Why can't I hookup?

  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Nov 30, 2012 8:14 PM GMT
    I've started to accept that no one wants to date a 19 year old. I've tried and tried, but the best I get is a guy that wants a fuck buddy. And I've been told on here it's because at 19 we're too immature for a relationship. Fine, but why can't I do the mindless sex thing!

    In the case of yesterday, a guy way (WAY) out of my league told me he could come over and do our thing, he was exactly my type and very confident, but I just couldn't do it. I never invited him over. Am I a crazy person? Am I meant to be Amish? Will I ever have sex again or should I join the covenant?
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 30, 2012 8:28 PM GMT
    I have exactly the same. I am just unable to have sex with a complete stranger. I need to know someone first...
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Nov 30, 2012 8:33 PM GMT
    Kevmoran,
    Give it another year, see where your mind is then. Concentrate on what is important now, school?
    If you can't be a whore is that a bad thing?
    Usually I would say, "Oh get over it, and just let it happen. It will suck but, once you get past that, it's fun (if its your first time)

    Take care, be smart.
    cheers
    JW
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    I feel you, kev. I feel you.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Nov 30, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    When you're ready, and meet the right guy - it will happen. Be patient, if you can't follow through, then you're not ready yet.
    There's nothing wrong with a hook-up outside of dating, but just be sure it's someone you can trust - you'll know when you're comfortable with a guy for that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    Ugh, I have the same issue. I put my profile up on OKCupid two or three weeks ago, I got over 100 views of my profile and only been messaged by 6 people. I put my profile up on Grindr and Adam4adam and I've gotten dozens of messages... And I'm really picky so I'm not gonna give it up to just anyone. Plus I might woose out anyway.

    No one wants to buy me dinner first. icon_cry.gif
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Nov 30, 2012 10:48 PM GMT
    Same, i was told today that I am "too young", i'm 21 and the guy is 27.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    Convent. A covenant is a pact between two or more. icon_wink.gif

    I'm a bit confused about what you're asking. Are you asking why can't you hook up randomly or why doesn't anyone think you're mature enough to be in a relationship?

    You can't hookup because you're relationship oriented - you like the idea of "making love" and being WITH someone not just random sex where it's one of you shoving his dick into the other and then calling it a day. You want the emotional connection and hookups simply don't satisfy you. Nothing wrong with it. Personally, I wish I was more detached with people to enable more comfortable hookups. I've done that twice and left feeling that it wasn't right - it wasn't my thing.

    To the latter, all I can say is that when you're 19 - you're nineTEEN. People still see you as a teenager and therefore a bit immature. I personally will not date a 19 year old despite me being only 22 since I feel like you haven't experienced college or life really after high school yet. It's really just a safeguard. You're probably more mature then many 30 year olds but, for me at least, it's just a safeguard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2012 2:51 AM GMT
    kevmoran said
    In the case of yesterday, a guy way (WAY) out of my league told me he could come over and do our thing, he was exactly my type and very confident, but I just couldn't do it. I never invited him over. Am I a crazy person? Am I meant to be Amish? Will I ever have sex again or should I join the covenant?


    You sound like a normal human being to me. And I think that's pretty awesome myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2012 3:14 AM GMT
    Welcome to life. This is what guys call a "dry spell." It's not exclusive to gays, or even males.

    Now stop yer bitchin' and get back on grindr. icon_razz.gif
  • newyorkcanon

    Posts: 37

    Dec 01, 2012 3:55 AM GMT
    Some guys don't want to date me... not because of my age or how much younger I look, but because I've never been in a relationship.

    I can hook-up but half of the time I'll end up feeling trashy afterwards, especially when I realize that you don't need a guy to get off- just your hand.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2012 5:20 AM GMT
    Maybe you're looking in the wrong places? I think maybe the interweb, although making hookups very easy, has really destroyed the mystery of actually meeting people. I came out before Grindr, a4a, etc. I met every guy I slept with in a gay bar. There were lots, but I never slept with a guy I didn't really like - someone I could see dating later . 99 percent of the time these were all nighters - not just quick hookups. I was even dated1 guy for a year, a student,who was only 18. The advantage to meeting some 1 in a bar, was that you got to talk to them before deciding whether or not you liked them. The internet turned it all around, all you see is a picture of somebody before you actually talk to them in person. and I didn't even drink much, nor like the smoke in the bars. Does anyone go to bars anymore? No matter where it is, I think you might be better off meeting guys IRL instead of on a website . If you really want to get laid, go to a gay destination in the summer, like Provincetown. It will be easy . These days I just look when I'm there, since I have a partner, but thousands of guys are getting it on.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Dec 05, 2012 4:33 PM GMT
    other 19 yr olds feel just as you do- seek them out!!!!!
  • shanenewbie12

    Posts: 3

    Dec 05, 2012 5:01 PM GMT
    I dont understand y iv had a great relationship with a hot young guy for two yrs n now all i want is fit young guys there loss tho lol