I came out to my friend

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    Nov 09, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    I came out to my straight friend today. This is the first time I came out to a friend. I made a thread couple of days ago about me turning 24 and I've made so many targets for me to achieve. One of them was to come out to my friend and I finally did today.
    Me and my friend we're at the pub and we were talking about all sorts of things about women that he is dating, my job and all sorts of other things. I kept looking behind him if we're other people standing near him because I didn't want to say I'm gay in front of other people.
    During today at the pub he asked me" if would you date a white chick?" I looked around and there we're still other people around us so I said "yes". And then he went off to get a drink for both of us. I then though to myself I should just do it now when he comes back. He came back and I can't quite remember what he said but I told him "I don't swing that way" and he was like "what?" I repeated the same thing again, "I don't swing that way" and he said "what do you mean?" I was then panicking inside, he then thought about it and said "Oh you're gay?" and I said "yeah". I was so scared and I could start to feel my face going red but I kept keeping myself calm. He then quickly said "I know".
    I thought he knew so I asked him "how did you know ?" he then said "Well you keep going on about Chris Hemsworth".
    I then explained a bit more about myself and he asked me "Are you really gay or just joking?" I said "No I'm not joking I really am gay" he then said "I can't tell with you because I think you're joking". I kept telling him I am gay but he was struggling to believe me because we joke about a lot. My face went red and I felt like I was going to start crying but I controlled myself. I kept saying that "I'm not lying and if I was I'd win a Oscar".
    He asked me if my parents knew and I said" yes" and again he thought I was lying. I explained to him more and more but he couldn't figure me out if I was lying or telling the truth.
    He then started to believe me and was cool with it and he even said "I'll go to a gay bar with you so you can look for a boyfriend if you want to go". I said thanks to him and we kept talking about what I went through and what I thought his reaction was going to be. I still can't believe I told him I'm still shaking and feeling nervous. We start talking about chicks and dudes and I said that "While we were studying Romeo and Juliet for English it made me think how messed up you straight people are," lol. We had a laugh about that.
    I'm so glad it went well, I told him I like one of the guys who works in the bar and he agrees that he is good looking.
    My friend start talking about his opinion on homosexuality and what he believes from reading the watching documentary shows. He said he believes that everybody has a little bit of gay in them and it starts from the mother's womb and I said that I heard that as well.
    It went great, I still feel very emotional, he even asked what sort of guys I like.
    Everything went well. At first I was getting prepared to protect myself in case he was going to smash his glass in my face, lol.
    So what do you guys think?
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    Nov 09, 2012 8:53 PM GMT
    D'awwwwww ... Go on son =D!

    Nice one!!!
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    Nov 09, 2012 9:24 PM GMT
    Oh yeah and he said something like "I can't believe you're gay and you don't watch Glee". lol.
    We we're also talking about Actors who are gay and the fact that there aren't any gay lead star actors and then he start telling me about Rupert Everret and other things.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Nov 09, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    Always nice to hear! Congrats!
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    Nov 09, 2012 11:08 PM GMT
    Awww yay! so proud of ya man!
    told ya it'd go good ;)
    well done! icon_biggrin.gif made me smile to read xD
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    Nov 10, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    warrior123 saidOh yeah and he said something like "I can't believe you don't watch Glee". lol.
    We we're also talking about Actors who are gay and the fact that there aren't any gay lead star actors and then he start telling me about Rupert Everret and other things.


    LOL at the glee thing.

    Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you came out! All of you guys are so courageous to do it. I am so happy that he accepts you for who you are and everything is good between you two! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 10, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    Congratulations.
    Hope the next two, three, hundred more go just as well.
    Funny, how they almost always 'already knew'; we think we're hiding so well...guess you shouldn't have had the Thor poster over your bed?
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Nov 10, 2012 8:38 AM GMT
    Cool story. I think that your friend may be an awesome straight guy. The only thing that gives me pause is him offering to go to the gay bar with you. I'm not sure that would be a normal straight guy's reaction to hearing his friend say that he is gay. But don't you read too much in to that. I would just be myself with this guy because it seems like he just wants to be your friend or at least just learn more about you gay guys, lol.
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    Nov 10, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidCongratulations.
    Hope the next two, three, hundred more go just as well.
    Funny, how they almost always 'already knew'; we think we're hiding so well...guess you shouldn't have had the Thor poster over your bed?


    Thank you, I do have 2 Avengers movie posters on my wall and I do have a Thor calender but my friend doesn't know about the calender, lol. He don't know what I have in my room because I've never invited him into my house mainly because of my parents.

    By the way he is straight he just doesn't mind going to a gay bar, I asked him if would you feel freaked out and he said that he stayed in Spain with a group of gypsies and believe nothing can scare me more, lol.

    Plus he's dating 2 chicks right now.

    Even though I came out to him only yesterday, I did feel quite bad as well for some reason. I'm glad I've told him about me but I just feel emotional about it. The same things happend when I told my dad a few years ago and he said he was okay with it at first. I was still emotional for the next few days and feeling very sad about myself. But my dad soon showed his true colours when he confessed that he don't like gay people and that he would disown me if I do date a guy.

    Me and my friend were talking about all sorts of things after that like, suicide, gay actors and actresses and so many other things. I told him about the guys I like such as Channing Tatum, Colton Haynes and my role model from Desperate Housewives Andrew VandeKamp (Shawn Pyfrom).

    Did any of you guys feel emotional/sad the next day after coming out to your friend?
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    Nov 10, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
    . Congrats on the coming out to your friend . Glad that it worked out well. Sorry about your dad, but we don't get to choose our families . We choose our friends, and it sounds like you chose well,
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    Nov 10, 2012 2:03 PM GMT
    HikeSwimSkiSF said. Congrats on the coming out to your friend . Glad that it worked out well. Sorry about your dad, but we don't get to choose our families . We choose our friends, and it sounds like you chose well,


    Thank you.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 10, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    Your friend sounds like a good guy, a "keeper".

    icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 10, 2012 3:46 PM GMT
    I'm very happy for you. I know the long road you've been on and this really is a huge step for you. Like so many, that first step is the hardest but once you've made it, the rest start to fall into place. You begin to realize that there are people in the world that will not accept you because of their own bigoted biases but there are others who see,accept and love you for who you are and not for what they perceive as right or wrong.

    I think this is the beginning of a new journey, new life and allows you to set the bar at a new comfort height! Congratulations and a big hug!!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 10, 2012 3:51 PM GMT
    AWESOME! Congrats for putting yourself out there. I know the first few steps you take can be pretty rough. You have a positive experience to give you more confidence next time. May all your friends act that way.. helpful and positive.

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    Nov 10, 2012 6:07 PM GMT
    Thank you everybody, I really appreciate your support guys. I actually wanted to cry when he said he won't mind taking me to a gay bar to find a boyfriend. But I don't want to go for a while because it's just going to be a bit too much for now.
    I don't have any other friends apart from people I talk to at work but I don't want to come out at work, it's just not a good idea.
    Right my next step is to start dating Colton Haynes, lol. His face makes me want to cry. Now that's true love, lol. icon_cry.gif

    And thanks for the hug Don. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Nov 10, 2012 6:20 PM GMT
    Such a good story man, these things usually have different and consequential results in the end; good and bad. Thankfully, your friend took this the former.
    Now, don't you feel a weight being lifted up? I sure did, when I came out to two of my buddies. icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 10, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    Nice story man. All my buds said something to the effect of, "thanks for trusting me... I know it must be a hard thing to do"... I was pretty surprised at how uneventful it was. These are 4 very masculine bro type guys. I'm waiting until after football season is over to tell a couple of my other friends who graduated from rival colleges as I know I'll get some jokes about assuming I was gay because of my alma mater haha.