Before meeting someone for the first time, do you have a desire to meet right away?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    There's a couple of guys brewing on my radar who I've been chatting with for atleast a week so far from online (I know, I know...real life is better but, it's what I have to work with due to my location).

    But it seems like some guys can't get around to meeting until like days down the road. I think to myself, what's so hard about just getting together with someone and hanging out a bit? I see people hanging out at coffee shops and diners all week long during the work-week, to take a few moments to get together shouldn't be reserved only when someone has the whole day off. Granted, commuting across town tends to cut into that time.

    It just seems difficult to meet people and get a happy hour going during the week, or meet up over coffee or even just have someone to hangout at home and watch movies/cook dinner or something. I know each one tends to have the temptation to becoming lengthier or going further than intended...but still.

    Living alone just begins to feel so isolated when you go to work, go to the gym and then leave with nothing to look forward to. I will admit I had a fun the other weekend out of town meeting a couple of guys, but they were people I've been chatting to since like August or September before we finally met.

    Alot of these guys they just want to text and IM for days and weeks before meeting, and it's usually me having to suggest it. I don't want to do that. It doesn't bring me much satisfaction other than the ringtone on my phone. A few years ago people would talk on the phone and that would hold you atleast until you meet again. It's like nowadays, people have become so afraid of talking on the phone...there's just no connection.
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    Nov 09, 2012 12:54 AM GMT
    I would have to agree with you. I don't understand why people want to push back an initial meet and greet.. unless they're just stringing someone along, which is a douchey thing to do, anyways.
    Some are shy, and wait for the other party to initiate, I get that.
    But still, if you get asked, why wait?
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    Nov 09, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    I meet new people almost every day, whether it be IRL or from the internet.

    I fail to see the big deal in meeting someone.
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    Nov 09, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    It's a bit encouraging for me that this is the new dating stays quo and I am not being singled out personally for abuse. I figure guys can't commit cus they are double and triple booking and I find myself doing that too since I can't get a firm date out of most guys.
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    Nov 09, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidThere's a couple of guys brewing on my radar who I've been chatting with for atleast a week so far from online (I know, I know...real life is better but, it's what I have to work with due to my location).

    But it seems like some guys can't get around to meeting until like days down the road. I think to myself, what's so hard about just getting together with someone and hanging out a bit? I see people hanging out at coffee shops and diners all week long during the work-week, to take a few moments to get together shouldn't be reserved only when someone has the whole day off. Granted, commuting across town tends to cut into that time.

    It just seems difficult to meet people and get a happy hour going during the week, or meet up over coffee or even just have someone to hangout at home and watch movies/cook dinner or something. I know each one tends to have the temptation to becoming lengthier or going further than intended...but still.

    Living alone just begins to feel so isolated when you go to work, go to the gym and then leave with nothing to look forward to. I will admit I had a fun the other weekend out of town meeting a couple of guys, but they were people I've been chatting to since like August or September before we finally met.

    Alot of these guys they just want to text and IM for days and weeks before meeting, and it's usually me having to suggest it. I don't want to do that. It doesn't bring me much satisfaction other than the ringtone on my phone. A few years ago people would talk on the phone and that would hold you atleast until you meet again. It's like nowadays, people have become so afraid of talking on the phone...there's just no connection.


    Thing is, a LOT of men will gladly drive 25 minutes to have 20 minutes of slam-bang-bye sex, but won't drive 12 minutes to meet somewhere halfway between and just chat over drinks/coffee, because it would cut into their TV/porn addiction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 2:00 AM GMT
    Online-to-person, unless it's completely platonic, has an expiration date. Wait too long and the actual meeting will be awkward since you've built a version of this person in your head which will differ from the actual 3-D person.
  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Nov 09, 2012 2:08 AM GMT
    I would like the same. Meet a guy online, meet him in person, go from there... But then again, ive been stood up twice so im a little hesitant to meet any more guys in person without chatting with them for some time. So far, no one has withstood the test of time. :-/
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    Nov 09, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    I have the same dilemma. Usually scare them off because I offer to grab a drink with them for a bit. Sometimes you talk with someone online and then when you meet they turn out completely different. It's just easier to meet right away.

    They don't seem to agree. icon_neutral.gif
  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Nov 09, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    brisk270 saidI have the same dilemma. Usually scare them off because I offer to grab a drink with them for a bit. Sometimes you talk with someone online and then when you meet they turn out completely different. It's just easier to meet right away.

    They don't seem to agree. icon_neutral.gif


    Lets go out for a drink...
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Nov 09, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    I'll be the one you're all complaining about. I'm just a socially awkward person to begin with, so I tend to put off meeting someone because I get so nervous. And I also don't like to just go on date after date with no end in sight. If I go on a date with someone, it's not just to dip my toe in the water, I do it if I'm seriously interested in a relationship with the person. Also, after I'm done with school or work, I look (and feel) like I got hit by a bus, I don't really feel like meeting someone...
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    Nov 09, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    I find it incredibly difficult to read a person without face to face communication. Meeting in person is pretty important to me.

    Although I do understand that it is awkward for some to get over the anxiety to meet. I wouldn't push too hard for a meeting right off the bat. Though it does get discouraging when people seemingly refuse to meet.
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    Nov 09, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    I wait.

    I've had my share of nut jobs, wacko's, weirdo's, freaks and idiots!

    Frankly if your going to push me into something I'm telling you i'm not interested in. Well theres the door (or the block button) use it cause you nor anyone else is that special that you can't be found again in a hundred other different people i'll talk too.

    And if ya don't like that well then tough shit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 6:05 PM GMT
    It's a balancing act.
    You want to build a good rapport and have some good chat before even thinking about meeting the guy. You want it to be someone who's worth your time to break your schedule. Then you need to find a time that works for both of you. If you wait too long, he's just a message buddy and one of you has moved on to some other guy that has some potential.

    If you have to set a time frame, I'd say 2 days to 2 weeks. If he can meet right away you wonder why he doesn't have anything else going on in his life. If you wait too long, it's not going to happen. If you guys have to reschedule too many times, it's most likely not going to happen either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 7:03 PM GMT
    I like to put off meeting people until after we have talked for a few days/weeks. TBH, 90% of the time I'm online I'm just looking to get my rocks off, not for a pen pal. So I would rather bump uglies than go for a drink.

    If we talk for awhile and I end up liking you then I will have no problem with going out for drinks or whatever. But most of the guys I meet online I would want nothing to do with outside of the bedroom. Then again, I never lead people on thinking they have a chance at something more than a hook up.....icon_neutral.gif

    Very few guys get into my cold, cold, heart to allow me to open up....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 7:05 PM GMT
    kevmoran saidI'll be the one you're all complaining about. I'm just a socially awkward person to begin with, so I tend to put off meeting someone because I get so nervous. And I also don't like to just go on date after date with no end in sight. If I go on a date with someone, it's not just to dip my toe in the water, I do it if I'm seriously interested in a relationship with the person. Also, after I'm done with school or work, I look (and feel) like I got hit by a bus, I don't really feel like meeting someone...


    + 453,231,095
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    Trollileo saidI prefer to meet people sooner rather than later. Usually to show them why they won't like me.


    Wat.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    Well, I don't know why it's a problem for you to wait?
    I work 5 days a week, go to the gym on those days and am very structured in my routine and always have something to do (or waiting to be done).
    I guess, for me, meeting a guy from the internet just takes a back seat to everything else. I think it's the same thing for a lot of guys.
    That said, I have met quite a few guys from online (even and RJer or two) and am all for meeting more. It's just not a top priority.
    So don't take it personally is what I say - relax and keep yourself occupied with something else until a guy you're interested in is willing to meet icon_smile.gif
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Nov 09, 2012 7:55 PM GMT
    Personally, going in with no expectations is best. If you're looking for a solid friendship w someone it's best to wait awhile before meeting. Befriend them on facebook, text, etc. And when it comes to online dating, meet up sooner than later.

    Anxiety is inevitable so just be yourself 100% if you're meeting for the first time . They like you, they don't like you. You'll know, trust me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    Not_Superman said
    Trollileo said
    Not_Superman said
    jmusmc85 said

    + 453,231,095

    For a second I thought you were giving him your number...
    On the intrawebz? Eww.

    You can have mine! 867-5309 ;)


    Hahaha.



    I feel old.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2012 9:57 PM GMT
    Yup