Your Best Straight Buddy

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    Sep 05, 2008 11:56 PM GMT
    My best buddy is a straight guy. When we met, I was sure he was hitting on me.

    I was on my evening run and we passed by each other twice; the first time he was obviously looking over so the second time I flashed him a smile, and he gave me back a big grin. Then while I was walking home he jogged up behind me and said, “So, how do you stay so lean all the time?”

    That was a gay pickup line if I’d ever heard one. I grinned back, and we started talking. It was too good to be true – he’s incredibly handsome, and absolutely ripped. Our personalities clicked in an instant. Then, next thing I knew, he was telling me about his wife and 18-month-old son. I was brutally disappointed, but it still felt great just talking with him.

    We started running together – it’s always been impossible to find a guy who likes to run the same distance and pace as me. We spent an hour or two together every day. Within a month he was one of the closest friends I’ve ever had. He is truly my brother and I love him with all my heart. He understands and accepts me more completely than anyone I’ve ever known, gay or straight. I can’t help being attracted to him but I’ve never once fantasized about him; that would disrespect the friendship. Whenever we’re together, we flat out light each other up.

    He lives in Hawaii now. We talk on the phone every couple of weeks, and see each other a couple times a year. He was supposed to be in town all this month but his plans changed, and now he isn’t coming. I miss him so I thought I’d write about him.

    Your turn. Who else out there has a close friendship with a straight guy?
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    Sep 06, 2008 12:01 AM GMT
    My best friend is straight as well. Known him all through high school. Although moving from London to Athens and then back to the uk for uni our friendship has stayed strong. I'm hoping that when I come out it will stay the same way.
    However, unlike you I've never been attracted to him :O. I think it's because I got to know him when I thought I was straight.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 06, 2008 12:10 AM GMT
    One of my best friends is straight too... have been friends since high school (in Germany), when I had a massive crush on him - but eventually we became friends. We later studied together in the UK, and although we no longer live in the same country, but do speak on the phone/email/meet regularly.
    Fun thing is that many people assume he is gay - which really he is not ...
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    Sep 06, 2008 12:28 AM GMT
    Having straight friends, what a queer concept.
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    Sep 06, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
    Well... being more or less closeted, all my best buddies are straight.

    In fact the only person who knows I'm gay in real life is my bestfriend (known him since high school, when me and my first bestfriend since preschool drifted apart because he became a jesus freak), and I only came out to him last May. He was very supportive and encouraged me to come out completely in the future.

    Like Fable, I've never been attracted to him. LOL Thinking of sleeping with him would be too much like incest. EW! icon_lol.gif

    However, another of my bestfriends is straight... and I fell in love with him hard once. Broke my heart... icon_cry.gif but I'm over him. LOL
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    Sep 06, 2008 1:35 AM GMT
    Riptjock, thanks for sharing this experience with your best, albeit straight friend. It rang so true for me - I have a very similar situation with a best friend I've stayed in touch with all the way back to our Stanford days playing H20-polo. He is absolutely straight - but we click so well in every other way. This guy would be "the one" for me if things were different. He taught me so much - about polo, athletics, clean life, oh man - so much. He is like the closest brother you could want. Your situation is so much like mine!
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    Sep 06, 2008 1:51 AM GMT
    I have two friends like the ones you mentioned.

    My oldest friend was a college roommate, and yes, I had a crush on him at the time (he knows about it now, didn't at the time). We've stayed close for over 30 years, although he and his family have been in Boston for a long time.

    The other one is the husband of a woman I used to work for down here in Florida. She's a very close friend too, but her husband and I share some interests that she doesn't. They are both people who would do anything for me, and me for them. She's the one in my profile, by the way, who told me that she could never tell when I was joking. Her husband always knows.
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    Sep 06, 2008 2:02 AM GMT
    My best friend since we were 13 is straight and we've seen and been through quite a lot in those two decades. I was his best man at his wedding and his son's middle name is my first name. We'll be friends until the day one of us dies.
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    Sep 06, 2008 2:19 AM GMT
    Although I'm looking forward to the day that someone says to me, “So, how do you stay so lean all the time?” Aahh to dream, ...I'll stay on subject:

    I've had three straight male friends over the last 25 years who knew I was gay. (that sounds grammatically wrong somehow - but I digress) They were friends because I could talk to them about my life and they could talk to me equally well. We could talk about anything, We didn't talk about sex much, other than issues of curiosity, from both sides. I never really segregated straight friends from gay friends unless they were more acquaintances, rather than good strong friendships. When was going through my divorce with my ex (male), my friends who were straight were as helpful and supportive as my gay friends. My women friends were far less helpful. The men who are my friends, whether gay or straight, are guys I relate to in the areas of common interests, art, science, culture, sports. Also, we have similar open approaches to life, trust, loyalty, logic. We diverge on various personal tastes but understand that that is a strength.
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    Sep 06, 2008 2:44 AM GMT
    Most of my friends are straight and have all been supportive. They dont care at all. They ask the same questions as with anybody else. Hows your bf, how is work, how is the sex....blah blah blah. Completely understanding. I love them all. They made coming out 10 times easier.
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    Sep 06, 2008 5:04 AM GMT
    Is having a close friend who is straight unusual?
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    Sep 06, 2008 5:06 AM GMT
    obscenewishIs having a close friend who is straight unusual?


    Gay guys are pretty weird, huh? Most of mine are straight and I don't see why that would be an issue.
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    Sep 06, 2008 5:38 AM GMT
    I have all straight friends, as for as I know. But most of the guys in my dorm are guys-into-guys phobic so it's hard for me not to distance myself. You guys are lucky to have great friends...



    As is our dorm's motto goes, No Fags In Crocker icon_neutral.gif
  • gibbay

    Posts: 59

    Sep 06, 2008 5:40 AM GMT
    flex89 said
    obscenewishIs having a close friend who is straight unusual?


    Gay guys are pretty weird, huh? Most of mine are straight and I don't see why that would be an issue.


    Most of my friends are straight too, in fact, I find it easier to stay friends with straight guys than with gay guys. Maybe because I only met my first openly gay guy when I was 20, and where I'm living the 'gay community' is small to non-existent (the closest gay village is in the next city over), I've gravitated more to straight guys as friends.
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    Sep 06, 2008 5:44 AM GMT
    I'm close friends with a guy who was in my high school (apparently elementary school too, or so he says). Since he acted so stupid before, he gave off a younger, annoying brother vibe. Nowadays, I fear I might crush over him, ahaha...
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    Sep 06, 2008 6:05 AM GMT
    One of my best friends I met through a car forum website. We started hanging out, then started working on our cars together, etc... Now we're really close friends. He lives back where I grew up though, so I don't get to hang out with him very much anymore.
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    Sep 06, 2008 7:03 AM GMT
    I'm lucky enough to have two straight budies. They are solid and supportive and we understand each other.........even if we don't make sense when we interact and have fun. They know my scene, and I know theirs. It goes beyond any catagorization in terms of gay and straight.

    Just for the record, I have gay friends who are the same.
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Sep 06, 2008 7:33 AM GMT
    My best straight buddy and I have known each other for over 20 years. I'm always bugging him to come to the gym with me but he's happy to just get fat and hang out at home with his wife and kids. He's been there at various junctions in my life with good advice. I like to think of him as my very own Jiminy Cricket.

    I'm even the godfather to his son, which means a lot to me. Although I did find out recently that some of his friends wanted to know why he hangs around with 'that faggot'. Sigh.
  • MuslDrew

    Posts: 463

    Sep 06, 2008 12:07 PM GMT
    One of my best friends was the first personal trainer I worked with. He was young & wild then.He was 21 and tried to drag me to raves with him. He's not uncomfortable in a gay club. We've trained for competitions together.
    A decade later, he's divorced and has a 4 year old daughter. We have more in common now. I never would have predicted we'd be close friends years later.
  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Sep 06, 2008 12:30 PM GMT
    I have a few straight friends who I'm starting to suspect as being gay. A gay guy I met once told me that one of them looked kinda gay, and as I started to think about it I started to suspect. If there is any edivence about these guys being gay, it would be the time we were at a bbq: this girl had to take off her bra and panties before hitting the water, and she only allowed these 'straight' friends to go and help her out, with the high probability that they would her some hot bits. Me being supposedly straight was not allowed an inch near her.

    Hmmm... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 06, 2008 12:45 PM GMT
    you REALLY need to check out my lawn, badly neglected and thriving like a shark at springbreak.

    My best friend is straight, his answer to being gay was..yeah so fraking what..who cares. Let me check, all my real friends are straight and could not care less.
  • usafjock

    Posts: 3

    Sep 06, 2008 1:01 PM GMT
    I have a buddy who is str8. Not a lot of people know im gay but him. We met in middles school and have been friends since then. While growing up we really had a weird relationship. We would sleep in the same bed put our arms around each other and spoon. We on occasion have said good nite i love you.But we have never done anything sexually. Now that we are older i see him now more often since im out of the Air-force. I went out the other night with him and our other friends i ended up drinking a little bit more than usual so i had to stay at his house. Same thing happened i stripped myself to my boxers and dropped myself on his bed. He did the same thing. I reached around and put my arm around him and fell into a deep drunk sleep. I know i am gay. I know that he is not def gay. This is something we have done since our childhood. Our bond is really tight. I told him i was gay once i was in the Air-force because i felt i needed to and i missed him. He totally thinks its cool and accepts me. He is one of the Reasons im back home. I dont think i could live with out him in my life. Im not inlove with him or think of him in any sexual manner, even though i should dude is more ripped than me lol. but yeah Thanks for being there buddy.
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    Sep 06, 2008 1:17 PM GMT
    all of my best friends have been straight. I have a group of three "best" friends right now. One of them knows I do guys, too and thinks it's hilarious. I havent had the guts to tell the other two yet, although the guy who knows says they won't care..

    I have crushed on each or all of them at one point or another...if I find myself thinking about one of them, I tend to get all mushy and if I'm drunk I'm definately the "I love you guys" type.

    I do have friends who are gay, but most of them have sides to them that bug me enough to keep them from being what I'd call best friends. For instance, I had one friend, we'd lifted together for awhile before we figured out we both like guys. Up to that point he was pretty cool, but then whenever I'd see him outside of the gym he'd start with "Girl, what are you up to?" I hate it when guys talk like that so it kinda made me stomach turn.

    I have one friend who's pretty close who's a girl...but she's a lot like a guy. I mean seriously, you should see her parallel park! She drives like a man! and it's kinda hot. I crushed on her a long time ago, but she had a serious bf at the time so I became the dreaded 'friend' and nothing ever happened.

    geez..I just looked back at that, sorry bijock, I didnt think this was gonna turn into a biography...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 06, 2008 1:22 PM GMT
    I have an outstanding friend (actually several from college) that is straight.

    Our history goes back to serving in a variety of student organizations while doing my undergraduate work. It was a fantastic experience and this friend was right in there with me. It was quite a time.

    Have many things in common and some differing views. He is a jag officer in the military so I hear a few things that I wouldn't otherwise regarding
    views of Bush and the morale of those serving.

    He is also into fitness and teaches a Yoga class every week. I get his Yoga
    e-mails all the time, but have yet to attend. Great guy, married with 2 daughters. Funny, very intelligent....... a republican who knows we made a mistake the last time we voted.
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    Sep 06, 2008 3:17 PM GMT
    Almost all of my close male friends are straight. When I was younger, my (straight) best friend and I would go out dancing and to after hours. We would get drunk, dance, make up stories about ourselves, and go pass out in the same bed. Never did anything sexual. He is like a brother to me so that would be weird. My current best friend is also straight. We talk almost every day--he lives in KC and I'm in the middle of nowhere Nebraska. But we have similar interests, so it's kept us always looking forward to spending time together. I'm not attracted to him in any way, other than friends. My longest friend is gay and I refer to him as my "gay mom."