Married Guys...?

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Dec 01, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Well, I know this really isn't a rare type of thing but I'm just curious really. I have noticed that some guys on sites, mostly sites like Adam4Adam, Craigslist, etc, pretty much your hookup sites have quite a few discreet married guys. I was shocked to see this at first since I never knew this thing could happen. But yeah, there were times where some married guys would hit me up and the minute I read that they were "married and discrete", I instantly turned them down.

    I don't know but I just don't feel right doing that kind of stuff. I know people will say it's not your fault but their own but I would feel guilty having a role in it. So that is why I am 100% against meeting a married man. If his wife was okay with his sexuality and didn't mind, that might be a different story but for the most part, I'm strictly against.

    Anyway, my question is this. Would you date/fool around with a married guy?
  • spankydrunk

    Posts: 45

    Dec 01, 2012 1:11 AM GMT
    I have fooled around with a married guy and his wife didn't know about it. I know he loves his wife and I he would never leave her. It's his issue, if he wants to keep it a secret that's fine with me.
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    Dec 01, 2012 1:27 AM GMT
    Had this experience before when I visited dating sites. They usually make it apparent that they're married or mention it in casual conversation. I often ask them how they think it makes their wife and kid feel and they stop talking to me.

    I have a low tolerance for that and would never even think for a second to get involved with a married guy. I could give a fuck how he feels as it doesn't seem like he cares much how his wife does going behind her back. That goes for cheaters in general though.
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    Dec 01, 2012 3:23 AM GMT
    Dusk_Moonlight saidWould you date/fool around with a married guy?
    Yeah, a few times, and probably will again someday.

    When you're working out of town in small homophobic hillbilly podunk towns for months at a time, you do what you gotta do.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Dec 01, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    spankydrunk saidI have fooled around with a married guy and his wife didn't know about it. I know he loves his wife and I he would never leave her. It's his issue, if he wants to keep it a secret that's fine with me.


    Until he gives his wife HIV or some other disease. Not from you, but from whoever else he's fucking around with. Yeah, that's some fine secret he's keeping.
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    Dec 01, 2012 4:58 AM GMT
    Did once unwilling but I would never do it again. I promptly told him to leave when he said he was married. He lied and said he was divorced.
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    Dec 01, 2012 6:06 AM GMT
    Such a lot of morality here. If a married, closeted, gay guy wants to fool around, that's between him and his wife. a lot of these married guys want to stay with their wives, and don't want to leave them, and probably their children, to start a new gay life. When oh I was dating, I had a few encounters with married men. I would never try a relationship, because they are not available.
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    Dec 01, 2012 7:09 AM GMT
    To the OP, you live in a city outside of Vegas. Open Grindr, go to the Strip and you'll see lots of married guys looking to hook up with other guys. The torso profiles with limited stats are good indicators.

    I agree with the above poster to a certain extent. Sex between two guys regardless of marital status is their choice and whether or not the married guy wants to disclose any of his activities to his wife is clearly up to him. It is definitely your right, when meeting a guy, to state that you are not interested in being with a married man. Being upfront with your intentions is hopefully enough to tell the married guy to back off since married guys are specifically looking for sex and not concrete emotions.

    By the way, to answer your question, when I was in my late 20's I periodically messed around with a bi-guy who had a girlfriend, now his wife. Here's the thing - she knew about us messing around and she was okay with it. Her thinking was as long as he was not messing with another woman, she's okay with him being with a guy. Our relationship was purely physical. If I didn't move out of state, I think we would still be messing around but I'm glad I'm with my partner now who keeps me "straight." icon_wink.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Dec 01, 2012 10:52 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidTo the OP, you live in a city outside of Vegas. Open Grindr, go to the Strip and you'll see lots of married guys looking to hook up with other guys. The torso profiles with limited stats are good indicators.

    I agree with the above poster to a certain extent. Sex between two guys regardless of marital status is their choice and whether or not the married guy wants to disclose any of his activities to his wife is clearly up to him. It is definitely your right, when meeting a guy, to state that you are not interested in being with a married man. Being upfront with your intentions is hopefully enough to tell the married guy to back off since married guys are specifically looking for sex and not concrete emotions.

    By the way, to answer your question, when I was in my late 20's I periodically messed around with a bi-guy who had a girlfriend, now his wife. Here's the thing - she knew about us messing around and she was okay with it. Her thinking was as long as he was not messing with another woman, she's okay with him being with a guy. Our relationship was purely physical. If I didn't move out of state, I think we would still be messing around but I'm glad I'm with my partner now who keeps me "straight." icon_wink.gif

    But his girlfriend was alright with it so if it was a scenario like that and I did like the guy, I could probably work something out. But yeah, I'm happy you had a pleasant experience.

    And yeah, I typically try to avoid the discrete married guys. I understand a lot of points being made by some guys who don't care but for me, it just feels somewhat immoral. It's just how I am wired I guess.

    I mean, when I think about it, I can picture his wife hurt and kids confused and hurt and in turn, makes me feel like crap... So yeah, that's one reason why I don't think I could ever do anything with married guy.
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    Dec 01, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    spankydrunk saidI have fooled around with a married guy and his wife didn't know about it. I know he loves his wife and I he would never leave her. It's his issue, if he wants to keep it a secret that's fine with me.


    Until he gives his wife HIV or some other disease. Not from you, but from whoever else he's fucking around with. Yeah, that's some fine secret he's keeping.


    This. That's the problem with closet cases fooling around without their partners knowledge, because when they do bring back an unwanted "gift" all hell will be brought down upon them. Sure, you get to walk away, enjoying the memory of that night, or weekend in Vegas or whatever.
    I would just as soon not have meaningless sex with anyone, especially sex addicted liars and that really is what a married man, or any man in any committed relationship is who is stepping out without his partners knowing about it. If they want to have a 3some, more power to them, still would not want any part of it, but at least everyone is on the same page.
    No, just not into confused liars. no matter how hot their bodies might be, their hears are still manure.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2012 2:11 PM GMT
    @ smartmoney - Wisdom... The man has it in spades.
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    Dec 01, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    No
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Dec 01, 2012 4:07 PM GMT
    THIS!

    JumpMan_Josh saidHad this experience before when I visited dating sites. They usually make it apparent that they're married or mention it in casual conversation. I often ask them how they think it makes their wife and kid feel and they stop talking to me.

    I have a low tolerance for that and would never even think for a second to get involved with a married guy. I could give a fuck how he feels as it doesn't seem like he cares much how his wife does going behind her back. That goes for cheaters in general though.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Dec 01, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    Nope. If he can lie to his wife and disregard his own family w/o conscience, he's the exact type of person I try to avoid. Wouldn't even be friends with someone like that.