tmac saidyou're worried about being perceived as close minded and self loathing. really think about what matsu is asking you and be honest with yourself
it seems to me that you've associated a stigma to what gay/bi black men are which is why you're unlikely to give them a shot unless they can prove right off the bat that they're an exception to those stigmas.
So what im saying is that other people might share the same views as you which of course may work against you especially if you like the guy.
You're right I do have some preconceived notions that I don't particularly like that I have since the same thoughts could be slung right back at me. But at the same time I have tried to put it behind me before and it has always back fired on me. Either he was on the DL and didn't want his girl to know but could still fuck or he was so into that closet that he expanded it to a studio apartment, lol.
But I know that everyone is not represntative of the men I've been with. Cause I've seen and been with white assholes as well.
However my original question wasn't so much referring to what I thought about them because I have prejudgments about everyone even though I know I shouldn't. I meant more that by and large I don't really find myself attracted to other black. There are some exceptions but physically I don't find myself attracted to them. That's why I was asking if maybe that meant on some level I'm not aware of that I secretly dislike myself and my own race.
But you guys have certainly given some really good points and advice.