my mom beats the fear of aids into my head daily- when i first came out i was told of how her cousin Andy was beloved by the whole family, and was embraced by everyone when he came out... then he went to nyc for film school, got aids, and died in a year quite horrifically- this when i was a toddler. then, i was invited to watch Philadelphia with my mom and dad one night- we all cried together and mom made me swear i'd never put her through that. she's a nurse practitioner, so i hear stories almost weekly from her of the young men that she has to test and then give the news that they're positive. being an empathetic and imaginative person, its easy to put myself in that position, mentally, and wonder how i'd react if it were me in those shoes.
the growing danger these days is that the kids of my generation don't remember the holocaust of the 80's, and to us, aids has become something you really don't want, and that you know will kill you EVENTUALLY... but that just isn't as scary as it used to be. so many don't use condoms, or require their partner to get tested before sleeping with them. SHOW ME PAPERWORK. no, it doesn't kill quickly as it used to- but i should think that walking around feeling like a time bomb would be worse, because it WILL kill a guy in the end, its just a matter of time- and its not a pretty way to go in the least. i can't stand when ppl try to lessen its seriousness with quoting cases of people who have had it for tens of years- its still ultimately a deadly incurable disease, and lulling people into a false sense of comfort or acceptance of having it is not constructive at all. not to mention, from what i've read from hiv+ guys in here, life can be pretty miserable with the cocktails of heavy duty meds needed to keep the disease at bay. and then there's the social alienation one experiences merely for having it. i have so much respect for the guys in here who live with it daily- its a burden i never want to bear and wouldn't wish on anyone.