NMGUY505 saidI've been dating this guy for a lil over 10 months now. I decided its time to introduce him to my family. We decided in mid December, but I'm really nervous about it. Any words of encouragment or advice we be greatly appreciated.
Though much older than you & your BF, I had to face the same situation 5 years ago. My new partner of just a few months was taking me to a family gathering, at which his older brother, the "pater familias" of this extended but close Italian family, would be visiting from Boston.
I already knew he had a history as a homophobe, and a generally difficult personality. I was told I'd be introduced to him at their sister's home here in Florida, but to expect a chilly reception, and maybe even a hostile rebuff, as happened to my partner's late partner before me.
We entered the sister's home, and I quickly spotted him, obvious to me by his sitting regally aloof and "Godfather" style in a big armchair, other family members fussing & preening over him.
Not waiting for an introduction, I walked right up to him and said: "Hello! You must be John! I'm Bob, Cxxx's partner. I'm happy to finally meet you!" And gave him a handshake that could have cracked a crab.
I had done my homework. I knew what he liked, what his hobbies were. Fortunately I had my own genuine interest and knowledge of most of them, and I was ex-military and law enforcement, like him. I guided the conversation to these areas. We talked pleasantly for nearly an hour.
Today when he phones us he always wants to speak with me. His brother my partner bitches that he talks more with me than with him. When we traveled to Boston we stayed in John's house, sleeping together under his roof, using the car he lent us. We visit him when he's staying at his Florida home, go out to dinner together, even to "gay" places. And my partner is still puzzled about his formerly homophobic brother's transformation.
Lessons for your & your BF, at least what worked for me:
- Don't be intimidated
- Be outgoing, never lose your smile. Seek people out for introductions, don't wait to be taken
- Do your homework, to know the other person(s) beforehand
- Bite your tongue when gay insults, intentional or inadvertent, are spoken
- Keep smiling and be gracious
- Pour on the compliments
- Did I mention keep smiling?