To gay men 40+ who were considered "very hot" in their 20's -- Did your life change as you gradually got older?

  • Kris92

    Posts: 2

    Nov 10, 2012 4:27 AM GMT
    I'll try to make this short.

    Last weekend I was at a gay club and was pondering something. I noticed that there are guys in their 20's who are hot and KNOW they're hot. For the record, I'm not hating, to the contrary...I love it! I love it when a guy is hot and knows he's hot. These guys basically had everyone in the room fawning at them.

    Then I looked around and noticed some of the older gay guys, they certainly weren't ugly but they weren't super-hot. I wondered how these guys lives must've changed after gradually getting older. For the rest of us (us meaning "average" looking guys) we have to rely on our personalities more, and build that up.

    So basically my question is:

    Since I wasn't brave enough to be blunt and ask those guys in the club directly, I thought I'd ask here. For you guys in your 40's, 50's, and 60's -- Do you feel like your life, at least mentally speaking, totally changed when you realized you weren't as attractive as you once were? Do you think it was a good thing or bad thing for you?
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Nov 10, 2012 4:58 AM GMT
    Most, if not all, guys get better looking with age. I think guys in their 30's, 40's and 50's are WAY hotter than the 20-somethings.
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    Nov 10, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    I'm not even 20 yet. I feel left out.
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Nov 10, 2012 5:23 AM GMT
    Neight saidI'm not even 20 yet. I feel left out.


    Whoa! You're not even 20 yet?
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    Nov 10, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    Just_Tim said
    Whoa! You're not even 20 yet?

    I've been less-than-20 for a while. 19 years, to be exact.
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    Nov 10, 2012 6:21 AM GMT
    Just_Tim saidMost, if not all, guys get better looking with age. I think guys in their 30's, 40's and 50's are WAY hotter than the 20-somethings.


    This. Older men are fucking hot. icon_exclaim.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 10, 2012 7:34 AM GMT
    Oh, I always knew it would not last forever ... so I took advantage of it and enjoyed while I could ... ya, sure there a few regrets .. mostly that maybe I should have stuck it out with the hotter ones ... but life is good, live every moment and enjoy the moment you are in
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Nov 10, 2012 8:22 AM GMT
    Hmmm, interesting question. If you take care of your body and spirit, I think you actually become sexier to others as you get older. But, most of us guys unfortunately pay attention to the fucked up gay world which is composed of guys who want to remain young boys forever like when they had their first gay sexual experiences. The problem tends to be that the older you get when you have lived in a pretend world is that reality comes crashing in. But now that I'm older, (but I'm a healthy lean body builder kind of guy lifestyle) I'm finding more offers for sex than when I was a youngster. Very strange I know.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 10, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    sorry troll op, this question doesn't involve you because you have to be hot and not a troll to begin with for you to age into uggs. you'll just be a young troll who turns into an older troll.
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    Nov 10, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    A few Guys thought I was Hot in My 20's.

    A few think I am Hot in My 40's.

    Imma hangin' in there...

    Ain't NOTHING to be afraid of Guys!!!
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 10, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    As an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif
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    Nov 10, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 10, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???






    Not always, perhaps.........but all too often.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 10, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    I looked great in my 20's, but I wasn't nearly as atuned to exercise, diet and the "building blocks" of being hot, including attitude. I was focused on things like getting college and law school degrees and studying for bar and Series 7 exams. For me, these perceptions came later after I came out and really grew this direction.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Nov 10, 2012 4:22 PM GMT
    calibro saidsorry troll op, this question doesn't involve you because you have to be hot and not a troll to begin with for you to age into uggs. you'll just be a young troll who turns into an older troll.


    +1

    What kind of stupid question is that? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 10, 2012 4:25 PM GMT
    rnch said
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???






    Not always, perhaps.........but all too often.


    Sorry.

    I realize You re a pretty decent Guy.

    BUT

    Those "bois" are not the problem.

    It

    IS

    YOU

    being angry because You feel like You can't compete with them.

    UNTIL You realize it is not a competition -- YOU are the TRUE problem.
  • papayachalice

    Posts: 58

    Nov 10, 2012 4:43 PM GMT
    Cash said
    rnch said
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???






    Not always, perhaps.........but all too often.


    Sorry.

    I realize You re a pretty decent Guy.

    BUT

    Those "bois" are not the problem.

    It

    IS

    YOU

    being angry because You feel like You can't compete with them.

    UNTIL You realize it is not a competition -- YOU are the TRUE problem.


    Can I say:
    this is too mean!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    papayachalice said
    Cash said
    rnch said
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???






    Not always, perhaps.........but all too often.


    Sorry.

    I realize You re a pretty decent Guy.

    BUT

    Those "bois" are not the problem.

    It

    IS

    YOU

    being angry because You feel like You can't compete with them.

    UNTIL You realize it is not a competition -- YOU are the TRUE problem.


    Can I say:
    this is too mean!


    NO it isn't.

    Hating someone because You think they are moar attractive than You - a completely arbitrary belief that can not POSSBILY be measured or qualified - is STUPID.

    Period.

  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Nov 10, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    I agree with above that (especially gay guys) get hotter with age. But even when that's the case it's a different kind of hot. It's not the air-headed everyone-is-staring kind of hot, it's more of a mature, dateable, intelligent kind of hot. And I've certainly seen a lot of guys who haven't gotten out of the 20-something pretty boy phase, and they just hang on to that attitude. It's like they're not used to needing a personality because everyone's always just wanted in their pants regardless. Now that we want their brain too, they can't understand why they're alone at the bar winking at guys and getting no responses.

    I guess that's the upside of not being the sexy guy at 20, couple steps ahead icon_cry.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    Cash saidA few Guys thought I was Hot in My 20's.

    A few think I am Hot in My 40's.

    Imma hangin' in there...

    Ain't NOTHING to be afraid of Guys!!!


    Don't worry Cash, there is definitely MORE than a few who think you are hot. icon_twisted.gif And they will continue to think you are hot for a very long time. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    hmm...well im a year away from 40, but all I can say is that I did great when I was in my 20's and as i'm getting older.

    I had a great amount of fun and sex while being wild, but I really enjoy getting older.(so far) I am way more stable, looking more handsome.(people tell me) I think because for a few reasons. I started dressing more mature and handsome. I kinda take a look at Tom Ford, Daniel Craig, Steve McQueen, or even Ryan Gossling. These guys dress well and appropriate making them look hot. I think that shows confidence and surpasses that inferior boy look by far.

    I find men much more attractive when they are dressed sharp or rugged(not that over hyped gay butch look) way more attractive than that boyish or even worse when a guy is 45 trying to look like 20. You know that look, clothing way to tight, looks like they had Paralox done to their face more than Nichole Kidman, kinda snotty immature attitude. This make me wanna poor gas all over my self, light the match and throw my self out of the 20th floor window.(Poor Meg)

    I guess it's just maturity and where or who we condition our self to be with or what social setting we set our self in. I know so many men that only socialize in west hollywood and never seem to wanna get out. If that's all someone wants, great...go for it. I do see a certain trait that begins to play out when only conditioning our self to a certain social crowd. It happens to all, gay, str8, black, white.

    So now that I dragged this out, yes it changed and for the better! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 4:54 PM GMT
    I get way more dates being gay in my 50's then
    being str8 in my 20's . So Im luvin it.
  • papayachalice

    Posts: 58

    Nov 10, 2012 4:55 PM GMT
    Cash said
    papayachalice said
    Cash said
    rnch said
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???






    Not always, perhaps.........but all too often.


    Sorry.

    I realize You re a pretty decent Guy.

    BUT

    Those "bois" are not the problem.

    It

    IS

    YOU

    being angry because You feel like You can't compete with them.

    UNTIL You realize it is not a competition -- YOU are the TRUE problem.


    Can I say:
    this is too mean!


    NO it isn't.

    Hating someone because You think they are moar attractive than You - a completely arbitrary belief that can not POSSBILY be measured or qualified - is STUPID.

    Period.




    This is not hating. Not everyone is in competing mode.
    Younger guys have good appearance. Older guys have good life experience. There is no reason someone has to compete with others. Especially being commented as hot is not better than being commented as smart, or nice
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    papayachalice said
    Cash said
    papayachalice said
    Cash said
    rnch said
    Cash said
    rnch saidAs an observer of the human condition old enough to have watched the progression of "super hot" men in their 20's age into their 40's, I can offer up this observation:

    Most former 20-something pretty bois haven't "got a clue" why, as they lurch into their 40's and 50's, guys don't find them "super hot" anymore.

    Having spent all of their lives just getting by on their former pretty boi face and body, they have never had to develop a personality to match their (former)surface attractions.



    icon_idea.gif


    oh really???






    Not always, perhaps.........but all too often.


    Sorry.

    I realize You re a pretty decent Guy.

    BUT

    Those "bois" are not the problem.

    It

    IS

    YOU

    being angry because You feel like You can't compete with them.

    UNTIL You realize it is not a competition -- YOU are the TRUE problem.


    Can I say:
    this is too mean!


    NO it isn't.

    Hating someone because You think they are moar attractive than You - a completely arbitrary belief that can not POSSBILY be measured or qualified - is STUPID.

    Period.




    This is not hating. Not everyone is in competing mode.
    Younger guys have good appearance. Older guys have good life experience. There is no reason someone has to compete with others. Especially being commented as hot is not better than being commented as smart, or nice


    so we agree???

    why am I mean then???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 10, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    pretty people are generally lazy fucks because they've never HAD to sweat

    so....i've never gone for pretty people

    and never considered myself one

    being photogenic isn't the same. it's only useful if you want to eyefuck a camera, not a person.

    sweat. put your back into it, let your gut hang out and men will call back. except photographers...they don't like guts that much