A roommate question

  • ohcub83

    Posts: 26

    Nov 16, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    So I have lived with my best friend and his wife for 7 years now...we share an apartment. I have dated very little in this time frame. I am almost 30 years old and I feel like I need to start really living my life. I lost a bunch of weight, started working on coming totally out and have met an amazing guy who I have been dating casually for about a month. I feel like I need to adress the fact that when the lease is up I need to move on in my life and I have mentioned it. They are treating me like I am abandoning them and I am the one at blame for wanting to move out on my own and try to become my own person. They are a big part of my life, but I feel trapped. Any advice? How do I tell them that it's time to move on and make them see that's it's not to hurt them, but it's about me living my life to its fullest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2012 9:45 PM GMT
    Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

    Yeah, you are plenty d enough to be out on your own..totally own.
  • NorthChinaLi

    Posts: 241

    Nov 17, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    ohcub83 saidSo I have lived with my best friend and his wife for 7 years now...we share an apartment. I have dated very little in this time frame. I am almost 30 years old and I feel like I need to start really living my life. I lost a bunch of weight, started working on coming totally out and have met an amazing guy who I have been dating casually for about a month. I feel like I need to adress the fact that when the lease is up I need to move on in my life and I have mentioned it. They are treating me like I am abandoning them and I am the one at blame for wanting to move out on my own and try to become my own person. They are a big part of my life, but I feel trapped. Any advice? How do I tell them that it's time to move on and make them see that's it's not to hurt them, but it's about me living my life to its fullest.




    only a month?
  • ohcub83

    Posts: 26

    Nov 17, 2012 1:17 PM GMT
    Yes only a month, but I am not saying that I want to move in with him. I just want to have my own place..and we still have six months left on our lease, so even if I did want to move in with him at the end of our lease that would put us at thd over 7 months of dating. I want them to have enough time to be financially ready for me to be out of the equation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 1:36 PM GMT
    By age thirty this rule should be obvious: never live with someone unless you are sleeping with them.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Nov 17, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    These two are obviously good friends. Ask them what their concerns are and address them. Are they dependent on your contribution to the rent and utilities to cover their costs? After seven years of joint habitation, they are probably emotionally involved. Maybe you need to set up a pseudo-"date night" to see them regularly after you move out, to ensure them that the friendship is still strong and important to you.

    I think it's very important to keep in mind that these two aren't just a couple of people you share an apartment with. He's your best friend and she's his wife (not sure how close you are to her). The arrangement is uncommon, given how long it's lasted. Talk it out but stand your ground. This is an important step for you and their continued emotional support can be really valuable after you move.

    And congratulations on the weight loss and getting yourself out their!