How do you go about finding the one?

  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Nov 18, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    Most of us seem to agree on the other thread that we long for the one. But on a practical level, what do you do to find him?

    I have been single for the last three-plus years, and try to meet men with bf potential; that is, they're roughly in the same stage of their life, i.e., mid-career professionals, who have similar interests (sports, cooking and entertaining, etc.), and are a reasonably good match personality-wise.

    But the pool of local datable men seems very limited; it's always the same five men or so that I run into at parties, and sites like match.com seem to turn up only fat losers with little compatibility, their advertising notwithstanding. And going through Grindr etc. is like kissing or rather fucking an awful lot of frogs, with virtually no chance of finding a prince.

    Any suggestions?
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Nov 18, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    Whipmagic saidMost of us seem to agree on the other thread that we long for the one. But on a practical level, what do you do to find him?

    I have been single for the last three-plus years, and try to meet men with bf potential; that is, they're roughly in the same stage of their life, i.e., mid-career professionals, who have similar interests (sports, cooking and entertaining, etc.), and are a reasonably good match personality-wise.

    But the pool of local datable men seems very limited; it's always the same five men or so that I run into at parties, and sites like match.com seem to turn up only fat losers with little compatibility, their advertising notwithstanding. And going through Grindr etc. is like kissing or rather fucking an awful lot of frogs, with virtually no chance of finding a prince.

    Any suggestions?


    I love how u refer to your idea of non-datable men as fat losers.
    I mean, how old are u?
    I would have said something like that when I was 19 or so. It just came off as ridiculous sounding.

    Maybe u too high of expectations? Perhaps those fat losers could slim down a bit for u..... because you indicated you like cooking so u could cook them low-fat meals n shit.

    And grow and mold that fat loser into "the one"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:01 PM GMT
    Find it in yourself first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 7:29 PM GMT
    Whipmagic saidMost of us seem to agree on the other thread that we long for the one. But on a practical level, what do you do to find him?

    I have been single for the last three-plus years, and try to meet men with bf potential; that is, they're roughly in the same stage of their life, i.e., mid-career professionals, who have similar interests (sports, cooking and entertaining, etc.), and are a reasonably good match personality-wise.

    But the pool of local datable men seems very limited; it's always the same five men or so that I run into at parties, and sites like match.com seem to turn up only fat losers with little compatibility, their advertising notwithstanding. And going through Grindr etc. is like kissing or rather fucking an awful lot of frogs, with virtually no chance of finding a prince.

    Any suggestions?


    Yep. The Doug Method

    I went out almost every night, usually about 10. My rule was I had to talk to one person, man, woman, old, young, fat, skinny, tall, short, handsome, plain; it didn't matter. All that mattered was a few minutes of exploring someone other than myself. I learned a lot in those five years about people and myself, and met over a thousand people.
    Once I'd talked to someone for about 10 minutes I was free to return home, which I made a point of doing unless I was having a really, really great time.
    Often when I went out at 10 I was back home in bed by 11.

    During this time I met some great men, sometimes through people that I'd met and talked to.
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Nov 18, 2012 8:19 PM GMT
    Import said
    I love how u refer to your idea of non-datable men as fat losers.
    I mean, how old are u?
    I would have said something like that when I was 19 or so. It just came off as ridiculous sounding.

    Maybe u too high of expectations? Perhaps those fat losers could slim down a bit for u..... because you indicated you like cooking so u could cook them low-fat meals n shit.

    And grow and mold that fat loser into "the one"



    Woah, that seem to hit a nerve... And I stand by it. I will not date someone who doesn't have his life together, that is, colloquially referred to as a loser, or someone who cannot take care of his body. And hoping that you can change someone just isn't an option - I have never seen a case where that worked.

    As to the first, I'm looking for someone roughly my age, and if you don't have your life together at age 40, it's just sad. I was in a relationship with a man once who couldn't hold on to any job, racked up DUIs, credit card debt, etc., and I was constantly trying to get him out of messes of his making. It drained my in every way, and I won't go anywhere near someone like that again.

    As to the second, there has to be some physical attraction. And I'm sorry, but I just don't find fat men appealing at all. I can deal with a few extra pounds on someone, but outright fat, no way. Also, it feeds a bit into my first point: if you can't even take care of your body, I wonder what else he can't take care of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2012 10:16 PM GMT
    That's why I'd only date guys who are already in relationships.
    If a guy has been single for a few years, it's a red flag that he has intimacy issues.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 19, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    i spend all my time on here