Incestuous Friendship Groups

  • tomj89

    Posts: 14

    Nov 26, 2012 11:18 PM GMT
    Okay, I recently discovered that some of my friends who are pretty close to each other had a threesome a few weeks ago. This isn't really shocking news as out of a group of around ten guys there are only two of us (myself included) who have kept our pursuits external, so to speak.

    I mean, it's reached the stage where almost everyone has been with almost everyone multiple times and yet they've seemingly carried on as if nothing has happened. This stretches from things like foursomes to one of them sleeping with his boyfriend's best friend while the boyfriend was in the next room/passed out in the same bed etc. There have been a few times when some of them would go on a night out with the intention of pulling, be unsuccessful and then go back home and all have sex with each other.

    Aside from calling up the only other guy in the group who isn't part of it and laughing about how awful/horrific it is and saying that we can't imagine how they still look at each other in the face, I've become fairly used to stuff like this happening. However, all the drama, secrets and lies often get wayy too much to deal with so I now keep my distance and only really meet up with them all on occasion.

    Call me traditional but I generally like to keep sex and close friendship separate except for perhaps those extremely rare instances when friendship turns into a relationship.

    So anywayyy, life story over, I was just wondering if any of you were in similar groups/have had similar experiences with your friends/knew of any groups this bad. Can any of your friends seriously not keep it in their pants?
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    Nov 26, 2012 11:21 PM GMT
    No most of my friends are female and straight and the most that happens is someone may sleep with someone's boyfriend if that. But said slutty girl is quickly exspelled from the herd.
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    Nov 27, 2012 4:37 AM GMT
    Never encountered a situation like yours but maybe my life just isn't as exciting.

    I don't see anything wrong with what they are doing as long as they can all deal with it like adults and not have huge drama.
  • tomj89

    Posts: 14

    Nov 27, 2012 9:38 AM GMT
    mbio saidI don't see anything wrong with what they are doing as long as they can all deal with it like adults and not have huge drama.


    Drama manifests without anyone really meaning it to. It's kind of impossible for it not to happen with what goes on.
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    Nov 27, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    it's only dramatic if you need it to be

    sex happens. it's not like anyone committed a crime.

    if no one was under contract to anyone else NOT to do what they did and they didn't commit a crime, it's no one's business

    if a friend of mine told me "hey, last weekend, we robbed a bank, and kidnapped a kitten and we haven't fed the kitten".... i'd beat their ass and take the kitten and tell them not to tell me anymore about their ciminal activities


    sex is no big deal, really
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Nov 27, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    If you can't stand the drama, time to look for a new group of friends. Seems a bit strange though that you are letting others consensual behavior affect you so much.If they aren't bothered by it, not sure why you would be. Maybe you have feelings of either being left out, or feelings that you want to participate and can't accept those feelings. Hard to tell. Good luck though.
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    Nov 27, 2012 5:28 PM GMT

    That was happening back in the 70s, Tom. icon_wink.gif
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Nov 27, 2012 8:25 PM GMT
    I used to live in Akron which is a tiny gay scene. Not necessarily a group of friends, but everyone knew each other, and everyone had slept with each other. I hadn't spoken to one guy that hadn't slept with at least 4 people I knew.

    Luckily, I moved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2012 1:25 AM GMT
    I had an ex and a good friend who told me about the time they shagged and "did one" just for me.

    I was honored.
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    Nov 28, 2012 1:50 AM GMT
    can i meet your friends...icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 29, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    This describes my local scene as well . Casual sex abounds. Fun at first but potential for high drama.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Nov 29, 2012 10:58 PM GMT
    You're young. That's what young gays do . It's only sex, and it sounds like the guys like each other. I don't think you'll find large groups of 50 year olds doing the same thing. They have settled down by then . I remember the same sort of thing going on when I was about your age . I'm sure the same sort of group behavior goes on today where I live, I just don't know any 23 year olds.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Nov 29, 2012 11:50 PM GMT
    blueeyesguy24 saidThis describes my local scene as well . Casual sex abounds. Fun at first but potential for high drama.


    This. Also what Suetonius pointed out. I think this is typical behavior amongst young gays in their twenties--very casual sex. I've seen it lead to a lot of drama, though. I'm in my thirties and I like to keep the people that I sleep with fairly outside my friends circle. Once the physical relationship ends, then they can become friends, but there shall no more messing around after that.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Nov 30, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    It's not a thing that's happened in my group of gay friends, but it happened with a group of my straight friends in college. As long as they're being safe and not dragging others into their drama then I don't see the harm in it. But when they start pitting people against one another or refusing to go to certain outings because of who will be there then it's time to find some new friends to hang with.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Nov 30, 2012 5:12 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    That was happening back in the 70s, Tom. icon_wink.gif


    wouldn't you rather have sex with someone who, as a friend would be honest with you? I know I would