Getting over exes is so much fun

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2008 11:48 PM GMT
    I hate this. I've just learnt that my ex has been whoring himself around and I'm letting it get to me.

    We broke up in July after about 3 years together and I guess that while I was trying to get over him, he was trying to get under other people.

    This whole thing sucks since it reminds me that even though I don't love him anymore, I'm not completely 'mended' yet. Strange since I was the one that broke up with him.

    And what gets me even more is that I can't see myself with someone yet, be it emotionally or sexually.

    Sucks to be me right now.
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    Sep 05, 2008 11:56 PM GMT
    time heals. Keep your head up. : )
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    Sep 06, 2008 12:24 AM GMT
    # supportive hug .... icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 06, 2008 6:02 AM GMT
    Sorry you're going through a rough patch. If you can - try to think of all the guys you're going to meet in the upcoming years. I know you can't possibly know that yet but it will happen. When I was your age - something similar happened to me - and I thought I'd die - but I didn't - and when I think back on how many great guys I've known since then - I smile all over again. Just think, "NEXT!"
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    Sep 06, 2008 8:48 AM GMT
    Yeah--I'm not sure why this is, but sometimes the one who does the dumping has a harder time moving on than the one who gets dumped. I've always been the dumper, and this last relationship ended a year and a half ago and I'm still not at the point where I want to get back out there.

    Worse, I've started thinking I might be done with the whole business.
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    Sep 06, 2008 4:04 PM GMT


    After being dumped or dumping someone, we tend to go back to the 'people store' and pick up the same model with new and improved stamped all over them. Try something completely different; see what happens.
    Remain, above all, optimistic.

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    Sep 06, 2008 4:14 PM GMT
    man I definitely know how you feel. Just remember though people handle things differently. He might be doing what he is doing to try to get over you to, unfortunately I know that doesn't make you feel better.

    Like the other guys say, time heals all wounds. Give yourself time, go out and have some fun, you dont have to meet anyone or sleep around just go out with friends and "find yourself" again.

    Its never easy...take it slow and it will fall into place. Dont let what hes doing affect you though, thats just making him more unattractive in my book.
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    Sep 06, 2008 4:34 PM GMT
    I know, exes can be the worse. I hate men icon_cry.gif ... But god I love men too icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 06, 2008 4:40 PM GMT
    *sympathy e-hugs*
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    Sep 06, 2008 4:43 PM GMT
    That sucks, but it's also life. You just have to keep on moving. *hug*
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    Sep 06, 2008 4:52 PM GMT
    I'm having trouble getting over a former lover - we still see eachother as friends. But I have strong feelings for him, which I know he doesn't have for me. It's painful hearing about him dating others.

    I've got too much baggage - 2 kids and an pending divorce - I don't think he wants to be in the middle of that. Plus there's a substantial age difference.

    He's the only person I've ever been with that I laid awake at night next to him unable to sleep because I wanted to look at him hoping he might wake up and say something to me or roll over and put his arm around me. It's a bit frightening having these feelings. But since we aren't together - I really wish I could just turn them off.

    I have some really attractive and nice other guys that are interested, but I'm having trouble letting them in. Like Fable says, Time heals. So hopefully it isn't too long and I will be able to say Next!

    Good luck Ghen.

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    Sep 06, 2008 7:24 PM GMT
    jprichva saidYeah--I'm not sure why this is, but sometimes the one who does the dumping has a harder time moving on than the one who gets dumped. I've always been the dumper, and this last relationship ended a year and a half ago and I'm still not at the point where I want to get back out there.

    Worse, I've started thinking I might be done with the whole business.


    Being done with the whole business is not such a bad thing. icon_confused.gif
  • UVaRob9

    Posts: 282

    Sep 06, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    You definitely have my sympathy. Mine ended in May after 4 years. It's tough. It's perfectly fine that you can't see yourself with someone emotionally or sexually. Him whoring himself around so soon after says less about you being easy to get over and more about the kind of person he really was all along. It sounds stupid, but don't take his Promiscuity Olympics events personally. The key to all of this is to surround yourself with supportive friends. Not only will they cheer you up when you're hurting the most, but they'll also be able to keep an eye on you to make sure you're not hurting yourself. Best of luck.
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    Sep 07, 2008 1:12 PM GMT
    I just want to thank everyone for the kind words, changed from my best friend who thought that it was completely normal on his behalf (but then she's never had a relationship over 2 weeks long).

    The news made my head spin, but I think it's helped in the long term.


  • Sep 22, 2008 6:26 PM GMT
    the feeling is mutual my ex just ended our relationship this past wedsenday two days after our one year aniversary and just after moving back home to ks cause he's in colledge in tx I moved up there with from ks to give it a try and hated down there we can be numb together and we will keep our heads up and hope for the best
  • twentyfourhou...

    Posts: 243

    Sep 22, 2008 6:49 PM GMT
    Going on a 1 1/2 years from my own experience, i am still waiting for time to heal my wounds. I rather think that time makes it easier but does not heal - the hurt is still there, just have learned not to dwell on it as much. At this point, i cannot imagine letting myself ever become so trusting and vulnerable again.
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    Sep 22, 2008 6:49 PM GMT
    Ghen saidI hate this. I've just learnt that my ex has been whoring himself around and I'm letting it get to me.

    We broke up in July after about 3 years together and I guess that while I was trying to get over him, he was trying to get under other people.

    This whole thing sucks since it reminds me that even though I don't love him anymore, I'm not completely 'mended' yet. Strange since I was the one that broke up with him.

    And what gets me even more is that I can't see myself with someone yet, be it emotionally or sexually.

    Sucks to be me right now.


    If his reaction is to whore around, then it sounds like he's having a harder time dealing with it than you are.
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    Sep 22, 2008 7:01 PM GMT
    XRuggerATX said

    If his reaction is to whore around, then it sounds like he's having a harder time dealing with it than you are.


    Quoted/repeated for truth.
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    Sep 22, 2008 7:25 PM GMT
    Exes should vaporize the moment they give back the ring.
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    Sep 22, 2008 7:29 PM GMT
    Then what would most gay men talk about?
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    Sep 22, 2008 7:34 PM GMT
    McGay saidThen what would most gay men talk about?


    The wafting vapor lurking in every bar, street corner, and gym.
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    Sep 22, 2008 7:36 PM GMT
    That would have to be str8 people as all the gay men would have vaporized by then. Oh, I think I just got OWs meaning. Duh!
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    Sep 22, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    I still love him, even if he's vapor. Vapor is my bestest friend in the whole world. I just want the vapor to be happy.
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    Sep 22, 2008 8:18 PM GMT
    I whored around after our break-up. It was while playing the whore that my arm flung over the edge of some handyman's bed that my memento ring took to flight. Never found it... vapourized. I was irked -- it had cost a pretty penny -- but then the healing truly began.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Sep 22, 2008 9:00 PM GMT
    Ghen,

    I feel your pain, but as others have said it will subside with time.
    When you are able to date again yourself, try to focus on the good parts of your last relationship and strive to be the good guy again in this new one.