Who's your wackiest, craziest, or just most insane relative?

  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Nov 09, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    I have a cousin named Delcan. Great bloke, a bit younger than me, we grew up close as brothers. He's your typical straight man, plays cricket, very handsome.

    Unfortunately he will never live down that day when he was fourteen and me uncle walked into the sheep barn and found him...

    Well let's say that in some corners of Ireland there are a lack on non-related pretty girls and teenage hormones can be a bitch.

    It's been seven years and we still bleat when he enters the room.

    Does anyone else have relations whose true life exploits come out of a bad comedy or television programme?
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    Nov 09, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    My grandmother on my mom's side. She puts newspapers in the fridge, she'll stand at the foot of your bed and watch you sleep, and calls you by the wrong name. She randomly thinks I hate her for not getting me better Christmas presents when I was a kid. I love her to death but she won't believe me :/
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    Nov 09, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    thatirishbastard said Who's your wackiest, craziest, or just most insane relative?
    My only nephew, whom I helped raise. I recently helped him enroll in a very prestigious school just because I want him to be as narcissistic as I am, while maintaining the whacky and crazy nature that I raised him to have...along with a compassion for those who aren't smart enough to be as whacky and crazy and narcissistic as we are. icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 09, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    My family is riddled with crazy folk however my sweet, sweet 5'3", mother whose nickname is Tiny has a reputation for being Queen of the Cuckoos.

    She has:
    -------- Been married six times (I call her an eternal optimist)
    -------- Ran over husband #2 when my sister and I were in the (he was lame he laid in front of the car)
    -------- Stabbed husband #5 (after slashing his tires and leaning a couch that she set on fire up against the hotel room he was sleeping in because she kicked him out because she caught him cheating.)
    -------- Tried to shoot the same husband when she met him at the door with a double barrel shotgun with her name engraved on it. She pulled the trigger what she didn't know is that I had unloaded the gun when she was throwing his clothes on the lawn.
    -------- Stuck an ax through the riding lawn mower when #2 wouldnt give her the keys to the truck that was in the garage
    -------- Drove through the garage door in said truck in a fit of rage (induced by a bad practical joke by husband #2 who liked seeing her upset)

    Thanks to my passionate and sweet mom, I've learned to be totally Zen in the face of turmoil and insanity. I am unswayed by blood, violence, police and can size up a potential situation in moments. I also learned that pussies fight fair, if your angry enough to raise your hand to strike someone it needs a knife and you best not raise it unless your ok seeing the inside of a jail cell. (she was never incarcerated but she did impress upon me the reality of paying for your actions when you act crazy)

    I'm demure in stature just like my mom, but I carry the tenacity and rage of a warrior... just like my sweet, sweet mama. My inner Tiny is a force to be reckoned with. <3 my mom
  • Kagse

    Posts: 261

    Nov 09, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    My dad....love the man to death, but he cannot keep his shit straight....always something with him.
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    Nov 09, 2012 4:49 AM GMT
    One of my aunts sometimes gets herself into the strangest situations. Her life would be a good comedy.

    I also have a cousin who has done some crazy things.

    No members of my family are too bad though.
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    Nov 09, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    My family is dry toast. I'm the weird one, and that's really saying something.
  • Jonno11

    Posts: 181

    Nov 09, 2012 5:11 AM GMT
    Well, between my dad and my Uncle Andy, Im not sure. The funny thing is everyone sees me in them, lol. Not sure how I should take that. My dad is the gayest str8 man Ive ever met. His wife calls him "just gay enough." He loves to party, he loves to go out with his gun and shoot random things in the field, He's had more adventures than him or I can even recall. My uncle Andy is just a big kid, he is a ton of fun to be with, but can be totally irresponsible. The last time I was with him in Vancouver, we were club hopping downtown, and he stopped for pizza and parked in what turned out to be a tow away zone. We came out and his wifes car was gone. He just shrugged his shoulders, and we walked to another bar, then got the cabbie to get us to the impound lot at the end of the night. HAHAHA.
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    Nov 09, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    In my family of over 100 on people, that would be me...

    When I told my cousin I was gay...he laughed and said "Of course you would be, out of the 100+ people in out family, you would have to be the first gay guy"
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Nov 09, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    EasilyDistracted said(snip)
    My inner Tiny is a force to be reckoned with. <3 my mom

    That story is AWESOME!

    I wish my mom had been more like that. All she was ever known for was losing her knitting (usually later found in the refrigerator).

    My dad was the insane one but I stopped the last thread by mentioning that he used me for target practice with his 22 rifle. Hopefully this thread won't meet the same fate. icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 09, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    I have this one particular grand aunt that (bless her soul) still talks as if we are still living in the 1940's ..When I was younger it was all kinds of amusements listening to her. Now that she has gotten on with age, its little bit sad icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 09, 2012 7:58 AM GMT
    I must say my younger brother, for he puts tomato ketchup on anything he eats... anything! icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 09, 2012 10:46 AM GMT
    My older brother Renaldo. He has a hot temper on him and likes to beat up patient on his job if they piss him off. I really wish he'd stop that

    My cousin Angie. She's so full of energy and spirit

    My Mama. She simply tells it likes she sees it lol


    I'm gonna say myself mainly because I have a split personality. I can be shy and sweet and blah blah blah but at the same time. I have a wild, hot grit throwin, mean streak side.




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    Nov 09, 2012 2:03 PM GMT
    You all would've liked me a lot better when I was 12, when I was way bitchier and wrote this short story about my father and his five sisters (names changed, natch, and now in their eighties they're worse than ever). You should only know their backstories - sheesh!

    THE DAY GOD'S CAR DROVE INTO A CANAL

    One otherwise nondescript day a car, with God at the wheel, drove down a grassy bank and plunged into a canal, at which point the six Robeson siblings acted according to their own wont:

    Sonia complained that she had only two bankbooks and one kidney and was too sick to help.

    Maddi banged her head against a tree, said she was too poor to help and that Jesus would save God.

    Adele screamed "Herbie!" but he was too tired from her dragging him to flea markets to do anything.

    Bertha said that she had a house, kids, that this wasn't her God and it'd interrupt her tennis game so why should she help?

    Ned closed his eyes and denied that the car and God existed.

    Natalia, meanwhile, dove into the water, dragged God out onto the slope and began administering CPR.

    And thus the six Robeson siblings acted according to their own wont.
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    Nov 09, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    Umm...wow. after some of these I got nuthin' Is that good or bad? icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 09, 2012 4:35 PM GMT


    "Who's your wackiest, craziest, or just most insane relative?"

    In the next 2 weeks we're going to find out, lol! Relatives are coming out to BC and we'll be hosting some of them. O.o
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    Nov 09, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    My Uncle who recently called the his son - my cousin, one of three children he did not raise himself or pay child support, stupid on his Facebook for everyone to see. He also told him to grow up and act like a man, etc. My cousin in 23 years old. When my uncle was that age he was a raging alcoholic with one child at that point.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 09, 2012 5:08 PM GMT
    My moms family are pretty much all employed by the family company.

    A few years ago, immediately following the death of my grandfather, my uncle took advantage of my grieving grandmother to swindle her out of millions in a buyout that paid him much more than he was worth. He is no longer talked about in my family.
  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Nov 19, 2012 11:34 PM GMT
    TotalTopJock saidMy Uncle who recently called the his son - my cousin, one of three children he did not raise himself or pay child support, stupid on his Facebook for everyone to see. He also told him to grow up and act like a man, etc. My cousin in 23 years old. When my uncle was that age he was a raging alcoholic with one child at that point.


    Lord Amighty, I hope he told him as much, in a witty and clever way.
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    Nov 19, 2012 11:47 PM GMT
    Depends on what degree you're talking and which combinations of words you're using.
  • tturner2099

    Posts: 108

    Nov 20, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    My Nana (67) was banned from a Mexican restaurant for punching a waiter in the face. icon_eek.gif
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    Nov 20, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Unfortunately, me. I'm the wacky relative everyone must look out for in my family.

    True story.
  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Nov 20, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    tturner2099 saidMy Nana (67) was banned from a Mexican restaurant for punching a waiter in the face. icon_eek.gif


    I think I'm in love. Will you introduce me?
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    Nov 20, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    All of my family is normal, I'm the crazy one.
  • tturner2099

    Posts: 108

    Nov 20, 2012 1:23 AM GMT
    thatirishbastard said
    tturner2099 saidMy Nana (67) was banned from a Mexican restaurant for punching a waiter in the face. icon_eek.gif


    I think I'm in love. Will you introduce me?


    It gets better! He hit her back! So I come home from work seeing her at the table with a bloody nose and I asked what happened. "They got my fuckin' food wrong." Lmao.