Rough day

  • Coug24_wyo

    Posts: 147

    Sep 09, 2008 6:00 PM GMT
    Just wanted to post and get some of my frustration out through venting. If you look in my profile you can see I used to be much much heavier and Have since lost 142 pounds, 18 pant sizes, etc etc blah blah. It is all great and don't get me wrong I've worked really hard to get where I am and I am proud of myself, but not every day is as easy to see this when I look in the mirror.

    I feel like my personality and my interests keep me looking for the types of guys who are scared away after they see my excess skin or even just hear I used to be overweight. I've been told all my life I'd eventually find someone who would love me for me as the great person I am, but after having put so much effort in and seen so many results it's tough for me to still see nothing but rejection when I approach guys. Anyways, I understand rejection is a part of life and I'm all for working on myself and not looking for a guy to fill my void by any means, but like I said before today has just been tougher then other days and the mirror just isn't my friend. Thanks for letting me vent guys.
  • DanBasil

    Posts: 173

    Sep 09, 2008 11:03 PM GMT
    No problem, but just as advice, dumping your emotional weight only relieves these things temporarily. It is important to mind the mental side of one's health (or you could call it spiritual/emotional- whatever is more comfortable).

    Practicing meditation, or some form of self-care in addition to the physical exercises is essential to a healthy lifestyle. Confronting these feelings and working through them is difficult, but can be rewarding when the burdens are released.
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    Sep 09, 2008 11:11 PM GMT
    Coug24_wyo saidJust wanted to post and get some of my frustration out through venting. If you look in my profile you can see I used to be much much heavier and Have since lost 142 pounds, 18 pant sizes, etc etc blah blah. It is all great and don't get me wrong I've worked really hard to get where I am and I am proud of myself, but not every day is as easy to see this when I look in the mirror.

    I feel like my personality and my interests keep me looking for the types of guys who are scared away after they see my excess skin or even just hear I used to be overweight. I've been told all my life I'd eventually find someone who would love me for me as the great person I am, but after having put so much effort in and seen so many results it's tough for me to still see nothing but rejection when I approach guys. Anyways, I understand rejection is a part of life and I'm all for working on myself and not looking for a guy to fill my void by any means, but like I said before today has just been tougher then other days and the mirror just isn't my friend. Thanks for letting me vent guys.


    Someone will look past a few folds of skin and see your unique and amazing strength as something to grow old with. Talk about sustainability. There are millions of guys with cookie-cutter bodies who may look strong, but are real pussies compared to you.

    As for the physical issue, doesn't the skin kind of snap back eventually? And it sounds like you need to exude some more confidence, which has the amazing ability to mask physical "flaws".
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    Sep 11, 2008 10:01 AM GMT
    Coug24_wyo saidJust wanted to post and get some of my frustration out through venting. If you look in my profile you can see I used to be much much heavier and Have since lost 142 pounds, 18 pant sizes, etc etc blah blah. It is all great and don't get me wrong I've worked really hard to get where I am and I am proud of myself, but not every day is as easy to see this when I look in the mirror.

    I feel like my personality and my interests keep me looking for the types of guys who are scared away after they see my excess skin or even just hear I used to be overweight. I've been told all my life I'd eventually find someone who would love me for me as the great person I am, but after having put so much effort in and seen so many results it's tough for me to still see nothing but rejection when I approach guys. Anyways, I understand rejection is a part of life and I'm all for working on myself and not looking for a guy to fill my void by any means, but like I said before today has just been tougher then other days and the mirror just isn't my friend. Thanks for letting me vent guys.


    Well first of all congrats on losing so much weight. I can't even imagine dropping that much. At 175 and 6 feet tall you are pretty what I would consider ideal. You have a nice looking and friendly face so don't let the bad days get you down. BTW if you have grown up not thinking yourself attractive that will continue to be a part of your psyche to a greater or lesser extent for many years to come. Other guys might find you attractive but maybe to shy or reserved to initiate and you may be hesitant as well because of your past.

    I would recommend trying to focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle and keeping the weight off. It will benefit your health in the long-term. You may not get positive feedback from every guy you find attractive (virtually nobody gets that) but you will be getting your fair share.
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    Sep 11, 2008 10:16 AM GMT
    Coug24_wyo said and the mirror just isn't my friend. Thanks for letting me vent guys.


    Screw the mirror, remember how much better you feel now compared to before icon_smile.gif I did the same thing as you, you always intermediate how you view yourself to your environment and get those reactions in return. Be proud, try to be happy the rest will follow by itself.
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    Sep 11, 2008 11:54 AM GMT
    Hey dude, losing that much weight is a milestone! It doesnt come from wishing, its born from hard work and a slight ounce of pure WILL.

    Not everyone is born with the most amazing set of genetics, and not everyone is going to understand what it takes to lose that weight. The mirror is against us all somedays, whether its excess skin, body fat, or even a new wrinkle that wasn't there yesterday.

    The body doesn't change day to day, it changes over the course of the year. Here are a few tips that helped some of my clients in the past. Weight training should be a major focus, the extra muscle will help fill you out better and increase your resting metablolism. Vitamin E and CoEnzyme Q10 will help with tightening up that skin some--its not a miracle worker, but it does work to an extent--

    Keep setting new goals for yourself, and accomplish them! Never lose sight of what it is that motivates you...never. In 5 yrs time you will have a confidence in you that is heads and shoulders above those superficial guys. You will take ownership of what you work for in this life. Next time you look in the mirror...see it for all the hard work you have put into it.

    By the way....14 yrs ago I decided to stop being the fat kid in class, haven't looked back, and oh yeah, somedays the mirror hates me too, except now its all these damn scars that I never took care of.

    Good luck to you bud.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 14, 2008 12:21 AM GMT
    Congratulations on your weight loss and all the hard work. You are young enough, that with time, I think you would lose most of that excess skin, if you keep working out and stay on a healthy well balanced diet.

    Suggest you let up on trying to find the person you fantasize and dream about for a bit. Losing all that weight will require you to work on some psychological issues to prevent you from gaining it back. It is kind of like an addict getting sober and starting a new life. It takes a while to get on track, and having a relationship can cause a lot of inner turmoil that causes people to relapse.
  • SkyMiles

    Posts: 963

    Sep 14, 2008 12:36 AM GMT
    Hi, Coug:

    142 pounds in 9 months! That's truly amazing! That said, the weight loss is only a step on the right path and won't cure everything. Both American and gay cultures are very appearance obsessed, so you're going to have to find a guy who's a bit more evolved ;). That'll be healthier for you too in the long run!

    Take care icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 26, 2012 1:08 AM GMT
    thread_necromancer.png

    BOOM what revived!

    I have had a hell of a past couple of weeks. Have been working my ass off everyday for the past 14 days and still have at least 6 more days to go. icon_evil.gif
    Then on top of that, my phone got all kinds of fucked up when it fell out of my pocket and onto the ground. icon_evil.gif Then my buddy got back on his feet and has moved out so I no get anymore of his amazing cooking icon_evil.gif Some of my friends are going out and having a good time and I cant go icon_evil.gif I come on here to read some shite and interact only to get the third degree, again icon_rolleyes.gif My iTunes decided to erase all my music off of it so now I have to go in and see what the fuck happened as well as redownload iTunes and put ALL my music back into it icon_evil.gif AND I'm hungry as a mother fucker and have no dinner made icon_evil.gif
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    Feb 26, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    Claystation saidthread_necromancer.png

    BOOM what revived!

    I have had a hell of a past couple of weeks. Have been working my ass off everyday for the past 14 days and still have at least 6 more days to go. icon_evil.gif
    Then on top of that, my phone got all kinds of fucked up when it fell out of my pocket and onto the ground. icon_evil.gif Then my buddy got back on his feet and has moved out so I no get anymore of his amazing cooking icon_evil.gif Some of my friends are going out and having a good time and I cant go icon_evil.gif I come on here to read some shite and interact only to get the third degree, again icon_rolleyes.gif My iTunes decided to erase all my music off of it so now I have to go in and see what the fuck happened as well as redownload iTunes and put ALL my music back into it icon_evil.gif AND I'm hungry as a mother fucker and have no dinner made icon_evil.gif



    lmfaoooooooooooo HAHAHAHAHAHA and i hope i made it a little worsticon_twisted.gif idk what you wrote but it must be funnyicon_lol.gif your deff a tread necromancericon_lol.gif
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    Feb 26, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    Dude, you're beautiful. Don't correlate rejection to your insecurities. They're Totally unrelated! I get rejected ALL the time. Whether the other guys admit it or not, everyone gets rejected. Finding love in this world takes alot of courage and patience - it's a slow, deliberate process, just like weight loss.
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    Feb 26, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    Coug24_wyo saidJust wanted to post and get some of my frustration out through venting. If you look in my profile you can see I used to be much much heavier and Have since lost 142 pounds, 18 pant sizes, etc etc blah blah. It is all great and don't get me wrong I've worked really hard to get where I am and I am proud of myself, but not every day is as easy to see this when I look in the mirror.

    I feel like my personality and my interests keep me looking for the types of guys who are scared away after they see my excess skin or even just hear I used to be overweight. I've been told all my life I'd eventually find someone who would love me for me as the great person I am, but after having put so much effort in and seen so many results it's tough for me to still see nothing but rejection when I approach guys. Anyways, I understand rejection is a part of life and I'm all for working on myself and not looking for a guy to fill my void by any means, but like I said before today has just been tougher then other days and the mirror just isn't my friend. Thanks for letting me vent guys.


    I can totally relate.

    Congrats to you. - I don't have a great answer for you because I'm in the same boat. I guess we're just going to have to give it time. Maybe it will help to realize that you aren't alone in this.

    Hugz...

    The biggest battle isn't the weight loss. It's the mental image. It's so hard to see anything but rejection if you're used to it. You and I both are going to have to start loving what we see in the mirror and use that to build confidence. Confidence is what attracts people. Insecurity is what repels them. Try working on your confidence. You look great!!!
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    Feb 26, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    Congrats on the weight loss. I totally understand your frustration. The good news is that you are still very young; your excess skin will decrease. You'll find someone wonderful. Just don't give up.