Is the way we view ourselves different from the way other people view us?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2008 12:27 AM GMT
    Sometimes when I look in the mirror I have a lot of confidence in myself and other times I look at myself and I'm like "wow...I'm extremely ugly." What I'm trying to say is...

    Do other people see me differently than the way I see myself? (pretty much the same as the subject)

    When I look at my profile view in pictures and stuff also I'm like "that can't be me!"

    haha I really don't know if this makes sense but maybe you can relate!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 06, 2008 1:59 AM GMT
    You have no picture posted. How the hell do you expect anyone to answer this?
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    Sep 06, 2008 2:15 AM GMT
    jprichva saidYou have no picture posted. How the hell do you expect anyone to answer this?


    I concur. How can we validate you if we can't even see you?

    The more I sound out that question, the more I love it.
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    Sep 06, 2008 2:56 AM GMT
    If you look at a picture of yourself and ask "can my nose really be that big?", chances are it is that big. (I speak from experience).

    Now, people with body dysmorphic disorder will look at a perfectly average (or even above-average) feature in the mirror and they will see it as disproportionate or distorted.

    Whether a face or body is ugly or not is a matter of personal preference. Because everyone has their own ideas about what's desirable and attractive, other people will inevitably assess your appearance differently from the way you see yourself. And just as you may change your mind from day to day about how you look, other people probably do the same about you. You can be sure most people do the same to themselves when they look in the mirror.

    Of course, the way you appear to another person is also strongly conditioned by your personality. You may not be ready for the cover of GQ, but you might have charisma that makes you irresistible.

    All you can do is brush your teeth, comb your hair, use sunscreen, and care less. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 06, 2008 3:19 AM GMT
    I'm not asking for validation...I was asking as a general question

    but thanks MikeonMain for answering my question
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    Sep 06, 2008 4:18 AM GMT
    Yes, other people see you differently from the way you see yourself. Obviously. Because they are they, and you are you. You each have different tastes, different fixations, different perspectives... and you have much more history with yourself than they do. You already know where all the flaws are.

    Often I see two pictures of a guy on his profile and I say to myself, "That can't be the same guy..." but it is, and to him both pictures look just like him. Because looking at a picture and looking at a real guy are not at all the same thing.

    Often I'll look at a picture of myself and say, "Wow - who's that guy, and why is he so much better looking than me?" But the pics all sort of keep turning out the same, so I figure on some level I must really look like that... but I'm also secretly afraid that anyone I meet might be disappointed that I don't look as good as my pics.

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    Sep 06, 2008 4:27 AM GMT
    I would hope that people view me differently then how I view myself otherwise I'min toruble.

    I don't have the same eyes as everyone so I really don't know how they view me. I do, however, know how I want to be viewed and even sometimes that is viewed differently even by myself.

    I don't expect people to view me the same way as I do. That's a choice they can make for themselves. In the long run I hope they like what they view and will hopefully want to know more.
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    Sep 06, 2008 4:37 AM GMT
    willie1991 saidSometimes when I look in the mirror I have a lot of confidence in myself and other times I look at myself and I'm like "wow...I'm extremely ugly." What I'm trying to say is...

    Do other people see me differently than the way I see myself? (pretty much the same as the subject)

    icon_biggrin.gif


    Of course people see you differently than you see yourself. And you can see yourself differently depending on how you think others view you. Your view of yourself is unique in that you've lived with yourself all your life and you generally strive to look good. Other people may think you are hotter or uglier based on one or a few superficial impressions, and also based on their cultural and/or chemical background as well as their current mood state.

    Most likely, everyone on RJ is ugly or hot to someone else in the world. The question is: can you filter your view on how everyone views you by narrowing in on the positive perceptions of other people's views of you? Or are you going to dwell on what negative qualities you think other's perceive of you?

    There's a field called "Self Psychology" that studies these issues: mainly how a person thinks of his or herself. It's very interesting. =)
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    Sep 06, 2008 10:41 PM GMT
    As far as I am concerned we are dealing with THREE different perceptions, the way we view ourselves, the way others view us...and the way we actually ARE....so if I were you I would continue the journey in life by finding out who YOU are first and foremost, put your ego, and insecurities aside....and start by finding your own truth...and eventually, mabee all of those perceptions(listed above) will mold into one, and you may find some sense of completion and peace.....LOVE and many beautifull adventures for youicon_smile.gif