I find I learn what kind of men I like by being around my straight male friends

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    Nov 25, 2012 10:42 PM GMT
    Recently (as in a few months ago) I got out of a ugly romantic situation and that led me to reexamine the kind of men I find myself attracted to. For one I need to stop allowing to become attracted to straight men and then following after them. Second I realized the gay men I did find myself attracted I needed to change the type of men I pursued. I always went after pretty boy types who I knew where like the frat guy type with no intention for a serious relationship. Or the gym bunny whose mirror was his lover.

    For the first time though I really paid attention to what kind of men my straight male friends. Of course most of them I became friends with because I was trying to get with them in the first place but that's another story. I realized that I had a better time being around men when I wasn't constantly trying to make me attracted to me or want to go to bed with me. I realized that when I was around men who didn't give me 'the face' when I ate high carb high calorie food made me feel less tense. I usually always feel extremely tense and high pressure when I'm around men be they straight or gay because I'm always on the prowl , even if they are gay.

    But I said all that to ask this: do you find sometimes the people who you aren't attracted to are the ones who teach you the most about yourself?
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    Nov 26, 2012 3:52 AM GMT
    I think i understand what you're getting at, but i'm a bit confused... icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 26, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said I think i understand what you're getting at, but i'm a bit confused... icon_confused.gif


    In what way?
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    Nov 27, 2012 6:35 AM GMT
    Okay sorry, i got it, i had to reread it again, lol!

    Many of my straight guy friends started out as crushes, but once i got to know them, i see them more as actual friends/buddies than potential bedmates.
    What did teach me about this is that, the kind of man i would like to have as a partner is somebody who i see as an Equal, not a dumb fuck below me or a pompous ass trying to be above me.
    A man who shares my interests in Art, fitness and literature, and yet can be spontaneous and very relaxed about himself, and not uptight and judgemental.

    But then, we can't really choose who we fall in Love, can we?
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    Nov 27, 2012 6:40 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said Okay sorry, i got it, i had to reread it again, lol!

    Many of my straight guy friends started out as crushes, but once i got to know them, i see them more as actual friends/buddies than potential bedmates.
    What did teach me about this is that, the kind of man i would like to have as a partner is somebody who i see as an Equal, not a dumb fuck below me or a pompous ass trying to be above me.
    A man who shares my interests in Art, fitness and literature, and yet can be spontaneous and very relaxed about himself, and not uptight and judgemental.

    But then, we can't really choose who we fall in Love, can we?


    Yeah that's basically what in talking about. They help me see things throughout less sexual eyes. And I can see them for the men thy are and then judge whether or not I'd like that kind of man romantically.
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    Nov 27, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    For some reason, my straight friends end up being the type of guys I want to settle down with. Obviously the straight part being the only issue. Personality/Looks wise though, they are exactly what I want.
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    Nov 27, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    Fiyero27 saidFor some reason, my straight friends end up being the type of guys I want to settle down with. Obviously the straight part being the only issue. Personality/Looks wise though, they are exactly what I want.


    Don't you just hate that?! Happens to me too!
    They're perfect except for the hetero thing, lol!

    But it's even more frustrating if the guy you like IS Gay, and still....

    But, that's another thread...
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    Nov 27, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    Fiyero27 saidFor some reason, my straight friends end up being the type of guys I want to settle down with. Obviously the straight part being the only issue. Personality/Looks wise though, they are exactly what I want.


    YES! That is exactly what happens to me. I have several straight male friends who if they were gay I would probably try to be with. Although for gays they would not be considered traditonally attractive. But they are very handsome men.