Another "is my friend..." thread

  • sam632

    Posts: 5

    Nov 13, 2012 4:49 AM GMT
    Well first off I'm a bi guy here, I've had my share of women but the last few years I've been leaning more towards men. I had a friend a few years ago (I wasn't out then) who I've always wondered about, he had a girlfriend and a kid but I just gets this feeling that there was something more to happen for us but never did so here goes...

    It was about 3 or 4 years ago at my old job which I hated because the people my boss kept pairing me up with had horrible work ethic and I just didn't get along with them, in comes this new kid who I immediately became best friends with. We were so much alike in terms of looks and personality we could've been twins. There were times where we would just sit and talk for 4 hours straight. We went to parties together, he would come over my house and we would drink, take road trips together, go to sporting events, etc. and eventually I started liking him sexually but I was in denial about it. I started seeing this girl at one point and once he found out we had sex he did everything he could to sabotage my relationship with this girl and it worked.

    I didn't really care about it but it continued, I went on a date with a girl one night and he knew about it and all throughout the date he was calling and texting me constantly till I finally went into the bathroom and talked to him for an hour. Then I started seeing another girl and he tried to sabotage that too but I told him to back off.

    Then New Years Eve came around and I got drunk and told him I loved him and it didn't bother him and we basically became inseparable after that and people at work around this time were making jokes about us being gay and if someone at the job jokingly insulted me he would get all defensive and be like "You leave my bitch alone!". He would constantly follow me around and I enjoyed it. Around this time his girlfriend was getting mad at him for talking to me all the time and one night she woke him up out of his sleep and he shouted my name. One time I took a trip upstate to hook up with an old girlfriend and I forgot I was supposed to hang out with him that night and he kept texting me saying he thought I was being stupid for driving 2 hours just to have sex with a girl.

    There were other little things like a girl at the job who had a crush on him and who he could've easily hooked up with offered him a ride home which he turned down optioning to ride home with me. Another time it was cold outside and he had to go out and he put on my jacket even though his jacket was right next to mine. He told me when he was in high school a lot of people thought he was gay. Then finally we started bickering all the time (people were saying we were like an old married couple) and eventually it led to a huge fight. He stopped talking to me for a few weeks till he found out I was leaving the job and he acted as if the fight never happened then on my last day he was being very bitchy towards me and we had another fight. The last thing I said to him the last moment I saw him was "Get the hell out of my sight you bitch".

    Over the next year he would contact me through text messaging every few months but it stopped and every so often I think of him and think what could've been.

    Anyway sorry this post is so long but I'm very bad at detecting these things and just want another opinion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 13, 2012 5:48 AM GMT
    Don't look back so much, and don't let a past relationship dictate to you what your future is.

    PS It's normal to grieve over something that didn't work out. icon_wink.gif
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Nov 13, 2012 4:20 PM GMT
    If you care about him you should find out, or else you will forever not know what could or will not be. It sounds like he truly cared for you as stupid as it sounds but him fighting with you is his way of pushing you away so that when you truly did leave he wouldn't be in so much pain. Just ask if you believe you guys could be a good match I don't see how that is not worth a try. Best to you!
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    Nov 13, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    JosephC saidIf you care about him you should find out, or else you will forever not know what could or will not be. It sounds like he truly cared for you as stupid as it sounds but him fighting with you is his way of pushing you away so that when you truly did leave he wouldn't be in so much pain. Just ask if you believe you guys could be a good match I don't see how that is not worth a try. Best to you!


    I too think you should go for it. In the worst case you will close it forever, you are not even in contact so it's not like you could lose a buddy. So why not...
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    Nov 13, 2012 4:50 PM GMT
    First off, there is no such thing as "bi" so stop being silly. Second, dammit, learn to edit, I got to the part about you being "bi" and completely shut down from reading your long winded and boring rant. Something something, on and on, and then something else. My advice, dump him, marry her, then dump her, get therapy, find out something else, discover some religion, or shop, then write another long winded post about it.
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    Nov 13, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    oh daymn haha id call him and talk things out and maybe sus out if hes into guys or not, admit my feelings and try and spark something out of it haha
  • sam632

    Posts: 5

    Nov 13, 2012 6:18 PM GMT
    Haha I knew I was gonna get a "no such thing as bi" comment well that's your opinion. Anyway I don't really have any way of getting in contact with him anymore so all I have are thoughts. If I ever ran into him randomly I would probably jump to the chance because as some of you said we're not friends anymore so there's nothing to risk. Thanks for the feedback people.
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    Nov 13, 2012 6:33 PM GMT
    I didnt know straight guys used the word "bitch"... I thought they only used it when referring to women and not men. Anyways in my personal opinion that dude is also bi, I dont see any other reason for him to sabotage your relationship with your gf he just got jealous or frustrated with you being intimate with her.
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    Nov 13, 2012 10:37 PM GMT
    He was probably into you! If I were you i'd talk it out with him. What do you have to lose?
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    Nov 14, 2012 7:17 PM GMT
    whatever3009 saidI didnt know straight guys used the word "bitch"... I thought they only used it when referring to women and not men. Anyways in my personal opinion that dude is also bi, I dont see any other reason for him to sabotage your relationship with your gf he just got jealous or frustrated with you being intimate with her.


    exactly, did you guys really use the word as much as you described? icon_biggrin.gif
  • sam632

    Posts: 5

    Nov 14, 2012 10:52 PM GMT
    I didn't exactly say "Get out of my sight bitch" those weren't my exact words I might've said asshole or some other obscene word. He did say "bitch" often though only when he was around me though.