23 and never really had a relationship. normal or not?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 12:09 AM GMT
    I just can't seem to find the right guy. Even finding just a date seems to be a challenge. I think the area I live in is just very crappy and may not gay friendly
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    Nov 17, 2012 12:11 AM GMT
    Normal
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Nov 17, 2012 12:13 AM GMT
    Totally
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 17, 2012 12:22 AM GMT
    Normal ... finding a gay relationship really is a bit of a long shot. First there are less of us around then straight people, second a lot of people are still not out or confused. You are really going to have to actively pursue guys, and I mean, ask them to lunch, the movies, a play or what ever. Most of us are shy as hell, so actively seeking a date with someone is not generally going to happen. I know that every guy I ever had a relationship with, I had to make the first move, whether it was throw him up against the wall and start making out with him or asking him if he wanted to go to a movie. And then you can't just pursue the one time and hope he gets back with you. You have to pursue him again and again until he finally becomes addicted to you. But don't over pursue, if he doesn't want to go out with you, then drop it and move on to someone else.
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    Nov 17, 2012 12:27 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidNormal ... finding a gay relationship really is a bit of a long shot. First there are less of us around then straight people, second a lot of people are still not out or confused. You are really going to have to actively pursue guys, and I mean, ask them to lunch, the movies, a play or what ever. Most of us are shy as hell, so actively seeking a date with someone is not generally going to happen. I know that every guy I ever had a relationship with, I had to make the first move, whether it was throw him up against the wall and start making out with him or asking him if he wanted to go to a movie. And then you can't just pursue the one time and hope he gets back with you. You have to pursue him again and again until he finally becomes addicted to you. But don't over pursue, if he doesn't want to go out with you, then drop it and move on to someone else.


    I've tried all of those things but I just continually get rejected
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    Nov 17, 2012 12:33 AM GMT
    HA! You kids should be ecstactic with the life you have now. You have no idea of the isolation older gays grew in. NONE! But I hope you find a bf.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 17, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    CollegeDude27 said
    AMoonHawk said.


    I've tried all of those things but I just continually get rejected

    rejection is normal. Everyone has visions of big buff movie stars in their heads. In that way, it is more difficult now. When I was young our idols were the Marlbor man, so that was pretty easy to fit into. Now everyone wants some fit and buff. So if you are not, that is exactly what you are going to have to do, get fit and buff. The animal world is full of males trying to look better than all the others to attract a mate. Another thing is attitude. Don't ever let anyone know you feel down.
    Always be positive about everything. Never run others down. You have to fluff your feathers like a peacock, but still be able to stand your ground like a lion.
  • Superdeh

    Posts: 20

    Nov 17, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    Me too, I have 23 and never find someone that want a relationship with me, I just give up for now. I'm just studing keeping me busy,It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 17, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    it means you're a freak
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    It's normal.

    I'm 20, but don't think I'll be even out of the closet till I'm 23. Dating will take another year or so, so trust me, you're gonna be fine.
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Nov 17, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    You're normal. I haven't had one either.
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    Nov 17, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Very Normal.. I am 21 and Single.. Never been in a Relationship.. and I know many guys around my age who can say the same.. icon_smile.gif Wait for the Right time.. and the Right person ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    It's training you to be comfortable with yourself. Gay life is tough. Relationship rates are low and very likely to not work. Focus on your career first. Don't settle for less. I hate to say this but the gay life is so superficial, especially the petty cat fight............

    Main qualities:
    Health conscious
    Honesty/integrity
    Loving
    Respect

    If whoever you look for miss one of these qualities, it is a red flag.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 5:06 AM GMT
    I think dating, especially in the gay world is location location location. I mean, I live in Montana and there are absolutely no gay guys here. I've only been in one actual relationship and he was a whore and even did porn, which is retarded of me but anyway. Keep your chin up someone will come a long icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 5:07 AM GMT
    Normal. There are some guys that get into relationships in their early 20's, but most of these relationships don't last. The majority of guys who get into successful long term gay relationships are getting into them in their late 20's to mid 30's. That's not based on any scientific study (are there any?), but my personal observations. If you are lucky, and that's what you want, you might be one of the lucky ones who stumbles into the lasting relationship at an early age. In the meantime, enjoy the journey.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    I'm 29 and haven't had one. Don't feel bad,icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 17, 2012 5:11 AM GMT
    CollegeDude27 saidI just can't seem to find the right guy. Even finding just a date seems to be a challenge. I think the area I live in is just very crappy and may not gay friendly


    Im 23 and in the exact same situation. When you figure out what it is...please let me know.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Nov 17, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    You'll be forever alone.... I'm just kidding, it's perfectly normal, enjoy being single while you can. Relationships take ALOT of work!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 12:17 PM GMT
    completely normal
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 12:38 PM GMT
    omg im not alone, were just picky bitch!
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 17, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    Join the club. Same here. icon_sad.gif

    Forever alone icon_cry.gif
  • mrpandora

    Posts: 65

    Nov 17, 2012 1:22 PM GMT
    Don't fret... I know its frustrating but as you can see from the comments below, you are not alone icon_smile.gif Even though that makes it even more depressing...

    For me, i never had a real serious relationship until i was 30. the guys i dated never lasted longer than 3 months at best. But then i met my current bf and we have an amazing relationship for 5 years now...

    find solace in the fact that youre not alone. and it can happen anymoment icon_smile.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    Maybe you're just not dateable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 3:51 PM GMT
    Its perfectly normal. I've never been in a relationship until I was 25.
    Just keep at until you meet somebody right for you. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    Caslon21000 saidHA! You kids should be ecstactic with the life you have now. You have no idea of the isolation older gays grew in. NONE! But I hope you find a bf.


    This makes me sad. There are times when I feel lonely, I can only imagine what the older generation went through.