I don't know what is wrong with me

  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Nov 20, 2012 6:22 AM GMT
    So, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 7:48 AM GMT
    Awww, you and me both brother. Come to Hawaii sometime and we can bitch and moan about the same things. Haha icon_cool.gif

    Not to mention you are uberley cute and just my cup of tea.
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Nov 20, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    hHahah yeah I got that so often but maybe I'm just photogenic lmao. But yeah it's kinda sad, I guess i'm not interesting enough as a person. How can i be interesting?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 20, 2012 3:11 PM GMT
    bad breath?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidMaybe the thing that's wrong with you, the thing that's causing you all these problems, the situation that is untenable and can't continue without ultimately suffocating you is.....that you think that something is wrong with you. icon_confused.gif If guys don't "get you", then it is AWESOME that they are "self deporting" their asses out of your life, hahahha.

    Keep being you're natural incredible self....eventually you'll figure out the frequency that causes like-minded individuals to see you for icon you are, the icon that each of us is....and it's those guys you want to pay attention to.

    Radiate...your man will find you. icon_wink.gif


    Exactly. Don't be afraid of being passionate about your likes and hobbies.
    It comes off as confidence and it's attractive. And if you're already doing that,
    then maybe you need to leave them hanging on a few dates. Don't spill your "beans" too quickly icon_lol.gif
  • winwin

    Posts: 264

    Nov 20, 2012 3:49 PM GMT
    Maybe you just haven't met the right one yet?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    If everyone liked you then there is something wrong. Being your normal, everyday self is often a full time job, and if you're doing it right-- not everyone will like you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    sorry to hear that bro.i came out to several friends and a cuz,i havent come out as yet to my family..... but well,if they ignore u,screw em and continue ur life bro.ur fun n awesome u say,dont care what they think.jus chill n relax n move on.......
  • chris_hasting...

    Posts: 197

    Nov 20, 2012 3:58 PM GMT
    i have the same problem except instead of them never responding all they want is to suck my dick :/
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 20, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidMaybe the thing that's wrong with you, the thing that's causing you all these problems, the situation that is untenable and can't continue without ultimately suffocating you is.....that you think that something is wrong with you. icon_confused.gif If guys don't "get you", then it is AWESOME that they are "self deporting" their asses out of your life, hahahha.

    Keep being you're natural incredible self....eventually you'll figure out the frequency that causes like-minded individuals to see you for icon you are, the icon that each of us is....and it's those guys you want to pay attention to.

    Radiate...your man will find you. icon_wink.gif



    Yourname2000 nailed it! Especially ,where he states "self deporting their a**es out of your life"; this is a happy thing! Basic salesmanship demands the realization that "every no-answer, brings you closer to the next Yes-answer." Therefore, your problem is, simply, not thinking straight (no puns intended).

    My personal opinion is that you don't place enough value (interest) on the things you are into; when you succeed in a greater self value, you will radiate this confidence and people WILL take notice. Additionally, I suggest you take up SSSurfer's invitation; there is little talking required while surfing!

    Good Luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidMaybe the thing that's wrong with you, the thing that's causing you all these problems, the situation that is untenable and can't continue without ultimately suffocating you is.....that you think that something is wrong with you. icon_confused.gif If guys don't "get you", then it is AWESOME that they are "self deporting" their asses out of your life, hahahha.

    Keep being you're natural incredible self....eventually you'll figure out the frequency that causes like-minded individuals to see you for icon you are, the icon that each of us is....and it's those guys you want to pay attention to.

    Radiate...your man will find you. icon_wink.gif


    This applies to more than just romantic relationships - this should be a dogma for life! Very well put.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Nov 20, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidMaybe the thing that's wrong with you, the thing that's causing you all these problems, the situation that is untenable and can't continue without ultimately suffocating you is.....that you think that something is wrong with you. icon_confused.gif If guys don't "get you", then it is AWESOME that they are "self deporting" their asses out of your life, hahahha.

    Keep being you're natural incredible self....eventually you'll figure out the frequency that causes like-minded individuals to see you for icon you are, the icon that each of us is....and it's those guys you want to pay attention to.

    Radiate...your man will find you. icon_wink.gif


    So well said. I love it when RJers give people good feedback. icon_smile.gif Restores my hope in humanity.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    SSSurfer saidAwww, you and me both brother. Come to Hawaii sometime and we can bitch and moan about the same things. Haha icon_cool.gif

    Not to mention you are uberley cute and just my cup of tea.


    Show of hands: Who here thinks that anyone living in Hawaii does NOT gets to bitch and moan about anything ? icon_rolleyes.gif
    handsup.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 5:51 PM GMT
    Sometimes the chemistry it's not there. Pictures and skype cannot replace the in person experience.
  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Nov 20, 2012 5:56 PM GMT
    borgiaczar saidSometimes the chemistry it's not there. Pictures and skype cannot replace the in person experience.


    I agree with this one.
    Picture and video calls are not a sure-fire way of translating your image and personality in person.
    Maybe they had a different expectation of you upon meeting. Who knows, could be a lot of reasons.
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Nov 20, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone for your feedback. I'm going to pick up a new hobby ( any suggestion?) and for now just focusing on gym and school. So just wondering, what do you think, makes a guy interesting?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 6:36 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRiteShow of hands: Who here thinks that anyone living in Hawaii does NOT gets to bitch and moan about anything ?


    Haha. well everything is greener on the island in the middle of the sea.

    As for hobbies Mr. s1lovesyou. Since you are a swimmer, I think going to a masters club is a good way to meet people who like to do the same thing. And if that is not working for you...water polo is fun sport that on a side note, is a good way to check people out.

    Both ways are a good form of cardio and interaction with other people.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Nov 20, 2012 6:45 PM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidThanks everyone for your feedback. I'm going to pick up a new hobby ( any suggestion?) and for now just focusing on gym and school. So just wondering, what do you think, makes a guy interesting?

    Not sure its a good idea to set out to "make yourself" interesting. The assumption is you aren't "interesting" already. Probably not true. It is true you won't be interesting to everybody but as was pointed out, that's a good thing.

    The real question is, what interests you? You're young and may not really know yet but just pay attention to what gets your attention and holds it. Then follow that. You also need to accept and appreciate your personality type. We're not all extroverts or have astounding social skills. The latter can be learned. It's just a matter of practice and being willing to taking some risks -- like joining this forum and putting yourself out there and seeing what happens. We all learn from the things we try. Sometimes we make mistakes and learn from those, too.

    Don't fret about it too much. You're great the way you are and you'll only get better with time. Soon you may have more friends and buddies than you know what to do with LoL!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 6:48 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said Who here thinks that anyone living in Hawaii does NOT gets to bitch and moan about anything ? icon_rolleyes.gif
    handsup.jpg


    Lol. The saying is, "Lucky we live Hawai'i.

    I lived in Hawai'i for four years and while the weather can be beautiful and many people are quite lovely, it can be a surprisingly difficult place to live. High cost of living, low wages, difficulty in access to goods and services, and (believe it or not) a lot of racism. Be happy with what you have.

    OP, you could be just fishing in the wrong ponds. Try to meet some guys places other than online and bars - through common interests and hobbies, for example.

    Good luck. The longer you stay at it, the more friends and boyfriends you'll find.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 20, 2012 7:14 PM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidThanks everyone for your feedback. I'm going to pick up a new hobby ( any suggestion?) and for now just focusing on gym and school. So just wondering, what do you think, makes a guy interesting?


    Confident men are always interesting . . .

    Take up WaterPolo !
  • FitGwynedd

    Posts: 1468

    Nov 20, 2012 7:23 PM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidThanks everyone for your feedback. I'm going to pick up a new hobby ( any suggestion?) and for now just focusing on gym and school. So just wondering, what do you think, makes a guy interesting?


    What kind of things interest you?
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Nov 20, 2012 7:27 PM GMT
    hahahah I am thinking of cooking/ baking, and badminton or table tennis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 7:37 PM GMT
    I think I kind of have the opposite issue that you have.

    I hardly chat with people online but I usually end up chatting and schmoozing (which is quite fun) with people that I find in the real world.

    But the solution that I believe applies to both of us. I think a great way to meet with people is to meet them in sports club or even do some volunteer works.

    I also believe that it takes patience and time to expand your network of friends. Then your friends will introduce to their friends and usually those ones are easier to relate.

    I live in TO, compared to other cities, people are more reserved than other big cities I lived (Sao Paulo, NYC, Hong Kong, Montreal, etc.)

    But that shouldn't stop us to know people icon_smile.gif

    My 2 cents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidSo, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.
    .

    Some guys have this thought that when a guy is just coming out they have a process they need to go through before they are dating material. I happen to agree. Also these guys may be looking for more of a hook up, & are afraid that you being new will want more, or grow attached. It's not to hurt you, but to they have most likely experienced this themselves, & don't want to go down that road. Hang in there, I'm pretty sure it's not in you. The coming out process is more then just acknowledging who you are. It's almost like a second adolescence. Just be open, have fun, enjoy the ride, & you'll do just fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2012 10:15 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidMaybe the thing that's wrong with you, the thing that's causing you all these problems, the situation that is untenable and can't continue without ultimately suffocating you is.....that you think that something is wrong with you. icon_confused.gif If guys don't "get you", then it is AWESOME that they are "self deporting" their asses out of your life, hahahha.

    Keep being your natural incredible self....eventually you'll figure out the frequency that causes like-minded individuals to see you for icon you are, the icon that each of us is....and it's those guys you want to pay attention to.

    Radiate...your man will find you. icon_wink.gif

    Oh yeah take his advice. He reeled his guy in at 46!