Planning a trip to visit previous hookup

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    Nov 08, 2012 9:17 PM GMT
    char
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    Nov 08, 2012 9:53 PM GMT
    Just a warning before I say anything: I have never been in a relationship and haven't had that much luck in keeping men around but because this isn't me, my logic seems to be in correct working order.

    Anyway. My suggestion would be to run it by him first. If you suddenly show up at his doorstep then it's creepy. If you try to lie and pass it off as "oh I'm just visiting a friend." it's already not a good start to any relationship (even FWB - nobody wants a crazy FWB) and is borderline obsessive that you feel you have to lie. Play it cool but don't lie. And by "run it by him" I mean tell a half serious joke about visiting him. Albeit be honest that you want to see him again and you have a week off...and you're not sure if it's creepy. And when I say "run it by him" I mean CALL him and not text him. With texting, it's harder to get a grasp of what his intent his. Since he can either be "No" or "Yes!" or "umm..okay." If you can skype with him.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Nov 08, 2012 10:01 PM GMT
    IceBuckets saidJust a warning before I say anything: I have never been in a relationship and haven't had that much luck in keeping men around but because this isn't me, my logic seems to be in correct working order.

    Anyway. My suggestion would be to run it by him first. If you suddenly show up at his doorstep then it's creepy. If you try to lie and pass it off as "oh I'm just visiting a friend." it's already not a good start to any relationship (even FWB - nobody wants a crazy FWB) and is borderline obsessive that you feel you have to lie. Play it cool but don't lie. And by "run it by him" I mean tell a half serious joke about visiting him. Albeit be honest that you want to see him again and you have a week off...and you're not sure if it's creepy. And when I say "run it by him" I mean CALL him and not text him. With texting, it's harder to get a grasp of what his intent his. Since he can either be "No" or "Yes!" or "umm..okay." If you can skype with him.


    Take IceBucket's advice, and also if you decide to go, make sure you have a Plan B for things you wanna do in his city, and place to stay in case he flakes out.
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    Nov 08, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    if you hit it off and you think he reciprocates the same feelings you have I don't think it would be weird..If its comfortable between you two I don't see why you would be scared to freak him out..Just be straight up like a man no need to freak out..just don't get too upset if he's not into it..I would say just ask him sooner than later so you stop thinking about it so much and over analyzing. Do what you want. Good luck man.
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    Nov 09, 2012 12:08 AM GMT
    One week???!!!

    It's not crazy to want to visit, but after only a week since he left sounds like there might be a stronger intensity of feeling on your part than his. If you want to see him, just let him know and ask him if wants a visit. If he says yes, than discuss dates that would work. Don't count on christmas, as that is a busy time for lots of people. And don't even THINK of showing without a prior agreement - that would really freak out most guys.
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    Nov 09, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    icon_eek.gif Wait it's only been a week? You sound like some love-sick teenager waiting your entire life to see him again. (Nothing wrong with it, but WOW do you have a way with words)

    So it sounds like you both thought you hit it off.
    My recommendation is to bring it up in a couple of days to two weeks from now. (No longer than that though. You gotta give him time to prepare) Just try it casually, "Hey I'm gonna get some time off, and want to travel, mind showing me around?" If he doesn't mind you coming down, go for it, but if he has a problem, then he should tell you. That way you don't have to spill out your heart to him, but you still get a good feel for how he feels about you.

    You said yourself that you aren't ready for a LTR, and you dont want a LDR. So just stay friends for now, but on really good terms. So if either of you know you are meant for each other, you'll have a good friendship to start from for a LTR.
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    Nov 09, 2012 12:26 AM GMT
    lakeguy1001 said Planning a trip to visit previous hookup
    Who cares?
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    Nov 09, 2012 1:19 AM GMT
    Post was to long, so since I did not read it, all I will say is, learn to edit.
  • NorthChinaLi

    Posts: 241

    Nov 09, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    he's gone only a week.

    next week, u get new fuck and new obsessions.
  • tallguyaz86

    Posts: 1

    Nov 11, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    Yea give it a month or so and see how you feel then. Give it time and if you still feel that way then go see him and be confident about your visit!