How To Forget An Ex

  • helion26

    Posts: 12

    Nov 14, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    How do you guys move on after you meet a great guy? For more background, you can read below:

    Just got out of an 8 month long relationship...it was on and off though and had a lot of drama...mostly my fault. After things just ended so quickly, I tried to just be friends with him. I texted, waited in front of his place and even bought basketball tickets, which I had to just sell off immediately for a lower price. In the end, when I asked him if he wanted to see me, he said no.
    This is my first serious relationship ever, where it started out as a hookup and ended up being more serious. We were very physically active as well. Thinking back, I just realize that I missed out on a really great guy. He said he liked me at first and wanted to date me. He bought dinners. If only I had a time machine to go back and smack myself. Both of us were not out..although I was still experimenting and he had more experience with guys than I did. I guess what was devastating for me is that things ended so quickly. It's only been over a week since we last talked where I finally realized that he did not want to see me anymore, but I still have thoughts of us getting back together and about the good times we had. Maybe because its still new and he was my first serious relationship, but I don't know whether I can get over this guy. He was able to find another guy, which he seems serious about. I also hooked up with other guys as well, which I am not proud of. I guess I just need more time.

    For those that went through serious heartbreak, how did you guys move on? I appreciate all the comments in advance!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    I'm getting over something very similar. And the only time I don't think about it is when I work out or run... I've started to do both twice as much then before. And when I draw.

    But few days ago happened something that changed my life again, something maybe even worse then losing love of your life. And now I think about that a lot too. So my advice is live your life and it will provide you chances to forget... at least for some periods of time.

    But I'm new to all this, so I might be telling you BS.
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    Nov 14, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
    It sounds like this just happened and is still fresh. Breathe, relax, take a step back, and don't do anything that will sour things between the two of you. Give him some space and take some for yourself.

    I think the following things are true:

    1. You never "get over" your first love. You may not be with him but you'll always love him. You have to figure out how to accept that and deal with it in an adult way.

    2. Only time heals relationship wounds and a good rule of thumb is that it takes half the time you were in a relationship to be able to think about that relationship in a healthy way (i.e., takes three months for a six month relationship and two years for a four year relationship, etc.)
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    Nov 14, 2012 6:26 PM GMT
    Meth.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Nov 14, 2012 7:52 PM GMT
    I went thru a similar experience--Developed an intense attachment to a man who didn't return the feelings and moved on. It took me a long time to get over him. Somewhere around 6 mos to a year. We were friends for a bit after that, but now that friendship also fizzled after we became distanced.

    The only thing I can advice is to let time do its thing. Take it one day at a time. Don't 'hang in there'.. Don't approach again. Don't make contact. You can self-sabotage your healing by contacting him. You're going to draw on every milligram of inner strength to get over this guy, but you'll be glad you did when you meet a man that truly cares about you down the road.
  • Grubberboy

    Posts: 70

    Nov 14, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    No real answer for ya here buddy. All I can say, and this is cliche I know but, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved. I say this in all sincerity because prior to meeting my current bf, I had secretly fallen in love with one of my gay buddies and there was no possible way we could ever get together. I still see him on frequent occasions and despite having a really great bf, my heart still skips a bit when I see him. Time does heal all wounds but damn, sometimes it takes too long.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 8:21 PM GMT
    With lots of "Ohh's" with someone else's ex! icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 8:37 PM GMT
    sex with strangers

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    Love is beautiful. love is hell. Love is dead. Long live love.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Nov 14, 2012 8:53 PM GMT
    I read several of these posts a day and wonder..Are most gay guys addicted to drama????? Y'all fear aging but one benefit is maturity and the inability to put up with such BULLSHIT....How do ya get over an ex?...Time....lots of time..when you start feeling the tingling feelings of resolve..BAM...the ex...just a memory...BUD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 10:48 PM GMT
    Some guys just get drunk and sing "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey on repeat until the neighbors start banging on the door telling them to shut the fuck up. I have a, um, friend, who did that. He was a lot better the next day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2012 10:52 PM GMT
    helion26 said How To Forget An Ex
    Why would you want to? Use the experience as a learning tool for future relationships.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Nov 14, 2012 11:11 PM GMT
    Underground_Man saidSome guys just get drunk and sing "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey on repeat until the neighbors start banging on the door telling them to shut the fuck up. I have a, um, friend, who did that. He was a lot better the next day.


    icon_lol.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Nov 15, 2012 2:30 AM GMT
    I chose to break up with my 31 year old construction stud bf when he wasn't able to leave HER for me. I miss him so much. What was I thinking?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2012 2:31 AM GMT
    Have sex with me! icon_biggrin.gificon_razz.gificon_twisted.gif
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Nov 15, 2012 2:48 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    helion26 said How To Forget An Ex
    Why would you want to? Use the experience as a learning tool for future relationships.


    Sometimes Paul distills the truth of the situation better than anyone else.
  • LexLuthor

    Posts: 199

    Nov 15, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    You delete their number from your phone~ then they disappear from the world~

    but thats what I did deleted thier number and told them to not talk to me =) and now I've moved on....
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    Nov 15, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    Bury him in a very, very deep hole.
    Much easier to forget when they're dead or missing.
    I prefer missing... then I can fantasize about them being trapped in the trunk of a fiat.
  • helion26

    Posts: 12

    Nov 15, 2012 4:29 AM GMT
    Thank you all for your advice. I was looking at past text and emails earlier today...haha. I know I need to move on..was just curious how other guys did it. Thanks again!
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    Nov 15, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    *fiat*
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    Nov 15, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    kill him.... worked for me!! icon_wink.gif