Getting a date, what am I doing wrong?

  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Nov 23, 2012 5:41 PM GMT
    I have been stood up 4 times by 3 different guys. We typically have great chemistry and no warning signs until the day of the meet. Ive never officially had a date and these are my first attempts. Im 0 for 4 so far. Any thoughts? Please be serious as this is starting to make me think im not worth dating.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 23, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    A lot of people like playing games, don't ask me why. Or they simply just wanted to fuck and lost interest when you wanted to date instead. Or they already have a bf and wanted to flirt to blow off steam. There are a lot of possibilities that I can think of, but can't originate from you as you said it had chemistry
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 23, 2012 9:57 PM GMT
    Chris: are these guys you're chatting with online? If so, it unfortunately is all too common.

    If you have the opportunity, try meeting guys through friends or social groups.

    Hang in there no matter what the deal. This comes with the dating territory unfortunately - better to find out they're flakes early rather than later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 23, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    Hi,

    No one is to ever dictate your worth ! you are the captain of your own ship and your own actions/aura send out signals to people whether you are worthy of respect or not.

    As for dating, people can flake for a lot of reasons :

    * your intentions aren't the same his
    * he's scared of being hurt/rejected
    * he likes to play/toy people
    * he's gone back to his ex
    * he decided he wants to stay single
    * he lost interest in you

    Whatever the case may be, you should assume that dating is something that requires a lot of self-assurence, confidence, patience, and optimism.

    You'll most likely go through a series ok dates (ok ones, nice ones, chemistry induced and disastrous ones :shockicon_smile.gif , but the main point is that if you are looking to fin that one special person who will give all kinds of good, unconditional, sweet lovin; then why not go through all that ? After all, wouldn't that make you appreciate him more once you meet him ?

    Think of it this way, life is giving you an opportunity and is testing you/preparing for something to change in your life. Going and being rejected by these guys is just a step in the process of finding something better and much more fulfilling - the man you can honestly love !

    Hope this helps and don't worry, I"m going through the same thing right now and I'm not gonna let any of these flakes get the best of me. Enjoy yourself and all the best to you Chris ;)

    -Alex
  • Kagse

    Posts: 261

    Nov 23, 2012 10:09 PM GMT
    Tenebrism saidChris: are these guys you're chatting with online? If so, it unfortunately is all too common.

    If you have the opportunity, try meeting guys through friends or social groups.

    Hang in there no matter what the deal. This comes with the dating territory unfortunately - better to find out they're flakes early rather than later.


    .....Ditto

    Guys can be super flaky, i've been there myself, so don't let it get to you. It sucks because you start to doubt your worth, but honestly its a good thing because they were not worth your time to begin with.
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Nov 23, 2012 10:10 PM GMT
    220px-He%27s_Just_Not_That_Into_You_Soun
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Nov 23, 2012 10:14 PM GMT
    A lot of online gays guys are super flaky. Why don't you try meeting people in real life social settings.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Nov 23, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    This is common in gay world. I wouldnt worry about it. Guy just want to have sex, nothing more . Most of the time , we have sex first and then go on date. (if there a chemistry)
  • ChrisBGood

    Posts: 103

    Nov 23, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    The first guy was online. We talked on the phone for a little more than two weeks before we decided to meet. He disappeared the night before our date. I came on here and asked about and was ripped a new one for not meeting guys face to face. After that I got up the courage to visit some bars and clubs. Thats where I came across the other guys. So I did already meet him but we were to have lunch on Wednesday (my birthday) but he said he couldnt leave work. We rescheduled for today but he said he has a family issue.

    Thanks guys for the advice, I didnt realize that this would be a process. Since Ive never been on a date, I didnt know what was involved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    wait till you actually start going on a few dates and then all of sudden they lose interest. then you'll really start questioning what you're doing wrong icon_wink.gif (haha where i'm at now).

    it's a long process. enjoy the ride. learn from it along the way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    ChrisBGood saidThe first guy was online. We talked on the phone for a little more than two weeks before we decided to meet. He disappeared the night before our date. I came on here and asked about and was ripped a new one for not meeting guys face to face. After that I got up the courage to visit some bars and clubs. Thats where I came across the other guys. So I did already meet him but we were to have lunch on Wednesday (my birthday) but he said he couldnt leave work. We rescheduled for today but he said he has a family issue.

    Thanks guys for the advice, I didnt realize that this would be a process. Since Ive never been on a date, I didnt know what was involved.
    Hang in there buddy and keep pushing ahead.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Nov 24, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    ChrisBGood saidI have been stood up 4 times by 3 different guys. We typically have great chemistry and no warning signs until the day of the meet. Ive never officially had a date and these are my first attempts. Im 0 for 4 so far. Any thoughts? Please be serious as this is starting to make me think im not worth dating.
    I think you need to look at the key word"Chemistry"...this may be the source of the answers you seek....How do you define define Chemistry between him and you? Is this chemistry tied to physical attraction? Personality? other attributes? Second...Are these guys asking you for said dates or do you ask them? Maybe your being too forward and that's coming off as desperate....Just something to think about....BUD
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Nov 25, 2012 8:40 AM GMT
    Jockular saidwait till you actually start going on a few dates and then all of sudden they lose interest. then you'll really start questioning what you're doing wrong icon_wink.gif (haha where i'm at now).

    it's a long process. enjoy the ride. learn from it along the way.


    This was where I was as well. He told me we're just friends after our 4th date. And i thought everything was going great.... so yeah it's better in your case cuz at least you didn't get chance to be invested in them >.<.