Subtle hints

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    Nov 26, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    So I met this guy. It's only been three weeks or so. But I kinda like him. But I can't seem to get a good read from him. We met at the park and exchanged numbers and had dinner later in the week. We're complete opposites but that's what I find so fascinating about him. I drive him to the train station afterwards and he stays in my car and we chat waiting for the train to come. When it arrives, he rubs my leg/thigh as he jumps out of the car to say his goodbye. Not sure if that means anything...probably nothing.

    The following weekend I tell him I want to meet up again and we do...but he invites his friend (who is in a monogamous relationship - whew!). The three of hang out that afternoon and evening, but then his friend has to run off and meet his boyfriend for a movie. We walk to my car and just talk some more and go back and forth: "What do you wanna do?" "I don't know...what do you want to do?" "I don't know"....so we decide to just go to another park to get a nighttime view of the city. It's cold up there and we're the only ones. We get a beautiful view of the city and the stars. I get closer to him until I'm right there against his back...and he turns around and we make out for a bit underneath the stars and lights of the city.

    We then grab a quick bite to eat before I head home. He hugs me to say goodbye.

    Despite all this, though, I find that I'm the one who always initiates the texts to meet up. And when I thank him for hanging out with me...it's always just a simple, "You're welcome". Or "my pleasure". Maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I'm thinking maybe I'm in the friend zone. Which I'm fine with...a bummer...but I'm fine with that. I'm just torn between pursuing something more...or should I just leave it at that? I could just flat out ask...but we haven't know each other for that long to have a serious talk...so I just have these subtle hints to read over. I want to meet up with him again next weekend...but I don't want to get too annoying with my texts and may just "skip" this weekend.

    (Btw, karma's a bitch...now I know how this other guy I met must have felt with me. I acted pretty much the same way this guy does----which is why I think I'm in the friend zone icon_sad.gif .)
  • newyorkcanon

    Posts: 37

    Nov 26, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    Outside of meeting up, does this person ever go out of their way to check up on you? As in, hit you up to say "hi, how's your day comin' along?" I notice that when guys are into me they are incessant with their text messages and say "good morning" every day. I however, say it every passing day because like you, I don't want to be annoying! icon_lol.gif

    I've been on both ends of the same situation. And I hate to be on the receiving end, which is why I stopped talking to that person. On the other hand, there was this guy who took me out on a date to the movies and dinner afterwards. And when we parted our ways that night, we tap kissed. I got home later, did some careful thinking and realized that I wasn't feeling a connection. Hated to lead him on like that, but I had told him previously that I wasn't sure of how I felt towards him.

    Back to your situation, I feel that you're doing your best from your end. It's time for this person to reciprocate. Sounds like you probably were friend-zoned, after all. Sorry if that turns out to be true. icon_neutral.gif
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Nov 26, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    For one I don't think you can say you are in the friend-zone just yet.. Friends don't make out with each other, at least not in my circle. So he is obviously interested in you as well, but to what degree? You won't know until you have a serious talk. I don't know why you are hesitant over having a serious talk with him, that is how you get to better understand a person and where their head is at. I could be wrong but it seems you really don't know much about him, there does not seem to be any strong communication going on here and that is why you can't read him, you two don't conversate enough.

    Now, if you are in the friend-zone, I think this is something he needs to tell you. After all, you are just as involved in this and you do have the right to know where exactly this is heading, if it is heading anywhere at all. So my advice is to just communicate with him more, if you guys mostly text, why not just start calling? Some guys can be turned off if a person only texts and doesn't call. And just be honest about how you feel about the entire situation. I'm sure that when you are honest about everything, he will be as well which will allow things to be much clearer between you two. Good luck.