Should it be called gay pride or gay not-ashemedness (< made up word)?

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    Sep 08, 2008 6:14 PM GMT
    For those of you who are not aware of it, there is a website dedicated to gay gamers (gaygamers.net), which causes a lot of interesting discussion. I know of a lot of people that hear that there is such a website and say "what is the point of that site? don't gay people want to be treated like everyone else? why would gay people want to separate themselves from other gamers by telling the entire world they're gay? why put yourself at risk of being called names by flaunting the fact that you're gay".

    I think these questions are pretty interesting. It does seem sort of contradictory to say that we want to be treated equally and then have gay gamer sites, gay sports leagues, a gay pride parade, etc. At times, and especially to those outside the gay community, it looks like we're showing off we're gay. A lot of people also have a problem with the term "gay pride" because to them it sounds as though we're saying gay is better.

    My purpose in posting this thread is that I've seen that many gay people also wonder why there's a need for a "gay" anything. I have my own answers to this questions, but I was wondering what you guys think on the subject.

    What exactly do we mean by gay pride? What's the purpose of having gay versions of groups?
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    Sep 08, 2008 6:16 PM GMT
    Gay affirmation or gay acceptance are fine. I don't mind gay pride, but a few gay people I have met over the years border on the arrogant and obnoxious. What is really irritating is that they are mainly like that around other gay people! Narcissism and self-centredness perhaps?
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    Sep 08, 2008 8:38 PM GMT
    This is an ancient debate on liberationism versus legitimationism. The reality is that both approaches are bankrupt without the other. Regrettably very few people seem to be capable of seeing this.
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    Sep 08, 2008 9:03 PM GMT
    dowal saidFor those of you who are not aware of it, there is a website dedicated to gay gamers (gaygamers.net), which causes a lot of interesting discussion. I know of a lot of people that hear that there is such a website and say "what is the point of that site? don't gay people want to be treated like everyone else? why would gay people want to separate themselves from other gamers by telling the entire world they're gay? why put yourself at risk of being called names by flaunting the fact that you're gay".

    I think these questions are pretty interesting.

    I'll disagree and say in my opinion, those questions aren't interesting, nor are they original.

    They are the kind of questions people ask when they're being willfully obtuse. It's in the same vein as conservative talk radio hosts who facetiously ponder, "Why do we need a Black Miss America? Hasn't the civil rights movement been about bringing people together and erasing racial differences?"

    It's the kind of question that sounds compelling at first take, but it's not. It's a tired old argument by those who simply mean they despise minority groups (blacks or gays) being so visible.

    Their view is that gays should just go back in the closet and let the rest of the world go on presuming that you're straight.
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    Sep 08, 2008 11:40 PM GMT
    I haven't been long enough for the gay pride things, let alone having an answer to a parade I've never seen.

    But, I can tell you about the gay clubs. I go to a university in Blacksburg, Virginia and I have a lot of fun. Its an extremely cool place to be. The only problem is I don't really know any gay guys like me.

    Sure, I went to an LGBTA meeting and there were a few gay guys, but they were not my crowd. That is the purpose of the gay sports club and all that. If my university had one, I'd probably go or at least check it out. I would not check it out because I want to be different. Even when a class assignment would have been improved by a discussion of my sexuality I did not include it because I won't force my case on strangers, but my friends know. And my friends are cool with it and I have fun with them. Its just, kind of lonely not knowing any other gays who share my interests and to hang out with.
  • chitown_mofo

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    Sep 08, 2008 11:51 PM GMT
    For the purposes of mating, it is good to have Gay stuff. Gay sports leagues, gay cruises, etc. But there definately is a point when it becomes self-isolating.

    See the discussion on the rainbow flag (which i almost got crucified for starting). Theres some touching on how some efforts of the gay community to unite can actually isolate...

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/280732/

    Some people, I've found, need to do EVERYTHING gay. But its nice to have a few socialization options other than bars/clubs.
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    Sep 09, 2008 12:48 AM GMT

    Everything I do is gay because.... I am gay.


    Reminds me of the time some friends and I went to the Nectarine, which back then was gay 3 nights a week. So me, a friend and his "fag hag" were walking in and the bouncer felt compelled to warn us: "you know it's gay night tonight". My friend, not missing a beat, responded: "for some of us it's gay night every night!"

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    Sep 09, 2008 3:01 AM GMT
    Global_Citizen said
    I'll disagree and say in my opinion, those questions aren't interesting, nor are they original.


    I didn't really make it clear as to why I think they're interesting. You kind of hit on it yourself:

    Global_Citizen said
    It's the kind of question that sounds compelling at first take, but it's not.


    The reason why I find those questions interesting is that they seem to make a lot of sense, but, usually come from a complete misunderstanding as to the purpose of these groups.

    In my opinion, these groups exist to benefit the gay community, not as statements to the outside world. I don't have to tell you how diverse the gay community is, and it seems like the only thing we all have in common is that we feel sexual attraction for people of our same sex. It's difficult to find people with similar interests, so I think part of the reason for these groups is to facilitate bringing similar people together.

    I also think the pride parade is meant more for gay people than straight people. I don't think the initial purpose of the parade was to say "look at us gays" as much as it was an encouragement for gays not to be ashamed. Hence the pride vs. ashamedness. It's not about saying we're better, but about saying we're not inferior.

    I've seen many people confuse the two (even gay people). That's why I find the topic interesting. I just wanted to get other people's views on it.