Does your employment or lack of make you insecure?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2012 5:25 AM GMT
    I will say that it does for me. I never have a stellar job when I have one and it makes me feel like a burden more than an asset. Combine in the fact I'm a college student living at home sometimes I feel like I'm Typhoid Mary. It sometimes makes me hesitant to even attempt to be with a man because I feel like he'd see me as a leech and not a lover.

    Does anyone else feel like me or has been in this situation?
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Nov 25, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    As long as you end up with a job or are bringing in your own source of income I don't see why your man would consider you to be a leech. Just make sure you pay for your own things and set aside some money for things that you do together.
    It sounds like you are trying to improve your current situation which is good, we all have to start somewhere.
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    Nov 25, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    Yes icon_sad.gif It will change though icon_smile.gif
  • reptile18

    Posts: 199

    Nov 26, 2012 12:18 AM GMT
    bri_66 saidYes icon_sad.gif It will change though icon_smile.gif


    UnderpantsGnomesPlan.jpg
  • newyorkcanon

    Posts: 37

    Nov 26, 2012 12:30 AM GMT
    Yes, because all the guys I happen to date seem to be on the right track, they are successful working professionals while I'm busy trying to get another job, or an internship possibly... icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 26, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    newyorkcanon saidYes, because all the guys I happen to date seem to be on the right track, they are successful working professionals while I'm busy trying to get another job, or an internship possibly... icon_sad.gif


    I know how you feel cause even if they don't have an issue with it I do and I feel like they secretly do and it drives me crazy. So I'm trying to find men on my level or men who don't mine that's I don't have it together right now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2012 5:28 PM GMT
    If you're under 30 I don't think anyone expects you to have your perfect career job so there's no reason to be insecure about it.

    For those of us who are a little older and established in a good career, it can be frustrating trying to reassure someone that money and status aren't that important (when they really, truly are not that important).

    If I really clicked with someone it wouldn't matter if they were stocking shelves at a grocery store. Life is too short and good connections are too rare to dismiss it over something so trivial.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    I'm a secure working professional, and I see no problem at all with dating guys that are either still trying to figure out what they're going to do, or between jobs. But I find usually those kind of guys are so insecure about the whole imbalance that they end up attacking me for having or wanting nice things. As long as you and your partner can respect each other and support each other's successes vs. letting the insecurity take over, it shouldn't be an issue.
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    Dec 30, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
    I don't know but I think it will be hard to work out a relationship with someone struggling to hold a job. I wouldn't feel okay living on my partner/bf money. On the other hand I can help for sometime but then I am not rich either and finally I will find it hard to manage mine and his expenses both.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2012 5:49 PM GMT
    Story of my life.
    I am confident in almost all the aspects of my life. Except for work. I have never really worked and it scares me like hell. Sometimes it even prevents me to sleep. Soon I will begin my first job, which is a translation work that I will do at home. But even this scares me a lot.
  • FitGwynedd

    Posts: 1468

    Dec 30, 2012 5:51 PM GMT
    I've felt a lot more secure since I gave up on working a full time or even a regular job.
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    Dec 30, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    Yep. Especially now that I may not even have that job I'm so ashamed for taking since the season is just about over. icon_sad.gif

    All the guys I've dated (or almost all) have had these great careers. Last guy I dated was a manager of a law firm, the guy before him worked in a hospital. First guy I dated was this great graphic designer. And I'm still working retail.

    I'm such a failure at life. icon_lol.gif
  • FitGwynedd

    Posts: 1468

    Dec 30, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    IceBuckets saidYep. Especially now that I may not even have that job I'm so ashamed for taking since the season is just about over. icon_sad.gif

    All the guys I've dated (or almost all) have had these great careers. Last guy I dated was a manager of a law firm, the guy before him worked in a hospital. First guy I dated was this great graphic designer. And I'm still working retail.

    I'm such a failure at life. icon_lol.gif


    You can't be that big a failure if you are attracting very successful men
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2012 5:55 PM GMT
    IceBuckets saidYep. Especially now that I may not even have that job I'm so ashamed for taking since the season is just about over. icon_sad.gif

    All the guys I've dated (or almost all) have had these great careers. Last guy I dated was a manager of a law firm, the guy before him worked in a hospital. First guy I dated was this great graphic designer. And I'm still working retail.

    I'm such a failure at life. icon_lol.gif

    You need to stop the defeatist thinking. The man who loves you will not care whether you work retail or at some fancy law firm. Just be positive, and your attitude will attract the right kind of people into your life.
  • jock5827

    Posts: 52

    Dec 30, 2012 6:07 PM GMT
    huhwhat said

    You need to stop the defeatist thinking. The man who loves you will not care whether you work retail or at some fancy law firm. Just be positive, and your attitude will attract the right kind of people into your life.


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 30, 2012 6:16 PM GMT
    Guys, I'm being facetious. icon_cool.gif