Insecurities

  • franklinstein

    Posts: 90

    Nov 13, 2012 6:38 AM GMT
    So I've been going on dates with this wonderful guy, let's call him George, but recently he seemed pretty distant. Then the crazy came out. I was on a4a, like I said it was just a couple of dates so we weren't dating or anything, and this guy asked if I wanted sex. I asked him for pics cause who doesn't like nudie pics.

    In the pics, I saw a book about an university George likes and a business card for the university George goes to. Immediately. I knew this motherfcuker was testing me. I was just about to cuss him out on it, but I thought it would be better to see how far he would go through with it. Again we weren't dating or anything, we haven't gone past first base after a few dates which was way unusual for me.

    Well tonight, I was messaging the account with things like got anymore pics, what's your number, and stuff like that for him to reveal himself. Then he says "I'll be in your city on Tuesday for a conference for school" which I knew was complete bull. I was actually hoping he would come so I can tell him just how much of an asshole move this was, but I figured he wouldn't end up coming so I asked him if he had Skype because that's hard to fake.

    Then George texted me saying we shouldn't see each other again. Which I call him out on testing me, after telling him how I knew, he says he's insecure and doesn't trust easy because he's been cheated on before. I know I have to break it off, but I'm not much of a heart breaker. So, I friendzoned him. Would it of been better to just cut ties with him or to keep him there? Also, what can I do to help him feel more secure? (it's in my personality to help others)
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    Nov 13, 2012 2:22 PM GMT

    Well, it might have been better if both of you had decided what dating means to each of you and talked about it, which could have happened on your second date, as you liked each other enough to have a second date. icon_wink.gif

    Second date:

    You: you're dating casually and still a free agent to see others.

    Him: when he's dating he's exclusive.

    This conversation could also have happened once you found him pretending to be a stranger, rather than outright confronting him. Then once that had been done, you could have said that you knew he was that stranger, and that it would have been better to simply state his case rather than getting distant and attempting detective work. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 13, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    I don't think you should just write him off that quickly. You guys are obviously interested in each other so just go with it.
  • franklinstein

    Posts: 90

    Nov 13, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    When I'm dating I'm exclusive, but we didn't have the relationship talk just yet. I figured I might as well take it slow for once.

    I'm fiercely independent, so if he needs to test me to feel secure. I know I wouldn't be able to deal with that in a relationship.
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    Nov 13, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    Just let it go. You don't need folks in your life that are head-fucked.
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Nov 13, 2012 11:13 PM GMT
    running.gif
  • franklinstein

    Posts: 90

    Nov 15, 2012 7:14 AM GMT
    Aristoshark saidWhen's recess? Is it time for milk and cookies yet?


    Pretty much, it sucks though since I liked him a lot icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 21, 2012 5:17 AM GMT
    At All Men: Let me confess myself to you all something. I have a few..insecurities of myself. And one of them being no guy would go out with me because of my Autism. I realize that there is someone for everyone if I prey to God. Anyway, just love yourself!
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Nov 21, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    My insecurity is that no one would like me cuz i English is not my first language. Therefore, the language barrier.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Nov 21, 2012 5:29 AM GMT
    so date "George" then cheat on him.
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Nov 21, 2012 5:32 AM GMT
    Well he admits he was insecure for a reason, though the fact he had to go such lengths is crazy but the mind works in mysterious way and who the hell knows how the heart works xD

    I would sya friendzone hi for the time being friendzone witrh the potential of something there. Talk to "george" explain that you ight ned to take a step back for a moment. Give it tim we all have our insecurities and they can drie us to do some crazy things to protect ourselves
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    Nov 21, 2012 5:32 AM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidMy insecurity is that no one would like me cuz i English is not my first language. Therefore, the language barrier.


    Aweeeeeee... I'll teach you English and you can have a NY accent haha icon_smile.gif As time goes by your speech will get better. Surround yourself with people who speak English as their Native language or watch American TV.

    I think they used to make telemarketers in other countries watch this show called FRIENDS to understand American culture better. You’re uber cute by the way ;)