Do you ever feel like you'll never get over your first love?

  • account_92

    Posts: 15

    Nov 26, 2012 6:06 AM GMT
    I feel that way far too often icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 26, 2012 6:16 AM GMT
    Yessssss!!

    I'm right there with you. The feelings are too strong to just "get over".
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    Nov 26, 2012 10:01 AM GMT
    I'm not yet over :/
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    Nov 26, 2012 1:32 PM GMT
    I feel the same way. I get all kinds of crazy sometimes with guys.

    You know, I usually think of it this way : " if he isn't interested then it wasn't meant to be. I can settle for looks, but not for genuine love"

    You just need to find the guys that will have that chemistry with you. It's not easy, but it is worth the struggle at the end. Keep ur chin up and have fun icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 26, 2012 1:43 PM GMT
    For many men, the best way to forget an old love is with a new love.

    Of course you never completely forget, but the memory can dim, its hold on you diminish with time, helped by a new man to take his place. Otherwise many of us would spend our lives in misery, since lost first loves are a fairly common occurrence.
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    Nov 26, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    I'm still hanging on to something for him.

    He was such a funny guy, smart, handsome, athletic (I loved watching him play basketball), loved art, we fit together (he was my big spoon)...he was bi. He liked my build, but he felt more emotionally connected to women.

    I still look back on my time with him as my most in love. Eh. maybe the thrill of the first time. That was almost 20 years ago.
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    Nov 26, 2012 1:54 PM GMT
    ART_DECO saidFor many men, the best way to forget an old love is with a new love.

    Of course you never completely forget, but the memory can dim, its hold on you diminish with time, helped by a new man to take his place. Otherwise many of us would spend our lives in misery, since lost first loves are a fairly common occurrence.



    It does take awhile but until you try a new relationship, all that's left will be the memory of your first! Once you find the next great guy, you'll realize why your first wasn't all that great to begin with!
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    Nov 26, 2012 3:28 PM GMT
    Just_Tom saidI didn't see him for over 30 years. I couldn't even remember what his voice sounded like any more, and I could't imagine what I once saw in him. Although you might not believe it now, that will happen to you too.

    Then I happened to find out he had just committed suicide. I was sad for the beautiful young man he once was and all the unhappiness he must have experienced.


    Sounds quite sad.
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    Nov 26, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    ART_DECO saidFor many men, the best way to forget an old love is with a new love.

    Of course you never completely forget, but the memory can dim, its hold on you diminish with time, helped by a new man to take his place. Otherwise many of us would spend our lives in misery, since lost first loves are a fairly common occurrence.


    Well said!
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    Nov 26, 2012 3:45 PM GMT
    Your first love is always special and seldom totally forgotten. The memories can live on and you eventually will look at it more for the experience than the romance. As you move forward with another or others, you'll always have a special place for that 'first love' but it won't consume you, it will be but just a memory of where it all began.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 26, 2012 6:52 PM GMT
    why don't you make this post when you're 30
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    Nov 26, 2012 6:56 PM GMT
    I'm sorry, what was the question?
    Girlfriend, here is some advice.
    Yeah.
    See how I did that? I completely forgot what my super important advice was.
    It was super important too.
    Learn to forget, otherwise you end up carrying a bag of garbage around with you from all your failures and past relationships and that's never pretty.
    You want to forget about your first whatever? Do what I do.
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    Nov 26, 2012 6:56 PM GMT
    Art_DecoFor many men, the best way to forget an old love is with a new love.


    He is completely right. I never forgot my first love but as the years went by, I thought of her less and less. Then I got a boyfriend and I would think of her only once every blue moon.

    Now that I have grown a bit and my mind matured, I believe that finding someone new can aid in the pain. But stick in their bud, it gets better. Not to mention that you have the rest of your life ahead of you. icon_cool.gif

    Time is the only remedy. Time and love.
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    Nov 26, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    There's no need to forget. If you've loved someone deeply before, you will always have love for him. I had been on and off with my first love for 6 years..there is an implicit understanding now that we will always be in each others lives, though in a different capacity. Its valuable to have in a world that often feels lonely.
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    Nov 26, 2012 9:44 PM GMT
    I had been through a couple of serious relationships before I fell in love with the person I call "the love of my life". He ripped my heart out the first time we met and he has continued to show up every couple of years to emotionally gut me again and again. Just got my heart ripped out again a few hours ago by this mother-fu*ker.

    so to answer the question, I feel like I'll never get over him but I think I've finally realized it's never going to happen.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Nov 26, 2012 9:47 PM GMT
    You will. As cliched as it sounds, time does heal all wounds. You can always look back at that time and grow from it.

    account_92 saidI feel that way far too often icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 26, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    I've been in love many, many times since my first, I fall in love easily.
    My first is a happy, wonderful memory and I'm happy to say we're still in touch.
    But over him I have been for many, many men... I mean years.

    You will be ok, just don't let the fear of being hurt determine if/when you fall in love again. Love like you've never been hurt. The only thing worse than being hurt is not having the courage to allow yourself to love or be loved.

    *hugs for your heart*
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    Nov 26, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    Just_Tom saidI didn't see him for over 30 years. I couldn't even remember what his voice sounded like any more, and I could't imagine what I once saw in him. Although you might not believe it now, that will happen to you too.

    Then I happened to find out he had just committed suicide. I was sad for the beautiful young man he once was and all the unhappiness he must have experienced.


    Wow, this is really sad :S
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Nov 26, 2012 10:11 PM GMT
    Yes, it was not hard for me to move on but he says that he is still in love with me. We are best friends now and thats fine by me. I give him a lot of dating advice, haha!
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Nov 26, 2012 10:15 PM GMT
    I did write this poem for him recently though but I could never see myself ever getting back with him. I am a much different person than I used to be, I could no longer be content with the love that we had. It was great at the time though.

    MEMORIES

    Memories fade,
    Yet, there you remain.
    Forever unchanged,
    we drift through,
    eternal time and space.
    To a familiar place,
    where I was once,
    Content.
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Nov 28, 2012 9:00 AM GMT
    bosphorous saidThere's no need to forget. If you've loved someone deeply before, you will always have love for him. I had been on and off with my first love for 6 years..there is an implicit understanding now that we will always be in each others lives, though in a different capacity. Its valuable to have in a world that often feels lonely.


    Same for me. Mine has been emotionally in and out of my life for 6 years this december. There's always been something deeper than our friendship. Most of our time has been miles away from each other but there is an undeniable chemistry when we're around each other. When one of us isn't single it seems to always put a strain on the friendship we try to hold on to.
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    Nov 28, 2012 9:09 AM GMT
    I guess things always happened for a reason. I truly believe that if things don't work out between you two for any reasons. It's best to move on. It's the experiences from past-relationship that make you grow as a person. I also believe that in a lifetime, you will probably get about two or three chances at true love. So it's best to find someone new to mend a broken heart. icon_smile.gif
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Nov 28, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    I'm still struggling with the break up of my last relationship which lasted 5 years. I wanted to cut out all communications so that I could move on but he didn't want to do that. He thinks/thought that there's no reason why we can't remain friends considering 5 years together. I, on the other hand, think cheating is grounds enough for a total communication ban.

    That said, he still calls me twice a week or sends a SMS about one thing or another. Now, granted we're two continents apart which does make it a bit easier for me. Even with the phone calls and SMS messages I am still on my own. When we initially broke up we'd still see each other every f'n weekend. We went to the same church (it was the only English service in town). He'd ask me to join him for lunch. Sometimes I did. Sometimes I'd have something to do (or make up something).

    I see us as forever joined to some degree but now that we're so many miles apart it is fading. We'll see how it all ends up.
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    Nov 28, 2012 9:41 PM GMT
    Yes.

    Is it normal to feel this way after almost a year....and to have never ever once met the guy?
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    Nov 28, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    WHAT?! Get over ice cream? NEVER!

    Seriously, after my first love would not commit to me (after sneaking around for 8 years) as an openly gay couple, living together, I DROPPED HIM LIKE A HOT POTATO AND NEVER (AND I MEAN NEVER) LOOKED BACK.