College isn't really going the way I thought...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    Here's a rant and then some self-analysis of my perception of gays I've encountered.

    There was this gay kid in one if my classes who I thought we got along well and he was kinda funny, but all of a sudden he started posting sassy stuff on my statuses on FB and one was very offensive and so when I called him out on it (I had his phone#) he ignored me. So then after he did another about a week litter I texted him and told him to stop being a gay little bitch and hiding behind a computer screen and if he has a problem he can come say it to my face. I was furious because I was nice to this kid in class and he starts randomly disrespecting me. He then sent a furious text asking where I was because he is going to find me and I told him I would be waiting outside my dorm building.

    So we met outside my dorm building, he pushes me and starts yelling at me and everyone is looking at him like he is crazy and I just stand there laughing in my head and acting bewildered by his hostility. He starts rambling about how I attacked him because he is gay and that he can get me expelled for bullying him because he is gay. Let's note he was the one who just pushed me which is assault. So then I tell him I'm gay and just because I don't flaunt myself and put my personal issues on other people's mind and I actually am secure with myself doesn't give him the right to criticize me. He literally froze when I said this. I then interrupt him and say straight to his face "Call me a gay bitch". I look sternly in his eyes with seriousness. Then he just goes off screaming "I like dick! I like dick!" And then leaves.

    I have seen and met some crazy gay people on my campus who act pretentious and pompous. I don't understand why people feel the need to identify themselves as gay. I don't view identify myself as gay. I don't stare at guys and think how much I want to bone him. I'm more focused on my studies and ambitious to start a small business and establish network connections for future jobs. I told this other gay kid I was gay and he didn't believe me. He just said "no you're not guy you're just curious." At times I feel like I'm an anomaly to gay society. I have not once met a gay in real life who I can possibly be good buddies with.

    Also, there is some prejudice here. There was this guy who I met at orientation (I have no sexual interest in him and he is straight). I ran into him at the gym and we ate afterwords and I paid for his food because he forgot his student ID in his dorm. We start talking and he tells me that 4 gay people have hit on him this year. I say thats crazy and that I don't know why people do that knowing the guy is straight (keep in mind these were guys who know him in the dorm). I then told him casually yea I'm gay too, but I don't approach every guy I see and try to hit on him. I respect everyone and I don't take advantage of others. Right after that he says he had to go back to his dorm. I felt like I made a big mistake and ruined a possible friendship there.

    College has been a rough adjustment for me. I don't really fit into the social scene. People care more about how much fun you like to have over personalities, passions, and interests. I am part of student clubs, but they rarely hold meetings and most of the communication is over emails. I'm disappointed that I chose to go to this college (which I am paying more for over other schools I got into which were a much higher rank). I ignored ranking aspects to go to this school because I figured I can still make a name out of myself here, but it is hard to do.

    I have friends who are at more prestigious schools and they are loving it there. I went to go visit a friend and I loved it. I was with like minded people who know how to balance social life and academics and who can actually hold intellectual conversations. At times I feel like I'm on old man because I value education and I love engaging in conversations about current events, but I only get along with my professors here and no one seems to care about what I say.

    Luckily, there is some good news in this story. My grades are excellent and my professors love me and one told me that she hasn't been impressed with a student like me in years. However, its hard being happy when only one part of the college experience is going well over other aspects.

    What do you guys think about this?
  • KarlosSuave

    Posts: 66

    Nov 18, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    At least you have good grades? and at least your not the token gay friend who since you are gay your friends automatically think you like all the other gay boys without even knowing them -_-

    I think you handle the kid well and don't worry about that guy your at a college with lots of people you'll find more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 6:07 AM GMT
    It sounds like life.

    The majority are impressed by shiny things and impressive titles. If you're actually capable of a little depth of character, those kinds of humans will be few and far between.
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Nov 18, 2012 6:45 AM GMT
    Thats college for you,

    personally thats life in general make choices and we learn from them. Though I can say that the kid attacking you was not only ridiculous but crazy and immature. Luckily though your grades are in good standing so it shouldnt be too much of a problem to switch with a few scholarships and such to help pave the way. Hope your college experience gets better!
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    Nov 18, 2012 6:53 AM GMT
    Alot of people transfer. You still have time to transfer to another school before next semester. Talk to your parents about it...contact the admissions at the school you would like to go to...then talk to your counselor and get the paper work started.
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:06 AM GMT
    RadRTT saidAlot of people transfer. You still have time to transfer to another school before next semester. Talk to your parents about it...contact the admissions at the school you would like to go to...then talk to your counselor and get the paper work started.


    I already started the process. My mom is fine with my decisions. Looking into transferring to Boston College, Notre Dame, or USC (cali). Notre Dame is #1 and I have a friend who graduated from there who will try and help. I'm scheduling a visit in January for them.
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:14 AM GMT
    sonicpower19 said

    I already started the process. My mom is fine with my decisions. Looking into transferring to Boston College, Notre Dame, or USC (cali). Notre Dame is #1 and I have a friend who graduated from there who will try and help. I'm scheduling a visit in January for them.
    Good, nice to know your doing something about it and not gonna remain unhappy...(there are people who do that)

    Notre Dame is a great school. My highschool was run by the brothers of Notre Dame and they are really open about a lot of things especially in the Catholic Church. So their good people!

    Boston College is a awesome school. I went to school in Boston. The city is basically a college city and theres so many other people in the city, if you dont like people in your college you can hang out with people in a different. (I hung out with so many Northeastern guys, some of them thought I went to North Eastern)! If you go there, send me a email, ill tell you great places to meet people in the city

    USC I have no idea.. But its cali...

    Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:19 AM GMT
    RadRTT said
    sonicpower19 said

    I already started the process. My mom is fine with my decisions. Looking into transferring to Boston College, Notre Dame, or USC (cali). Notre Dame is #1 and I have a friend who graduated from there who will try and help. I'm scheduling a visit in January for them.
    Good, nice to know your doing something about it and not gonna remain unhappy...(there are people who do that)

    Notre Dame is a great school. My highschool was run by the brothers of Notre Dame and they are really open about a lot of things especially in the Catholic Church. So their good people!

    Boston College is a awesome school. I went to school in Boston. The city is basically a college city and theres so many other people in the city, if you dont like people in your college you can hang out with people in a different. (I hung out with so many Northeastern guys, some of them thought I went to North Eastern)! If you go there, send me a email, ill tell you great places to meet people in the city

    USC I have no idea.. But its cali...

    Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Almost ended up in the Boston area. I almost went to Babson college. It was one of the colleges I was highly considering

    Notre Dame seems like an amazing school and I'm looking forward to my visit and to talk with the departments there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:23 AM GMT
    Well enjoy it. I also got into Notre Dame and I loved the school, but it didn't have the major I really wanted to go into. But youll probably end up falling in love with it! Have fun
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Nov 18, 2012 5:38 PM GMT
    Can u even transfer with less than 60 credits tho? Don't a lot of universities require that in order to transfer, one must have at least 60 transferrable credits?

    Keep the good work up on the grades tho. That will allow you options and flexibility and you'll be able to be admitted into more universities.

    USC tho? Damn, that's far.
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Nov 18, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    You might get a kick out of the book "I am Charlotte Simmons" by Tom Wolfe.
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Nov 18, 2012 6:17 PM GMT
    I'm not sure transferring is the solution to the problem just a way to potentially evade it. What you have written sounds like life in general. College is a rough adjustment for many people. Everyone goes through their trial and error period to see where they fit in. Its easier for some than it is for others. There are good people everywhere you just have to really make an effort to seek them out.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 18, 2012 6:19 PM GMT
    here's some honest advice: undergraduate education doesn't matter. seriously, it's just high school with less supervision. no matter where you study there will be dumb people. and at the end of the day, you'll get a degree no one will ever look at. take it all with a grain of salt.
  • chris_hasting...

    Posts: 197

    Nov 18, 2012 6:20 PM GMT
    sonicpower19 said
    RadRTT saidAlot of people transfer. You still have time to transfer to another school before next semester. Talk to your parents about it...contact the admissions at the school you would like to go to...then talk to your counselor and get the paper work started.


    I already started the process. My mom is fine with my decisions. Looking into transferring to Boston College, Notre Dame, or USC (cali). Notre Dame is #1 and I have a friend who graduated from there who will try and help. I'm scheduling a visit in January for them.


    i'm near notre dame icon_biggrin.gif

    its more prestigious but depending on what you are majoring in wouldn't be a great idea.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 18, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Well let me say, consider all carefully before you make changes. I remember, I had a rough time adjusting to life in college the first few weeks, but by October, I was in pretty good shape. LOVED the private school and had a really great time.

    That said, if you decide to transfer, evaluate it on a couple of levels... 1) Major, courses, what you are receiving for your money.. how this is going to benefit you. You are there to get your degree, make sure if you change schools, it will be a wise decision

    2) The social scene.. clearly you are disappointed at present, but don't get caught up in a "grass is greener" syndrome. Visit several times and make sure this also.. is a wise decision.

    I would also encourage you to give your current school a real fair shake.. I'd go the whole year, not transfer at semester. Just make sure you know you are making the right decision on all levels.. sounds like financially it might make sense.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 6:33 PM GMT
    Transfer. It's really not hard to find your major in most universities- assuming you are going for a business administration/liberal arts major. What would help would be to consult Princeton Review as well as The Advocate for gay-friendly universities, because even though I regard my university as somewhat of a joke, I'll give them the benefit of being relatively gay friendly with a very good business program.
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    Nov 18, 2012 6:33 PM GMT
    I chose to start out at a private college and loved it/hated it at the same time. I like you care about grades over partying. I have since transferred to another college that was very big and then transferred last semester again. It's quite diverse but like you say, the gay kids are GAY and everyone knows it. I feel like I'm in 2nd grade and they are announcing that they are the only ones with the New set of Nikes! I'm gay but don't feel like I need to tell it, I mean straight guys dont walk around saying hey, I'm straight. Lol I get along better with straight guys anyway. Lost a few friends that have since "discovered" my sexual preference but really they were never friends anyway. I've been to a private school, Ga Tech, and now VSU. Point is no ones college experience is ever what you thought it would be. Each school is quite different but I've always encountered the same results. Keep your head in the books and aim for all A's!
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Nov 18, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    @sonic
    What Calibro said is partly true. For most people, post-undergrad education is much more important to their lives. Your post gives the impression you are an over-achiever. If so, consider transferring to a tough, high-standards school. Of course where you go to school may depend on your economics. It's possible that there is less financial aid for transfer students. I went to a small and expensive liberal arts and sciences college where 90%+ of the students went on to graduate or professional schools - and (they say) no qualified student is not able to attend because of financial inability. All the students there were too busy studying to engage in the sort of silly behaviour that seems to go on where you go to school now. My school is no different today than when I attended. There are lots of great colleges like that out there.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Nov 18, 2012 7:25 PM GMT
    calibro saidhere's some honest advice: undergraduate education doesn't matter. seriously, it's just high school with less supervision. no matter where you there will be dumb people. and at the end of the day, you'll get a degree no one will ever look at. take it all with a grain of salt.


    also, from what you've (TC) written, you seem to be more mature.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:37 PM GMT
    Welcome to life. It's a jungle out there; and you've just experienced your first wild animal. There will be more.

    So far you seem to be handling it quite well. Continue to do so and you'll have a fun life. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:39 PM GMT
    Thanks guys for the response. Here is some more information about myself.

    The reason why I think transferring is a good option is because those schools are higher ranked in the fields I want to study and they will offer me more $$. I came from a private college prep school and I loved my HS experience. All 150 of us in my grade were close with one another and there was never serious confrontation. We were like one big family. People have this predisposition that private school kids are stuck up, but I never got that feeling at my HS. The decision to go there was one of the best decisions ever because it made my college academic experience much more smoother.

    I am pursuing a double major in Film and Marketing. Notre Dame seems to be the best option because they have a joint degree program (which I didn't know though they had), one of the strongest alumni networks, and a close knit community. I have a friend who graduated from there and another that currently goes there and they loved it. It is a sister school of my current university and I love their emphasis on philosophy and their liberal arts requirements.

    At my current school I would only be able to get a minor in film and marketing major to graduate in 4 years. A double major here would require me to take a 5th year which is more $$$ and I don't want to do that. The other schools offer a more rigorous educational experience and would allow me to pursue a double major in both fields and graduate within 4 years.

    P.S: I only need at least 24 credits to transfer, so I'm set by the end of this school year.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 18, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    sonicpower19 said

    I am pursuing a double major in Film and Marketing.


    as i said, it's basically a joke to consider an undergrad degree as being the end-all for what you're studying. further, if you're considering film and marketing, you do realize most elite universities don't offer marketing as a major for a reason; as for film, unless your school is named ucla, usc, or nyu, no one is paying attention (at the graduate level). it's great that notre dame offers what you want to study, but, one, good luck with the gay and catholic thing, and, two, if you're trying to compete in those industries based off undergrad alone, you're not going to be up to snuff compared to the more elite programs. sounds like you're moving from subway to quiznos.
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    Nov 18, 2012 8:47 PM GMT
    "I don't understand why people feel the need to identify themselves as gay. I don't view identify myself as gay. I don't stare at guys and think how much I want to bone him. I'm more focused on my studies and ambitious to start a small business and establish network connections for future jobs."

    And you say you are not pretentious. Seriously? To me you are the definition of pretentious.
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    Nov 18, 2012 8:51 PM GMT
    "I'm disappointed that I chose to go to this college (which I am paying more for over other schools I got into which were a much higher rank). I ignored ranking aspects to go to this school because I figured I can still make a name out of myself here, but it is hard to do."

    Yeah right!! I totally believe that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 8:52 PM GMT
    What if there isn't a 'thought way' of going to college?

    -I've been to three universities. The first I quit after almost three years; I couldn't stand that place, but I realize today it was me I couldn't stand.

    -The second took five more years with a double major that landed me a job making $9.50/hr.

    -The third is where I'm at now, and after ten years of school I realize this is how it was supposed to happen. I'm in the third year of my doctorate. I've seen and done many more things than my cohort.

    It's a process.