Is it because im black

  • manny319

    Posts: 15

    Dec 02, 2012 9:32 AM GMT
    I feel like most of the time im at a Disadvantage when it comes to dating guys because of my race im black but that seem to be a problem with guy that are not of my race
  • jchris86

    Posts: 20

    Dec 02, 2012 4:23 PM GMT
    I can't speak for everyone else but it's not a problem for me my ex boyfriend is black. I do see that attitude sometimes though and i don't know why. I would think by now we'd have moved past that kind of stuff but apparently not. Some people though that might not date a black guy just may not be attracted to you not because they dislike black people but because everyone has their type that they like and are attracted to. But for some it is just because of racist type ideas and it's sad. My thing is i don't like thug like people whatever their race and i see a lot of that where i live right now. Some of them are hot but thats all they have going for them, and i see it just as much in white guys around here too. It's whats sold to everyone in the culture as the way to be today and it's hurting all of us as far as i can tell.
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    Dec 02, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    If it's not one thing, it's another. Sure, this time it's because you're black, but next week, because you're gay, or tall, or flabby or the wrong car or whatever. Playing the blame game could last a lifetime and if you look at some of the other cynical threads on here about hard impossible it is to find a quality partner, you can see the same excuses. Become the best person you can be regardless of race, car, flabbiness and attract the best person you can and live a healthy, happy life. Simple really.
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Dec 02, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    Someone will always be at a disadvantage like smartmoney says. Whether your Black, or some other minority group. Lacking in financial funds, not having the perfect body, to tall, to short, to hairy, to skinny, to large, to much this and that.

    Work on yourself and keep doing that. I know this has been repeated so many times but I seriously do believe in it. You have to know yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Yes you will have hurdles that you have to jump over,

    yes you will meet people whom because of said above things will not give you a second glance but that's their own concern.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Dec 02, 2012 6:22 PM GMT
    Why does your profile say you're mixed though? Seems like you may have some issues over your race as well. People could be picking up on your lack of confidence. Feeling sorry for yourself won't attract anyone (of any race).
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    Dec 02, 2012 6:26 PM GMT
    Well I have the same problem too but just try keep trying. There's some guys with black fetishes and then there's some men who really don't care about race. Some do and some don't but think black men come with too many issues so they avoid them. Hell I'm guilty of that.

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    Dec 02, 2012 6:38 PM GMT
    great_scott saidWhy does your profile say you're mixed though? Seems like you may have some issues over your race as well. People could be picking up on your lack of confidence. Feeling sorry for yourself won't attract anyone (of any race).
    This. It's not your race, it's your self-esteem.
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    Dec 02, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    Neight said
    great_scott saidWhy does your profile say you're mixed though? Seems like you may have some issues over your race as well. People could be picking up on your lack of confidence. Feeling sorry for yourself won't attract anyone (of any race).
    This. It's not your race, it's your self-esteem.


    I don't see how this has anything to with his self esteem.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1165

    Dec 02, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    I know guys who are 100% black or 100% asian who still put "mixed" under ethnicity, so that guys who filter out certain races in their advanced search options can't filter them out icon_eek.gif
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    Dec 02, 2012 11:39 PM GMT
    Just about every young guy on this site report problems dating. People are attracted to whomever they are attracted to, and there is no accounting for it. Do you have a disadvantage in the dating department because you are black and in a northern city? Hard to know, but probably the pool of white guys who might find you attractive is smaller than the pool guys who like find another white guy attractive. While there probably isn't any discrimination against blacks in being admitted to bars (it is illegal) there is still a lot of racial prejudice in our society, and probably no less so among gays then straights, so there must be white guys who could never date a black guy even though they thought he was attractive, because of the bias they carry with them. OTOH there are some white guys who will only date black guys because that is the limit of their attraction. I understand that in gay Sweden, black guys are very popular among the Swedes - maybe because on an unconscious level they are seen as exotic where the country is so terribly white. Who anyone finds attractive is undoubtedly as an unconscious a choice as liking men over women. You cannot change anyone else, so as someone else said, be the best you can be and be open to who is out there.