Bi men cheating with opposite sex

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2012 10:49 PM GMT
    I've always wondered that if you were going out with a bi guy and he says to you that he cheated on you with a woman. Would you get mad? I mean he IS bi to begin with. And it's not as if you can compete against a woman. What are your thoughts?
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    Nov 20, 2012 10:51 PM GMT
    It's uneasy and nerve racking. It's why dating bisexual requires so much trust. If it's not bad enough that they cheated on you, it's bad that they cheated on you with someone who can provide something that you can never provide for them.

    So yes. I would be more angry (And upset) if someone cheated on me with a woman.
  • Pontifex

    Posts: 1882

    Nov 20, 2012 10:53 PM GMT
    If you are in a monogamous relationship cheating is cheating. You don't get a pass because you are bi. It is like saying you cheated because you wanted to sleep with a blond guy. If you aren't in a monogamous relationship it would depend on the rules you agreed to.
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    Nov 20, 2012 10:54 PM GMT
    bi or gay or straight....cheating on your partner is wrong...has nothing to do with sexual orientation....my opinion
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    Nov 20, 2012 10:58 PM GMT
    I can't picture myself dating a bi guy, it's a turn off for me (sorry!). The life as a gay man in this world is already complicated and tough, if you know what I mean.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Nov 21, 2012 3:01 AM GMT
    Pontifex saidIf you are in a monogamous relationship cheating is cheating. You don't get a pass because you are bi. It is like saying you cheated because you wanted to sleep with a blond guy. If you aren't in a monogamous relationship it would depend on the rules you agreed to.


    Pretty much this. Me personally, I don't know if I could handle that. Sure, it's the opposite sex but in the back of my mind, I'd be thinking "what if I can't give him everything he wants" and sure enough, it is true, I wouldn't be able to give him everything he wanted to be happy and he'd be stuck with me so I would probably not stay with him.

    Like DoNotTumnble said, life as a gay man is hard enough already so added pressure like that can definitely be more of a hassle to deal with.
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    Nov 21, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    DoNotTumble saidI can't picture myself dating a bi guy, it's a turn off for me (sorry!). The life as a gay man in this world is already complicated and tough, if you know what I mean.


    DAMN RIGHT.

    you spend youre whole life in a straight world. why date someone half in it lolol
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 21, 2012 3:08 AM GMT
    I don't think bi guys are any more likely to cheat than straight or gay guys. A cheater is a cheater, completely independent of their sexuality.

    Dating a bisexual requires no more trust than anyone else.
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    Nov 21, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Yes. And dumbfounded. Why a guy that likes guys more than women will decide to marry a woman but have flings with guys since his new wife is fat and not so attractive anymore.
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    Nov 21, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    Medjai saidI don't think bi guys are any more likely to cheat than straight or gay guys. A cheater is a cheater, completely independent of their sexuality.

    Dating a bisexual requires no more trust than anyone else.


    ^This
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    Nov 21, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    Medjai saidI don't think bi guys are any more likely to cheat than straight or gay guys. A cheater is a cheater, completely independent of their sexuality.

    Dating a bisexual requires no more trust than anyone else.


    I agree that a cheater is a cheater.

    As for bisexuals that raises an interesting situation. I could theoretically see a bi guy who is happy with his gay man and doesn't have any interest in cheating with another guy since he already has a guy. But if he is also sexually attracted to women, he doesn't have anything in hand to compensate for that, giving him the urge to fool around with women.

    There have been married bi guys on RJ whose wives let their guys pursue their interest with gay men. Then there are those who are married to women as heteros, but realize that they are gay, or bi, and are on RJ as an exploratory phase in their life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 21, 2012 3:44 AM GMT
    Hell no.

    They got what you'll never have. Why would you ever be jealous of a pussy/tits when you can't compete with that ? Variety is the spice of life and men are dogs.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Nov 21, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    as long as he doesn't mind you cheating on him with another guy it's okay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    1. Cheating is cheating.
    2. In no relationship is competing with anyone, male or female, considered a healthy relationship nor is it likely to go long term.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    It's all about the conversations and the agreements.
  • tturner2099

    Posts: 108

    Nov 21, 2012 4:18 AM GMT
    My ex had a lot of problems accepting that I am bisexual. He was constantly questioning me and was very insecure about it. I can semi understand where someone is coming from about it, but at the end of the day, if you think the person your in a relationship with is going to cheat, that's the issue in itself.

    As for me, I would never cheat on someone I'm committed to. I know of guys who use the "but you can't satisfy me" card. I just want to punch them when I hear it.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:26 AM GMT
    tturner2099 saidMy ex had a lot of problems accepting that I am bisexual. He was constantly questioning me and was very insecure about it. I can semi understand where someone is coming from about it, but at the end of the day, if you think the person your in a relationship with is going to cheat, that's the issue in itself.

    As for me, I would never cheat on someone I'm committed to. I know of guys who use the "but you can't satisfy me" card. I just want to punch them when I hear it.


    Yeah I agree with Turner. Most guys have really hard time with it. Being bi I find that both males and females have issues with it. Drives me nuts because I am always committed in a relationship, no matter what gender. I don't long for women when I am with men and vice versa. Not a cheater and never will be. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    Medjai saidI don't think bi guys are any more likely to cheat than straight or gay guys. A cheater is a cheater, completely independent of their sexuality.

    Dating a bisexual requires no more trust than anyone else.



    Pretty words; but they just don't wash in the real world. If your partner's a gay man, at least he's getting to have sex with a man (you). With a truly bisexual man, you're basically asking him to be celibate as far as his attraction to females go. A true bisexual will feel deprived and is therefore more inclined to cheat. To think the two scenarios are equal is just sticking your head in the sand. I'll have sex with a bi guy but I wouldn't date one in a million years.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 21, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    Simply put, I'd be a cad if I demanded my husband be abstinent from dating females. Hopefully, we'd settle-in w/ the same fem & raise a family. Simple, right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    Why would anyone date a bi guy?

    To me it's like dating a porn star or bartender. Hot idea at first but not something for the long term.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    I had a guy wanting to cheat on his girlfriend with me. Apparently I can compete. Does that count? BTW I didn't do it because that's messed up.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 21, 2012 4:48 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Medjai saidI don't think bi guys are any more likely to cheat than straight or gay guys. A cheater is a cheater, completely independent of their sexuality.

    Dating a bisexual requires no more trust than anyone else.



    Pretty words; but they just don't wash in the real world. If your partner's a gay man, at least he's getting to have sex with a man (you). With a truly bisexual man, you're basically asking him to be celibate as far as his attraction to females go. A true bisexual will feel deprived and is therefore more inclined to cheat. To think the two scenarios are equal is just sticking your head in the sand. I'll have sex with a bi guy but I wouldn't date one in a million years.


    Your loss. My boyfriend is bi, and we are very happy together. I'm hardly worried about him cheating either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:51 AM GMT
    Medjai said
    Scruffypup said
    Medjai saidI don't think bi guys are any more likely to cheat than straight or gay guys. A cheater is a cheater, completely independent of their sexuality.

    Dating a bisexual requires no more trust than anyone else.



    Pretty words; but they just don't wash in the real world. If your partner's a gay man, at least he's getting to have sex with a man (you). With a truly bisexual man, you're basically asking him to be celibate as far as his attraction to females go. A true bisexual will feel deprived and is therefore more inclined to cheat. To think the two scenarios are equal is just sticking your head in the sand. I'll have sex with a bi guy but I wouldn't date one in a million years.


    Your loss. My boyfriend is bi, and we are very happy together. I'm hardly worried about him cheating either.



    Well, I'm not saying every bi guy is a cheater. I'm sure your boyfriend is very faithful to you. I'm just saying I think the likelihood of it is much higher with a bisexual (generally speaking).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    The guy is Bi, meaning he enjoys relations with both sexes. Of course he will be polyamorous. It would be unreasonable to expect otherwise.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    So it's ok forbids to cheat with women? What about men in drag? Pre-ops? Men who act like women?
    Shouldn't big men also get a pass for cheating with men also? Conventional wisdom says that bisexuals are all sexual addicts and that's why they can't limit themselves to just being attracted to one sex or the other.

    How about this, if you can't be monogamous, then don't do a monogamous relationship. If you're supposed to monogamous than cheating with anyone, regardless of the sex, is cheating.