Can a guy still claim he is straight if he has sex with guys?

  • uncgymguy

    Posts: 27

    Nov 11, 2012 2:15 PM GMT
    I keep hearing from guys saying that they are "dating" a straight guy. The guy won't go to gay clubs or parties (fear of being seen) but he is okay with having sex on a regular basis with another guy.

    Do you think this qualifies a guy as "gay" or "bi"?

    I will say that I once met a guy who loved women but hooked up with guys all the time. I told him that I just thought he was a sex addict and it is easier to hookup with guys than girls. I categorized him as just a sex addict.
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    Nov 11, 2012 2:20 PM GMT

    lol, all bi means is there is an attraction to both sexes, often one more than the other.

    The guy is Bi. icon_wink.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Nov 11, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    WHY are people so quick to slap a label on others icon_question.gif




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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    rnch saidWHY are people so quick to slap a label on others icon_question.gif




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    Meh, are you male or female? Oh noes, a label!

    Are you skinny or fat?

    Are you tall or short?

    Are you single or married?

    icon_wink.gif


    If I send you to the store for some round things, unable to use labels like oranges, tennis balls, a round of cheese or apples, what is likely to happen?


    PS here's another: This guy I know says he's a hard core vegetarian but often likes to eat meat. Is he still a vegetarian because he says so?
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    Nov 11, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    rnch saidWHY are people so quick to slap a label on others icon_question.gif

    Yes. Language continues to be a useful tool to convey meaning even when the arguments of a sentence happen to be human beings.


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    Meh, are you male or female? Oh noes, a label!

    Are you skinny or fat?

    Are you tall or short?

    Are you single or married?

    icon_wink.gif


    If I send you to the store for some round things, unable to use labels like oranges, tennis balls, a round of cheese or apples, what is likely to happen?


    PS here's another: This guy I know says he's a hard core vegetarian but often likes to eat meat. Is he still a vegetarian because he says so?
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    Nov 11, 2012 2:52 PM GMT



    And I'm Anne Morrow Lindbergh...
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 11, 2012 2:55 PM GMT
    can someone please tell me why all you bitches keep talking about being in love or wanting to be in love with straight men? while all you bitches got your schemes to get your heads up some straight man's pooper, i'm gonna have a kiki with the sexy men on this site. later
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Nov 11, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    No. That's denial, not being str8.
  • Nga101

    Posts: 3

    Nov 11, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    The individual can identify however they want. So if a guy is saying he is straight, but still having sex the with men, then he would be straight by virtue of his identification.

    But we know that people lie all the time. Anthropologists that studied beer consumption found that when people were interviewed/surveyed the answers were usually underestimated. They arrive to that conclusion by digging through people's trash and recording how much they were actually drinking.

    So in order to get an idea about his sexuality you have to look at what he experiences and how he identifies using the Kinsey scale or some other scale to place him on the spectrum.

    Moral of the story is that humans are very dynamic and fluid when it comes to sexuality and that sex histories and identification are two very different things.
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    Nov 11, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    Having lured str8 men into my den of danger, I say its a very long grayscale, and we all fit in there somewhere
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    monstercookie said, " So if a guy is saying he is straight, but still having sex the with men, then he would be straight by virtue of his identification."

    I eat meat often, but I think I'm a vegetarian. Am I a vegetarian?


    This reminds me of a guy who was on RJ years ago and told us he was monogamous and in a monogamous relationship.
    Then he started coming on to me and when I asked why he said he was monogamous and in a monogamous relationship he insisted he was but that just because he fooled around on his partner didn't mean he and his relationship weren't monogamous.

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    -Doug
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    If we're going to attach labels then I think that being straight/bi/gay is more then just about sex. I think it's more about the senses then the act of sex itself.

    If a guy is turned on by the sight/smell/sound(?)/taste of a man's penis, ass, face, chest, whatever you're either bi or gay. If a guy is able to close his eyes imagine that he's having sex with a woman and then do a man, he can still be straight. How many times have we've seen gay men (utterly gay) manage to get it up for women?

    But that doesn't happen often if at all.

    I'm putting my bet on gay in denial. Or at least weighing on gay side in terms of bisexuality.
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Nov 11, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    No, because being straight by definition means you only have sex/attracted to the opposite sex. Guys who claim to be straight but have sex with other guys are just in the closet. They are at least bisexual.
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    I think the Kinsey scale thing is pretty much on point. There are people out there who I think are 100% straight (or least 99.9%) but I think those people are actually in the minority. I think everyone has some kind of attraction or curiosity to the same sex, just at different levels of intensity.

    I think there are guys who are "straight", meaning that they are mostly attracted to women and don't typically seek out men or check out other guys. However, if they're horny enough and the opportunity presents itself (drunk, etc.) they'll maybe fool around with a male friend or something. I don't think that necessarily makes them "gay", because under normal circumstances they probably wouldn't be pursuing other men.

    I think what really classifies someone as gay, straight, or bisexual is more of an emotional thing than a physical thing. Whoever you try to pursue intimate relationships with and feel that emotional connection with is probably what you can "label" your sexuality as, if you feel the need to. I don't think if a man who normally only dates/has sex with women, ends up fooling around with a guy a couple times in his life just for the heck of it, automatically should be labeled as "gay".

    Whatever, that's just me opinion though. Sexuality is very complex, and it's almost like everyone has their own "DNA" (no two people have the same exact sexuality), or at least that's how I think of it. It's not all black and white. There are many shades of gray.

    Unfortunately, because homosexuality is so frowned upon in society, I think most people (especially men who identify as "straight") suppress their homosexual thoughts/feelings and never explore them in fear of being judged by their friends, family, and peers. For some reason, I also think guys who identify as straight think it makes them less manly or masculine if they find another guy attractive. Which is why I hate it when guys say "no homo" after making a comment about something that could be perceived as "gay". Girls are always commenting on how other girls are so pretty, and you don't hear them saying "no homo". Why can't guys be the same way?
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    No.
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    Same as the gays who have sex with only specific women on rare occasion. I like to think of them as an extreme shade of gray in the sexuality spectrum. Others can knock it, cause they've actually and honestly tried it.
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:15 PM GMT
    Damn, where can I meet these guys cause I'm not having any luck with gay guys.icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    @ steelguitar: all those shades of gray you mention is what bisexuality is.

    Like so:

    Consider the top (black) to be straight, and the bottom (white) to be gay. All those shades in between are the various degrees of bisexuality. Bisexuality is often mistaken as meaning being attracted to both sexes equally, which is true for some, but not for many.

    gray256.gif
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    Depends on what the "sex" he is having "IS". A str8/curious guy can hv grt oral, rimming and topping & such as long as he is not actively "participating" and still "consider" himself str8/curious. Guys want to get off and getting off with another guy is just that. And a lot more available then with females.
    When he starts participating and does what is being done to him to the other guy then he crosses the line to bi and more!!!

    That's my opinion, whatever that's worth. icon_smile.gif

    Labels r beneficial to the extent that they help (me) to determine the "boundaries" the guy maybe b willing to go.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 11, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    I think he can call himself straight if he wants to.
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:34 PM GMT
    A guy can claim anything he wants. Whether it's true or not - is up to him to come to a place of acceptance with.

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    Nov 11, 2012 4:34 PM GMT
    meninlove said @ steelguitar: all those shades of gray you mention is what bisexuality is.

    Like so:

    Consider the top (black) to be straight, and the bottom (white) to be gay. All those shades in between are the various degrees of bisexuality. Bisexuality is often mistaken as meaning being attracted to both sexes equally, which is true for some, but not for many.

    gray256.gif

    Give him something better to look at.

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  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Nov 11, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    As you go higher up the Kinsey scale you lose more clothing. That makes sense.
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    onefortified saidAs you go higher up the Kinsey scale you lose more clothing. That makes sense.

    Have you seen RealJocks main page? icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 11, 2012 4:43 PM GMT
    "claims" are perception and response...self deluding or otherwise.