I need advice

  • lmn3000

    Posts: 1

    Nov 28, 2012 1:57 AM GMT
    I need some input about this guy I've been hanging out with for the past few months. We met on Grindr which initially was supposed to be a hook up, turned out to be a really nice date.

    From that point on I would take the train to Brooklyn a few times a week and hang out with him after work over some wine and usually end with sex. In the beginning he kept bringing up the point that he wanted to be friends and our age difference bothered him (I'm 25 and he's 34). I brushed it off because at that point I enjoyed his company but didn't care if he didn't see me as bf material.

    Later on as we started hanging out more and more, he mentioned that he was over my age because I'm well established but he still would avoid the question on where our relationship is heading. Being puzzled by this I still was seeing other guys, going on dates, but nothing happened with the other guys because I felt myself becoming attached to that one guy. I found myself always thinking about him and wanting to be around him all the time. I concluded that I had feelings for him and l would just hang out with him and see where it would go.

    Things continued as usual with us hanging out at my place or his place and we would have dinner, drink wine, and sleep together and this is going on for weeks. Then all of a sudden during the last past few weeks I noticed he stopped texting me and started mentioning that we never do anything romantic. He brought up another guy he's been hanging out and he said that this guy is very romantic and sweeps him off his feet but its too much sometimes.

    I felt a little threatened since there's competition so I started to up my game and be more romantic. His response wasn't very responsive and I'm disappointed because I thought that after months of being together he would've came to the conclusion on where our relationship stands romantically. Should I just forget about him and move on or should I still give him some time to figure it out?

    Thanks
  • Amira

    Posts: 328

    Nov 28, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    If he didn't give you a clear answer on where you two stood when it first started, what makes you think he will now with another guy in the picture? That really was your first sign, is when he was not able to give you a clue on where you two were heading. If someone can not give you an answer on where the relationship (if there is one at hand) is going, then it tells you that they don't think of you in that sense to give you a direct answer.

    I just don't think he ever cared for the time you two spent together. I mean you two would have dinner, wine and sex for months without any type of serious discussion of the relationship from what I gathered.

    So should you move on? Well that's your choice, it just brings me back to my first point in my first sentence. He seems like he never felt a spark with you which is why he never closed himself off from dating other guys until he found one that he DID click with. It's a sucky situation but I'm sure that you can learn from the experience if you decide to take the hint.
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    Nov 28, 2012 7:48 AM GMT
    lmn3000 said
    . . . but he still would avoid the question on where our relationship is heading.

    Then all of a sudden during the last past few weeks I noticed he stopped texting me and started mentioning that we never do anything romantic. He brought up another guy he's been hanging out and he said that this guy is very romantic and sweeps him off his feet but its too much sometimes.
    If you had a relationship, you don't anymore. Move on. He's being "romantic" with someone else, and not with you - Whatever it was, it's over.