For a variety of reasons, a lot of gay men, not all, but a super high majority, are seriously screwy. Whether they were bullied, or mistreated as sullen little children, or they felt "different" and never got over it, many are just nutty. They have no clue how to be real friends. So if you are having trouble connecting with the gays, consider yourself kind of lucky, because a large percentage of the gay men I have met in my life have no clue how to be friends or even how to be friendly.
Best advice I could offer is, well first, never expect to find healthy men online, that just does not happen. Get out and meet people face to face, in an environment where you are happy and secure, like an athletic sort of place, hiking, riding, running - something healthy, not a bar. People get behind a computer screen and they become different (yes, I am an example of this too) and you can not always trust who you are dealing with.
Get out and meet real people, not computer pretend people.