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Getting over exes is so much fun
Ghen Posts: 471	Sep 05, 2008 11:48 PM GMT Quote I hate this. I've just learnt that my ex has been whoring himself around and I'm letting it get to me. We broke up in July after about 3 years together and I guess that while I was trying to get over him, he was trying to get under other people. This whole thing sucks since it reminds me that even though I don't love him anymore, I'm not completely 'mended' yet. Strange since I was the one that broke up with him. And what gets me even more is that I can't see myself with someone yet, be it emotionally or sexually. Sucks to be me right now.

Fable Posts: 359	Sep 05, 2008 11:56 PM GMT Quote time heals. Keep your head up. : )
Stephx Posts: 10	Sep 06, 2008 12:24 AM GMT Quote # supportive hug ....
Jockbod48 Posts: 1488	Sep 06, 2008 6:02 AM GMT Quote Sorry you're going through a rough patch. If you can - try to think of all the guys you're going to meet in the upcoming years. I know you can't possibly know that yet but it will happen. When I was your age - something similar happened to me - and I thought I'd die - but I didn't - and when I think back on how many great guys I've known since then - I smile all over again. Just think, "NEXT!"
Hidden/Deleted Member	Sep 06, 2008 8:48 AM GMT Quote Yeah--I'm not sure why this is, but sometimes the one who does the dumping has a harder time moving on than the one who gets dumped. I've always been the dumper, and this last relationship ended a year and a half ago and I'm still not at the point where I want to get back out there. Worse, I've started thinking I might be done with the whole business.
meninlove Posts: 1164	Sep 06, 2008 4:04 PM GMT Quote After being dumped or dumping someone, we tend to go back to the 'people store' and pick up the same model with new and improved stamped all over them. Try something completely different; see what happens. Remain, above all, optimistic.
Hidden/Deleted Member	Sep 06, 2008 4:14 PM GMT Quote man I definitely know how you feel. Just remember though people handle things differently. He might be doing what he is doing to try to get over you to, unfortunately I know that doesn't make you feel better. Like the other guys say, time heals all wounds. Give yourself time, go out and have some fun, you dont have to meet anyone or sleep around just go out with friends and "find yourself" again. Its never easy...take it slow and it will fall into place. Dont let what hes doing affect you though, thats just making him more unattractive in my book.
metropolitan Posts: 555	Sep 06, 2008 4:34 PM GMT Quote I know, exes can be the worse. I hate men ... But god I love men too
blink777 Posts: 499	Sep 06, 2008 4:40 PM GMT Quote sympathy e-hugs
HighVoltageGu... Posts: 1257	Sep 06, 2008 4:43 PM GMT Quote That sucks, but it's also life. You just have to keep on moving. hug
OHhiker Posts: 438	Sep 06, 2008 4:52 PM GMT Quote I'm having trouble getting over a former lover - we still see eachother as friends. But I have strong feelings for him, which I know he doesn't have for me. It's painful hearing about him dating others. I've got too much baggage - 2 kids and an pending divorce - I don't think he wants to be in the middle of that. Plus there's a substantial age difference. He's the only person I've ever been with that I laid awake at night next to him unable to sleep because I wanted to look at him hoping he might wake up and say something to me or roll over and put his arm around me. It's a bit frightening having these feelings. But since we aren't together - I really wish I could just turn them off. I have some really attractive and nice other guys that are interested, but I'm having trouble letting them in. Like Fable says, Time heals. So hopefully it isn't too long and I will be able to say Next! Good luck Ghen.
BlkMuscleGent Posts: 384	Sep 06, 2008 7:24 PM GMT Quote jprichva saidYeah--I'm not sure why this is, but sometimes the one who does the dumping has a harder time moving on than the one who gets dumped. I've always been the dumper, and this last relationship ended a year and a half ago and I'm still not at the point where I want to get back out there. Worse, I've started thinking I might be done with the whole business. Being done with the whole business is not such a bad thing.
UVaRob9 Posts: 70	Sep 06, 2008 7:38 PM GMT Quote You definitely have my sympathy. Mine ended in May after 4 years. It's tough. It's perfectly fine that you can't see yourself with someone emotionally or sexually. Him whoring himself around so soon after says less about you being easy to get over and more about the kind of person he really was all along. It sounds stupid, but don't take his Promiscuity Olympics events personally. The key to all of this is to surround yourself with supportive friends. Not only will they cheer you up when you're hurting the most, but they'll also be able to keep an eye on you to make sure you're not hurting yourself. Best of luck.
Ghen Posts: 471	Sep 07, 2008 1:12 PM GMT Quote I just want to thank everyone for the kind words, changed from my best friend who thought that it was completely normal on his behalf (but then she's never had a relationship over 2 weeks long). The news made my head spin, but I think it's helped in the long term.
Tikvanaim Posts: 10	Sep 22, 2008 6:26 PM GMT Quote the feeling is mutual my ex just ended our relationship this past wedsenday two days after our one year aniversary and just after moving back home to ks cause he's in colledge in tx I moved up there with from ks to give it a try and hated down there we can be numb together and we will keep our heads up and hope for the best
twentyfourhou... Posts: 74	Sep 22, 2008 6:49 PM GMT Quote Going on a 1 1/2 years from my own experience, i am still waiting for time to heal my wounds. I rather think that time makes it easier but does not heal - the hurt is still there, just have learned not to dwell on it as much. At this point, i cannot imagine letting myself ever become so trusting and vulnerable again.
XRuggerATX Posts: 2803	Sep 22, 2008 6:49 PM GMT Quote Ghen saidI hate this. I've just learnt that my ex has been whoring himself around and I'm letting it get to me. We broke up in July after about 3 years together and I guess that while I was trying to get over him, he was trying to get under other people. This whole thing sucks since it reminds me that even though I don't love him anymore, I'm not completely 'mended' yet. Strange since I was the one that broke up with him. And what gets me even more is that I can't see myself with someone yet, be it emotionally or sexually. Sucks to be me right now. If his reaction is to whore around, then it sounds like he's having a harder time dealing with it than you are.
RunintheCity Posts: 1455	Sep 22, 2008 7:01 PM GMT Quote XRuggerATX said If his reaction is to whore around, then it sounds like he's having a harder time dealing with it than you are. Quoted/repeated for truth.
ObsceneWish Posts: 3364	Sep 22, 2008 7:25 PM GMT Quote Exes should vaporize the moment they give back the ring.
McGay Posts: 3179	Sep 22, 2008 7:29 PM GMT Quote Then what would most gay men talk about?
MunchingZombi... Posts: 2095	Sep 22, 2008 7:34 PM GMT Quote McGay saidThen what would most gay men talk about? The wafting vapor lurking in every bar, street corner, and gym.
McGay Posts: 3179	Sep 22, 2008 7:36 PM GMT Quote That would have to be str8 people as all the gay men would have vaporized by then. Oh, I think I just got OWs meaning. Duh!
ObsceneWish Posts: 3364	Sep 22, 2008 7:44 PM GMT Quote I still love him, even if he's vapor. Vapor is my bestest friend in the whole world. I just want the vapor to be happy.
Hidden/Deleted Member	Sep 22, 2008 8:18 PM GMT Quote I whored around after our break-up. It was while playing the whore that my arm flung over the edge of some handyman's bed that my memento ring took to flight. Never found it... vapourized. I was irked -- it had cost a pretty penny -- but then the healing truly began.
NNJfitandbi Posts: 1234	Sep 22, 2008 8:38 PM GMT Quote NNJfitandbi said Aero saidI whored around after our break-up. It was while playing the whore that my arm flung over the edge of some handyman's bed that my memento ring took to flight. Never found it... vapourized. I was irked -- it had cost a pretty penny -- but then the healing truly began. Moral of the story. Enrich a handyman, jilted lover. It will heal you!
TallGWMvballe... Posts: 859	Sep 22, 2008 9:00 PM GMT Quote Ghen, I feel your pain, but as others have said it will subside with time. When you are able to date again yourself, try to focus on the good parts of your last relationship and strive to be the good guy again in this new one.
tommo Posts: 71	Sep 22, 2008 9:40 PM GMT Quote Sometimes you never stop truly loving someone, you just have to let go and hope they find what they are looking for, and pray that you find someone special for yourself. You just have to accept that you're after different things or are at different stages in your lives. I used to hate myself for thinking so much of my ex (of sorts). In the end I realised I was just hurting myself for beating myself up about it. I just accepted that I still care for him lots while recognising we'll never be together again. Forgive yourself.

TallGWMvballe... Posts: 859	Sep 22, 2008 11:37 PM GMT Quote tommo saidSometimes you never stop truly loving someone, you just have to let go and hope they find what they are looking for, and pray that you find someone special for yourself. You just have to accept that you're after different things or are at different stages in your lives. I used to hate myself for thinking so much of my ex (of sorts). In the end I realised I was just hurting myself for beating myself up about it. I just accepted that I still care for him lots while recognising we'll never be together again. Forgive yourself. Nice advice, Tommo, My last major LTR left me after almost 3 years as well. I still love him and miss what we had and more importantly what we could have had. The only way I can go on is to love him from afar and hope that he is happy. We are friends and I am invited to go to his legal marriage in 3 weeks, but I will not go... I don't want to spoil his special moment by being sad in front of him and the guests. Yes, just move on and hope your special one comes along when you are both ready for it.

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