov 07, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    Okay well I don't want to make this super long so I won't if you want details ask. So I am seeing this guy who is absolutely amazing and ironic because he is everything I swore I would never date (blond hair blue eyes, I'm not racist I have always not liked how blonds are idolized and dark features have always been set asside) but he has pretty much enfatuated me. I see him every other day regardless of the fact I work doubles daily but so does he. We started off as just casual sex but is has gradually become so much more, he does these little romantic things that make me melt and he always is sad for me to leave but maybe I have invested in it so much I fail to realize if he is but I want to be more he wants to as well but he wants to get over his ex completely before getting back into a commitment as he doesn't want me to be a rebound but he did tell me he really likes me and he shows it. basically we are together.but my question is how do I know when to ask him again to be my bf or should I even?
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Nov 07, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    Not that I'm a veteran in love, but I would say to ask him during a romantic moment. At the very least, he knows what you want, whether he wants that too or not.
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    Nov 07, 2012 3:50 PM GMT
    i would wait for him to tell you that he's ready
    i mean definitely you can't wait FOREVER but give him some time and dont pressure him with the whole relationship tag
    just continue having fun with him and you'll see it will continue to gradually become SO intense that he'l have no choice icon_smile.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 07, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    So basically, you want the relationship to move faster and he wants to hold back a bit so he can catch his breath from the last one.

    You have a bit of dilemma here. If you push to fast to often, he is going to push away and you are going to loose him. He may want more space and eventually drift away from you.

    Sometimes we find ourselves jumping into every new relationship and trying to make it the next permanent one, then later the problems arise once the honeymoon is over.

    Bottom line is real relationships will last a lifetime, but they take time to build up to that life time. They are a day-by-day love affair without the thought of tomorrow. What we have, we have for today and we make today the best day we possibly can so that we will look forward to tomorrow. If you make tomorrow dreaded then you will look for something else that will not make tomorrow a dread.
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    Nov 07, 2012 4:31 PM GMT
    fucking amoonhawk...thought; 'one day at a time,' myself after reading.

    what the guy above me said.

    So wonderful when a guy, you'd never thought you'd be attracted to rocks your world--go with it, because it can only enlighten, no matter the outcome.
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    Nov 07, 2012 5:28 PM GMT
    You could bring it up.
    Let him know that he means a lot to you. You know that he's getting over his ex, and that you'd like to be bfs when he's ready.
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Nov 08, 2012 12:24 AM GMT
    Thank you guys so much for your replies. Your words are truly encouraging. I am trying to be pasient as I do not want to screw it up with him. As I am the type to rush things and it never works out for me. Though it does take alot of me yet like I said he always does something that passifies my insecurity. Or maybe it's just I can spend so much time with him but soon as I leave I miss him icon_razz.gif Anyways, he's worth the wait but like you said I can't wait forever. I will ask him again just waiting for the right moment. Not anytime soon though. Thank you guys again!!
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Nov 08, 2012 12:24 AM GMT
    Thank you guys so much for your replies. Your words are truly encouraging. I am trying to be pasient as I do not want to screw it up with him. As I am the type to rush things and it never works out for me. Though it does take alot of me yet like I said he always does something that passifies my insecurity. Or maybe it's just I can spend so much time with him but soon as I leave I miss him icon_razz.gif Anyways, he's worth the wait but like you said I can't wait forever. I will ask him again just waiting for the right moment. Not anytime soon though. Thank you guys again!!
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    Nov 11, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    Let him set the pace! If you do this it will work out just fine. I was and am going thru a similar situation. I let him initiate contact and set the pace and know what? Things couldn't be better. If he don't feel pushed and clinged on he will come around.

    We are becoming really good friends (first) and lovers (second) and it seems to be working great so far. Let things happen naturally and enjoy eachothers company (leave out "Where is our relationship going as you see it?").

    He will let you know when he is ready to take a bigger step in your relationship.

    Let him deal with his personal issues in his own time and just show support and a willingness to be there for him.icon_biggrin.gif

    I know it's tough when you have those feelings for someone. But if you take it at a slower pace like he wants.....you will like him even more and appreciate and be glad you did.
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Nov 12, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    walleyedjack saidLet him set the pace! If you do this it will work out just fine. I was and am going thru a similar situation. I let him initiate contact and set the pace and know what? Things couldn't be better. If he don't feel pushed and clinged on he will come around.

    We are becoming really good friends (first) and lovers (second) and it seems to be working great so far. Let things happen naturally and enjoy eachothers company (leave out "Where is our relationship going as you see it?").

    He will let you know when he is ready to take a bigger step in your relationship.

    Let him deal with his personal issues in his own time and just show support and a willingness to be there for him.icon_biggrin.gif

    I know it's tough when you have those feelings for someone. But if you take it at a slower pace like he wants.....you will like him even more and appreciate and be glad you did.


    Such a hopeful future. icon_biggrin.gif Everyone is telling me that I'm a little clumsy breaking my ways but I'm giving him more space. Thank you, I am being pasient and enjoying seeing him when I can. He's so amazing I can't help but think of him so much. lol