guys im goin crazy...help me out......


  • Sep 09, 2008 6:47 AM GMT
    Ok guys help me out with this one....plsssssssssssss....so heres the dilemma....there is this guy who is smoking HOT...just lookin at him could suck the life outta you....His eyes are sooooo sizzling that you feel like spreading strawberry ice cream on his chest and lickin it offff..PLUS, he has this really sweet friendly and crazy personality which makes him matter to me even more...

    We both studied(now graduated) in the same class in high school..We dont talk that much on a regular basis durin da high school days, though we use to greet each other the heys and hiii's....Even though we dint talk much, he knew me well due to my popularity...Im closeted(and still am), so I always use to discreetly look at him in class...BUTTTT HES STRAIGHT..NOW heres the thing:

    1)He doesnt have a girlfriend yet, which is shocking considering his desirable personality.......

    2)He loves playing basket ball and is a big WWE fan..A total jock but really isnt the aggressive type...He hates gettin into fights....

    3)I once heard him muttering to himself "stupid girls", when his friends asked him to join them for a movie with a bunch of chicks....

    4)Oh he has an awesome fashion sense...the clothes he wears are damn good....very trendy....

    5)Hes not the type of hetero guy who says "Oh whose that sexy chick there??...she looks hot.." if you knw what I mean...

    6)My friends and I were discussing about movies one day in class and this guy was also with us....When we came to the topic of "Christian Bale's acting", I could feel the enthusiasm in his face...The Machinist and American Psycho was all over the place....According to a closeted guy like me, it was as if he had a crush on Christian Bale o somethin...However, my friends cudnt sense this since all of them are straight...

    Now all you wonderful guys out there......heres the question...DO YOU THINK HES GAY??OR BI WHATEVER??....theres something going on...ok if his hetero status was confirmed, I would just leave him alone....but the fact that he might be interested in guys TORTURES me and make me want him more......

    We both r 19 now, graduated from highschool....he lives far away from me but I know that hes on a social networkin site......so what dyou think my next move should be??........

    A confused chrisicon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2008 6:53 AM GMT
    Jeez. You sound like me in jr high. Really mister, you never know. Just ask him and get it over with. Either that or just get over it. Its no use torturing yourself. icon_smile.gif

  • Sep 09, 2008 8:02 AM GMT
    lol....but wat dyou think??...is he gay??..........I dont want my condition to be like what happened in this video I saw few minutes back.....haha...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfG6Btb4zf4
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    Sep 09, 2008 11:22 AM GMT
    I'v seen this clip before ! nice icon_smile.gif

    But I don't think it will happen to you ... Imagine yourself in the rainbow land , where everyone is gay or bi .. just tell him what you feel (be proud of it ) you don't have anything to loose .. you're not in high school and you're a big boy now ..

    there is a big chance that he might be Bi .. or just gay .. don't let us kill ourselves trying to guess it.. just do it ..!


    good luck icon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 09, 2008 12:32 PM GMT
    I agree partially and disagree....

    I was a "confused Chris" to some extent when I was 19. I had girlfriends.
    He may be confused sexually... meaning he hasn't accepted who he really is, or still trying to figure it all out.

    I'd encourage you to build a friendship with him. You know him, you know some of the things he likes and your not a stranger by any means.....
    Start talking to him more and bring up some gay related things and get his input. Spend time as a friend and let things grow.

    I don't think you should just ask him out. He may not be there yet and he may just reject the whole thing. Start with a friendship and build from there.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 09, 2008 12:40 PM GMT
    First I think you need to come out of the closet and be true to yourself and others, all this guessing and thinking who is and who isn't can be very energy sapping and basically leads to no where.

    Second, I would tell him your gay, not hitting on him, and see where it goes from there.
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    Sep 09, 2008 1:02 PM GMT
    I'd have to agree w/Hndsm. Be a friend first. Then if something happens you will be there when your needed...
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    Sep 09, 2008 1:14 PM GMT
    So what are you waiting for?

    Well then again I do not think putting the porn out and getting him drunk is the right way to go about it.

    You are both 19. So it is not like if you do not do anything that the chances will be lost. I think you should just give it more time.

    Maybe he likes you and you do not even know it and he is comfortable with the relationship you have and does not want to rush it or screw it up.
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    Sep 09, 2008 1:29 PM GMT
    Personally, it sounds like your grasping at straws. You're trying to read 'gay' into everything he says or does and it sounds pretty selective.

    I think you ought to leave him alone until you deal with your own issues of being closeted. Until you out yourself, you're not in a good, stable position to talk to him about it. I'm not saying that he's straight although I think that may be likely, but I do think that you're blinded by your crush on him.

  • Sep 09, 2008 5:10 PM GMT
    Hey Guysss thanks a lotttt....yup steltom, I tooo angree with HndsmKansan...

    HndsmKansan, mannnnn I love you...I guess I'll talk to him more and know him better..but as Lost_Lover suggested, its not like my chances will be lost if I dont do anythin...so b4 I go forward to talk and know him better, I'll give the whole thing a bit more time....

    and guys, I would like to come out one day...but Im not ready yet...I dont feel that the time is right...

    bgcat57, I dont think Im graspin at straws dude....there were tons of hot guys in highschool but when this guy walks by, its like my gaydar goes "beep beep beep beep"...lol...

    once again guysss....thanksssss a million...*hugs* to all of ya....
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    Sep 09, 2008 5:24 PM GMT
    LOL. Your gaydar goes "beep beep beep" huh?

    I think you are misinterpting your gaydar for lust. You seem to be quite infatuated with this fellow of yours and you yourself aren't even open to yourself.

    That's a bad combo in any universe. You can't expect him to be into you when you aren't even "into" yourself hence being closeted. Also those little "noticeable traits" you mentioned don't really mean a thing. The guy sounds like a perfectly normal straight guy and just because he doesn't talk much about girls and has a good fashion sense (according to you) doesn't mean he's gay. Lots of straight guys are like that nowadays because it attracts women. Women love a man who can dress and has a sense of decentcey. It's attractive.

    Sorry but I think bgcat nailed it. You are looking for a reason for him to be gay so you can be with him or least have a reason so you can hook up with him. You're basically wanting what you can't have. Try being afriend first and then letting things develop.

    Don't put the cart before the horse.
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    Sep 09, 2008 7:52 PM GMT
    I think we've all been there. Can't tell you how many times I would LOOK for the things I wanted to see. And ignore the rest.

    And even if he is gay...you both are closeted. Think of all the hurdles.

    Believe me, been there done that. I was sooo sure my best friend was gay, that I came out to him...and nope, not gay. He dates a fat chick now. lol.

    You will learn to put straights as off limits, unless you like emotional torment. There are enough hot openly gay guys, look at this site...
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    Sep 09, 2008 8:22 PM GMT
    chocolatechris said
    and guys, I would like to come out one day...but Im not ready yet...I dont feel that the time is right...
    .


    I understand you. I haven't come out to my parents, it's hard to actually say it. I've tried but I always chicken out.
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    Sep 10, 2008 3:55 AM GMT
    Don't listen to those knuckleheads. You don't have to come out to the whole world in order to make a friend or get a date.

    I think you're right - Kansan had very good advice. Contact the guy. See if he wants to hang out a bit, and maybe you can become friends. If he's gay or bi you'll probably get a better feel for it once you get to know him, and then you can worry about the rest of it.

    But, one more thing - if he says something a little homophobic before you come out to him, that doesn't necessarily mean he's straight. He could just be in the closet and insecure. Ignore it (unless it's really offensive) and concentrate on whether he's the kind of person you really want to become friends with.
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    Sep 10, 2008 4:17 AM GMT
    chocolatechris said Even though we dint talk much, he knew me well due to my popularity...



    hahahahahahaha icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 11, 2008 4:14 AM GMT
    You say you remain closeted. Telling him you're gay runs the risk that he'll out you, especially if he's straight (or wants to think his is) and your interest offends him.

    How far away is "far"? If he's a great distance, then was this gonna work well anyway, even if he was gay and out? Perhaps for practical purposes this is already a moot point.
  • Mars

    Posts: 158

    Sep 11, 2008 4:55 AM GMT
    BearCub17 said
    chocolatechris said Even though we dint talk much, he knew me well due to my popularity...



    hahahahahahaha icon_lol.gif



    I am glad someone else picked up on that icon_lol.gif